User:Cerberusleuth/Dirk

	"Mature Content"
	This character or verse has mature themes and concepts, thus those of young age are ill-advised to look through these.

“

A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 13th of April, 2009, is this young man's birthday. Though it was thirteen years ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name! What will the name of this young man be?

„

“	It starts with a crack. Everything else rises up from that like steam: a trembling thread that cuts through space in jagged lines, splintering the void into razor-sharp shards of putrefying leptons and quarks popping apart like raw eggs in a microwave. It’s coming undone at a subatomic level, from the bottom up, from the inside out. From the top down it looks like the eye of a storm—a black hole so supermassive that it spans the width of eternity. It turns infinity into something as thin and fragile as cellophane; shreds it of its dimensions, a piece of paper pinched together at either end, a hole poked through it. At the center of that hole the edges can be heard fraying. Pandemonium, as continuity buckles in the middle and the two ends come smashing together. Around the hole, ghosts scream. They claw at the dying borders of their dreams with fingernail-chipping desperation. They whip together like the wind, trailing the mutilated streaks of their hypothetical futures with them. It’s a multifractal neon cyclone of primordial conclusion. A churning blender of hyperfinal, catastrophically terminal, overwhelmingly permanent double-death. The screaming distorts and plunges low as it gets closer to the cavity. At the center, that distortion turns into an eerie music. That’s where the cacophony ends—the shattering, the screaming, the squelching, the sounds of elemental particles being torn apart like string cheese shoved through a meat grinder, then dumped down a strangely melodious garbage disposal. It all returns to the same tonic dominant, matching pitch and tone, ironing out the rebellious flats and sharps until the discordance becomes exquisite. A subharmonic symphony that can only be heard in the bones. At the dead center of the event, it is extremely quiet. A silence made of all the suffering that limitless sempiternity can hold, bleeding together until the prism turns to obsidian. It’s too vast to comprehend, too black to behold without closing your eyes. Retreating to the back of your own eyelids is to seek the comfort of a familiar darkness. It is to reject an absolute tenebrosity so perfectly alien, it threatens to rip the humanity right through your eye sockets. This is the end of everything. This is the end of Paradox Space. You... > Wake up. Your name is John Egbert, and you have just had a terrible, deeply pretentious nightmare. You snap out of bed, soaked in sweat, your heart hammering like a fire alarm. It is just as you feared. You’ve been dreaming in anime again. And you have no idea what it could mean.	„
	~ The Prologue

“

> John: Fight Lord English.

„

“	Speaking of which, I think it's time I started undoing some of the more egregious mistakes this story has been subjected to over the years. Yes, I'm talking about that guy. The other orange one. Remember him? Vriska got stalked by him a bit and it was uncomfortable for everyone concerned. Anyway, the point is that he fucked up big time, and I'm here to clean up the horseshit. It's time to get this story back on the rails, back to what it was always supposed to be. I know it, and you've somehow always known it too. There was something else, some other route that Homestuck was meant to take but then didn't, a way that wouldn't've spent so much time dicking around with stuff nobody cares about. Like seriously, why did we all have to sit through talking about everyone's most intimate and private feelings for two hundred thousand fucking words. That would never have happened in Act 1. Where did it all go wrong?'	„
	~ Dirk Strider

“	A hand-drawn tribute to hilarious '90s adventure games (with none of the accompanying frustration). Play as Joey Claire, a puzzle-solving teen snatched out of her time (1994) and place (Earth) and stranded on a hostile alien planet on the brink of rebellion.	„
	~ Steam description

“

You just crash-landed on Alternia, and you’re DESPERATE for friendship! Anyone will do...wait, who are those two trolls approaching you? A darkly comedic episodic visual novel set in the Homestuck/Hiveswap universe.

„

“

Embark on a quest of epic importance in Pesterquest, a grimsical episodic visual novel adventure set in the darkly funny Homestuck / Hiveswap universe. Find all the answers you're looking for as you zap between Earth and Alternia making friends as you go.

„

Background

Homestuck is a webcomic that was made on April 13th, 2009 by Andrew Hussie. The story is about a boy named John Egbert, a 13-year-old boy who receives a beta copy of a game called SBURB, and plays it along with his three friends. Little do they all know, the fate of the universe is tied to the game. Eventually, 12 "trolls" are introduced as well, who have already beat the game, and can view the entire progress of the gameplay of the 4 main characters.

The Homestuck Epilogues takes place in 10 years after the events of Homestuck. John has a bad dream about a supermassive black hole the size of eternity swallowing all of Paradox Space. Rose Lolande tells John he needs to team up with her, Dave, and Jade to travel back in time to defeat Lord English, the overarching antagonist of the entire series. Meanwhile, Dirk commits suicide and is the first person in the series to evolve into "his ultimate self"

Homestuck^2: Beyond Canon is the ongoing sequel to Homestuck. It involves Ultimate Dirk (from the Candy Timeline) facing off against Alt. Calliope (from the Meat Timeline) in a battle for total control over the narrative. Meanwhile, Jane Crocker has become corrupt and xenophobic, declaring war against all trolls (barring the now deceased Gamzee Makara, who is her son's "Uncle", and his death is used for further hate towards the trolls), and Harry Anderson Egbert (the son of John Egbert) and his friends join the rebellion against her.

Hiveswap revolves around the human teenager Joey Claire and the troll Xefros Tritoh as they accidently swap homes. They eventually meet up on Alternia and Joey adapts to Alternian culture disguised as a troll.

Hiveswap Friendship Simulator revolves around the MSPA Reader, who crash-lands on Alternia and proceeds to look for friendship, making friends with trolls from Hiveswap. He eventually winds up in Doc Scratch's mansion, and then obtains the Retcon Powers, travelling back in time to meet John Egbert and his friends, starting Pesterquest

Power of the Verse

Homestuck varies wildly in power. The weaker characters are anywhere from Small Building level, up to Multi-City Block level, being able to take down large monsters and being able to small planet-like structures, and being able to easily reach Massively FTL+ speeds. Stronger characters quickly jump up to Multiversal+ levels of power, being able to achieve massive levels of destruction. The Top-Tiers sit comfortably at Complex Multiverse level for being able to destroy and/or transcend the entire cosmology, containing at least 5 dimensions and platonic concepts

The verse has a handful of powers, most of which come from Sburb Player Physiology, along with others, such as Causality Manipulation, Fate Manipulation, Probability Manipulation, Resistance Manipulation, Plot Manipulation, Conceptual Manipulation, and many more

Verse Scaling

The weakest characters scale to Small Building level for killing monsters of this size, and can create afterimages and scaling to a robot that can slice a wave of bullets in half, becoming Supersonic+

Slightly stronger characters scale to Jackspers Noirlecrow severing a chain between Prospit and its moon, along with Sollux Captor destroying Eridan's ship of this size by throwing a mall at it, and his energy scaling to his ancestor's, which can power the Condesce's ship, making it move thousands of lightyears in mere hours, making these characters Multi-City Block level and Massively FTL+

A lot of characters scale to Jack Noir, who with his newfound energy and power, used The Red Miles to destroy Bilious Slick, which contains infinite timelines, along with Doc Scratch resetting Bilious Slick and linking its life with Snowman, making them all Multiverse level+. Many characters move in the Furthest Ring or the Incinisphere, all of them lack time, along with Rose and Dave moving from the core of the Green Sun (twice the size of the already infinite in size Bilious Slick) to the surface, making them Extra-Temporal

The strongest characters are Complex Multiverse level for transcending or destroying the cosmology (Alt. Calliope being able to eat away all of Paradox Space, Lord English being able to destroy existence, and Dirk viewing everything as an illusion). Most of the characters have Omnipresence (Alt. Calliope being a supermassive black hole the size of eternity, Lord English stated to have an all-encompassing presence, Ultimate Beings existing in all timelines, and EoS MSPA Reader being bigger than the narrative)

Calculations

• Bro cuts a meteor in half (8-C/Building level+)
• Jack cuts Prospit's chain in half (8-A/Multi-City Block level)
• The Red Miles and the Reckoning's power (7-B/City level)
• Bro throws a batarang (FTL)

Knowledgeable Members

• Sadistic Sleuth
• The Nameless Monster

Characters

• 

  John Egbert

• 

  Rose Lalonde

• 

  Dave Strider

• 

  Jade Harley

• 

  Jane Crocker

• 

  Roxy Lalonde

• 

  Dirk Strider

• 

  Jake English

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