User:Cerberusleuth/M

	"Mature Content"
	This character or verse has mature themes and concepts, thus those of young age are ill-advised to look through these.

“	Public Service Announcement and another annoying message from Slim Shady. Due to a massive amount of bootlegging, no thanks to this fucking guy, DJ Whoo Kid, and constant downloading, people are no longer buying CDs so that we can get paid for our fucking work. They are just continuing to get songs for free. Teenagers, older folks, and little fucking brats alike. See, what they do, is they buy computers, strictly pick songs that they like and burn them on to CDs or put them on iPods, causing major decrease in sound scan, putting music retail in a tremendous slump, causing artists such as myself, to make NO money for record sales, and be FORCED to tour, CAUSING MORE STRESS, ARGUMENTS WITH MY WIFE, NOT BEING ABLE TO SEE MY KIDS, DRINK MORE, TAKE MORE PILLS, PUNCH MORE PEOPLE IN THE FACE, HATE THE WORLD, AND END UP IN REHAB! *sigh* This has been a Public Service Announcement and an excuse to vent by Marshall Mathers. Not that I wouldn't have done the same thing if I could get music for free when I was a kid, but now that I rap for a living, BUY MY GODDAMN CDs! But in the meantime, buy this Obie Trice bootleg from DJ Whoo Kid and put more money in his pocket. Thanks	„
	~ Public Service Announcement (2006)

“	This is a public service announcement brought to you in part by Slim Shady. The views and events expressed here are totally fucked, and are not necessarily the views of anyone. However, the events and suggestions that appear on this album are not to be taken lightly. Children should not partake in the listening of this album eith laces in their shoes. Slim Shady is not responsible for your actions. Upon purchasing this album, you have agreed not to try this at home. (A-anything else?) Yeah, don't do drugs	„
	~ Public Service Announcement

“	My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why, I got out of bed at all. The morning rain clouds up my window, and I can't see at all. And even if I could it'll all be gray, put your picture on my wall. It reminds me, that it's not so bad, it's not so bad My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why, I got out of bed at all. The morning rain clouds up my window, and I can't see at all. And even if I could it'll all be gray, put your picture on my wall. It reminds me, that it's not so bad, it's not so bad Dear Slim, I wrote you but still ain't callin'. I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom. I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em. There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin'. Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em. But anyways, fuck it, what's been up? Man how's your daughter? My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm 'bout to be a father. If I have a daughter, guess what I'm a call her? I'ma name her Bonnie. I read about your Uncle Ronnie too I'm sorry, I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't want him. I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan. I even got the underground shit that you did with Skam. I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man.I like the shit you did with Rawkus too, that shit was fat. Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back, just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan, this is Stan My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why, I got out of bed at all. The morning rain clouds up my window, and I can't see at all. And even if I could it'll all be gray, put your picture on my wall. It reminds me, that it's not so bad, it's not so bad Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance. I ain't mad, I just think it's fucked up you don't answer fans. If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concert, you didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for Matthew. That's my little brother man, he's only six years old. We waited in the blistering cold for you for four hours and you just said, "No." That's pretty shitty man, you're like his fuckin' idol, he wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do. I ain't that mad though, I just don't like bein' lied to. Remember when we met in Denver, you said if I'd write you you would write back. See I'm just like you in a way. I never knew my father neither, he used to always cheat on my mom and beat her. I can relate to what you're saying in your songs, so when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put 'em on 'cause I don't really got shit else so that shit helps when I'm depressed. I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest. Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds, it's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me. See everything you say is real, and I respect you 'cause you tell it. My girlfriend's jealous 'cause I talk about you 24/7, but she don't know you like I know you Slim, no one does, she don't know what it was like for people like us growin' up. You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose. Sincerely yours, Stan. P.S. we should be together too My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why, I got out of bed at all. The morning rain clouds up my window, and I can't see at all. And even if I could it'll all be gray, put your picture on my wall. It reminds me, that it's not so bad, it's not so bad Dear Mister "I'm Too Good To Call Or Write My Fans", this will be the last package I ever send your ass. It's been six months and still no word, I don't deserve it? I know you got my last two letters, I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect! So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it. I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway. Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive? You know the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air of the Night" about that guy who could a saved that other guy from drowning, but didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a a show he found him? That's kinda how this is, you could a rescued me from drowning. Now it's too late, I'm on a thousand downers now, I'm drowsy, and all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call. I hope you know I ripped all of your pictures off the wall! I love you Slim, we coulda been together, think about it! YOU RUINED IT NOW, I HOPE YOU CAN'T SLEEP AND YOU DREAM ABOUT IT, AND WHEN YOU DREAM I HOPE YOU CAN'T SLEEP AND YOU SCREAM ABOUT IT! I HOPE YOUR CONSCIENCE EATS AT YOU AND YOU CAN'T BREATHE WITHOUT ME! SEE SLIM?! Shut up bitch! I'm tryin' to talk! Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screamin' in the trunk, but I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you 'cause if she suffocates she'll suffer more, and then she'll die too. Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now. Oh shit, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this shit out? My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why, I got out of bed at all. The morning rain clouds up my window, and I can't see at all. And even if I could it'll all be gray, put your picture on my wall. It reminds me, that it's not so bad, it's not so bad Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy. You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she? Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that, and here's an autograph for your brother, I wrote it on the Starter cap. I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I must of missed you, don't think I did that shit intentionally just to diss you. But what's this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists too? I say that shit just clownin' dog, come on, how fucked up is you? You got some issues Stan, I think you need some counseling to help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get down some. And what's this shit about us meant to be together? That type of shit will make me not want us to meet each other. I really think you and your girlfriend need each other, or maybe you just need to treat her better. I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time, before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin' just fine. If you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you but Stan. Why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan, I just don't want you to do some crazy shit. I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick. Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge, and had his girlfriend in the trunk, and she was pregnant with his kid, and in the car they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to. Come to think about, his name was... it was you Damn.	„
	~ Stan Lyrics

“	So to the parents of America, I am the Derringer aimed at little Erica, to attack her character! The ringleader of this circus of worthless pawns sent to lead the march right up to the steps of congress and piss on the lawns of the White House, to burn the flag and replace it with a Parental Advisory sticker, to spit liquor inn the faces of in this democracy of hypocrisy! FUCK YOU, MS. CHENEY! FUCK YOU, TIPPER GORE! FUCK YOU WITH THE FREEST OF SPEECH THIS DIVIDED STATES OF EMBARRASSMENT WILL ALLOW ME TO HAVE! FUCK YOU!	„
	~ The ending of White America

“	Step by step Heart to heart Left right left We all fall down like toy soldiers Bit by bit Torn apart We never win but the battle wages on For toy soldiers	„
	~ Like Toy Soldiers chorus

“	*burps* Woo! Hey, how you guys doin'? You want more? Alright! THEN SHUT UP! Shooby doo, Shoody doo, Shooby doo, Shoody doo, Shooby doo, Shoody doo, Shooby doo, Shoody doo, Skibbidy bee bop, Girl, Girl, girl, girl, You're my world, World, world, world, You're my pearl, Pearl, pearl, pearl, You're my world, Woooorld Hey yo, here's a song for the ladies...	„
	~ The Intro to the Album, before the notorious song FACK

“	Sixty thousand people all jumpin' out their seat, the curtain closes, they're throwin' roses at my feet. I take a bow, and thank you all for comin' out, they're screamin' so loud, I take one last look at the crowd, I glance down, I don't believe what I'm seein' "Daddy, its me, help mommy, her wrists are bleedin'" "But baby we're in Sweden, how did you get to Sweden?" "I followed you daddy, you told me that you weren't leavin'. You lied to me dad, and now you made mommy sad, and I bought you this coin, it says number one dad, that's all I wanted, I just want to give you this coin" "I get the point, fine, me and mommy are goin'" "But baby wait, it's too late dad, you made your choice, now go out there and show 'em that you love 'em more than us, that's what they want, they want you, Marshall, they keep screamin' your name it's no wonder you can't go to sleep. Just take another pill, yeah I bet you you will! You rap about it, yeah word, kid keep it real" I hear a applause, all this time I couldn't see, how could it be, that the curtain is closin' on me! I turn around, find a gun on the ground, cock it, put it to my brain, scream "die Shady!" and pop it. The sky darkens, my life flashes, the plane that I was supposed to be on, crashes, and burns to ashes. That's when I wake up, alarm clock's ringing, there's birds singin', it's spring and Hailie's outside swingin'. I walk right up to Kim and kiss her tell her I miss her. Hailie just smiles and winks at her little sister almost as if to say...	„
	~ Sample from When I'm Gone

Powers and Stats

Tier: 2-A with Constraining Orders

Name: Marshall Bruce Mathers III, Marshall Mathers, Eminem, Slim Shady, Slim

Origin: Eminem

Age: 49

Sex:

Classification: American Rapper, Member of D12, (Bad) Influence

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Attack Potency: Hyper Multiverse level with Constraining Orders (Has ordered a constraining order against Giygas)

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