User:GiverOfThePeace/Hat Kid vs. Madeline

Interlude

(Cue theme) Jet: When traveling around one usually has a purpose for doing so.

Launch: Whether it be to cross something off a bucket list or getting your stuff so you can just go home.

Jet: Like Hat Kid, a time traveling explorer in search of her time pieces!

Launch: And Madeline, a mountain climber with relatable issues!

Jet: He’s Launch and I’m Jet.

Launch: And it’s time to see who would win… A death battle! Wait, were our roles reversed?

Jet: No, you did that win a death battle thing in Pucca vs Amy, and Cal vs Ezra.

Launch: Wow… and here I thought that was your catchphrase.

Hat Kid

(Cue theme)

Jet: Journeying around space, 5 lightyears from home, the day started off great for our little alien Hat Kid.

Launch: That was until a random mafia member knocked onto her ship demanding payment, in which she refused, causing him to punch her ship and suck out all of her time pieces. Yikes.

Jet: Due to this, Hat Kid had to land on this new planet with only one true task in mind. Get the time pieces… And be a movie star, but the time pieces held the top most priority.

Launch: Which by her appearance you’d think is an impossible task.

Jet: However, do not be fooled by her appearance, this little girl is a more monstrous beast then you can imagine. For whatever reason Hat Kid seems to have superhuman strength.

Launch: She can lift walruses with one hand while still being able to acrobatically flip and do all of her jumps. Defeat giant enemies, and even harm the mafia. And the mafia are able to punch right through Hat Kid’s ship window and break it casually! This little girl can not only beat a bunch of them trying to attack her but their very boss too, while he’s amplified by a time piece!

Jet: She is also incredibly quick on her feet, she can outpace electrical currents while hanging on a tightrope, dodge attacks from Conductor who can attack so fast it looks like there’s multiple knives at once!

Launch: She can also react to and tag mafia members who are capable of tagging her spaceship, while it was going at full speed!

Jet: Her spaceship while going at full speed was implied to travel lightyears in a short timeframe, this lets us know that the mafia members are capable of tagging something with interstellar travel!

Launch: She also has a lot of abilities with her different hats. With the regular kid hat she can spot the most important objective to help her out during her journey.

Jet: With the ice hat she can turn into an ice statue, being completely impervious to all attacks.

Launch: With the brewing hat she can make flasks that explode, she can even make money explode somehow, don’t ask too many questions.

Jet: She can run even faster with the sprint hat.

Launch: She can make intangible objects tangible and vice versa with the dweller’s mask.

Jet: She can slow down time with the time stop hat. ...Why is it called the time stop hat if it slows down time?

Launch: Remember Jeff, don’t ask too many questions.

Jet: It’s Jet.

Launch: Right Jax. Anywho, she’s also an incredibly smart kid, I mean REALLY smart.

Jet: Remember the schematics of her ship? Well it’s confirmed on the schematics that she made the ship, and that this isn’t the first version of the ship either. On this same ship there exists a device that allows Hat Kid to collapse dimensions together to bring alternate universe Hat Kids and Bow Kids to have fun with her.

Launch: This is literally impossible, yet she somehow did it.

Jet: She’s also well adept in running, she had an entire city of cats after her with a 2 million bounty on her head and she managed to escape safe and sound!

Launch: It goes to show you that you shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover.

Jet: Well not fully, while Hat Kid is impressive for her age, she is still a kid. If you remove her hat she loses her hat abilities, and she shows to still have an immature sentimentality, also she’s been double crossed by basically everyone she’s be-friended.

Launch: She also refuses to use those time pieces unless absolutely necessary, which shows great restraint but like, man. She can control time and space with these things.

Jet: Regardless, at the end of the day Hat Kid got all of her time pieces back, made a heartfelt goodbye by pushing most of the cast off her ship with a broom, and flew off back home.

“	I'm a time traveling explorer! No area is too dangerous for me and my umbrella. My mission is to find all the time pieces so I can go home!	„
	~ Hat Kid

Madeline

Cue theme. Launch: You know Jet, I hate mountain climbing.

Jet: Oh really? Why’s that?

Launch: Imagine having to climb a place with a bunch of spikes, sentient living blocks, red things that move around, and having to do various levels of parkour and the ability to air dash in order to reach a top and not get anything.

Jet: L...Launch what?! Mountain climbing isn’t like that at all!

Launch: Wait really?

Jet: Yes!

Launch: Then why did Madeline have to go through all of that?

Jet: Well aside from it being a video game… Ahem, Madeline is a girl suffering from depression and anxiety.

Launch: So it comes with no surprise that she is one of the most relatable game characters. Jet: Right. Anyways, due to this she issued a challenge to herself, climb to the top of Celeste Mountain.

Launch: And boy what a climb it is, she has to deal with moving sentient blocks, ghosts, and the personification of her insecurities to get to the top. So it comes with no surprise that she has to be pretty strong in order to do this.

Jet: Madeline is extremely well endowed at parkour, and has an ability that allows her to momentarily boost into the air to fly to certain areas.

Launch: Where the hell did she learn that? No one is going to explain? Okay then.

Jet: She is also incredibly strong, being capable of lifting Theo while he’s trapped inside of a giant crystal and throwing it with ease.

Launch: She can harm these weird fish monsters who can destroy walls.

Jet: She can somehow harm ghosts.

Launch: This ghost was also strong enough to casually break an entire bridge from a mere stomp!

Jet: She’s also extremely durable, surviving a 2500 meter drop from a mountain hitting multiple spiked crystals and just walking it off.

Launch: After her fight with Badeline, chick that was the personification of her insecurities, she fused back together with her being complete and having long flowing pink hair.

Jet: The pink hair allows Madeline to boost in the air twice, so not only was she beforehand breaking physics by gaining enough momentum to boost off the ground, but now she’s literally boosting off of the air!

Launch: Madeline’s insecurities also weirdly enough make her somehow capable of trapping people… In her dreams? She first did this to Theo while they were in the mirror dimension, and then did this to a bird that was good friends with Granny.

Jet: Along with this her insecure self has a good number of powers herself.

Launch: She can shoot energy beams, create tentacles, create duplicates of herself, and telekinetically move objects like rocks!

Jet: She is also capable of feats such as breaking through a wooden ceiling, flying through stone, and even breaking a bridge!

Launch: Remember that Madeline straight up beat her in a fight, you can even see some of the scuff marks from their fight. It’s weird how she’s so strong, from what her backstory shows, she’s just a regular human who happens to have the power to boost her momentum.

Jet: Well strong or not, remember Madeline is someone with depression and anxiety and she can break into panic attacks requiring a breathing exercise her friend Theo taught her.

Launch: Even with all that depression and anxiety on her back, she still pulled through with the determination to climb and see the top of the mountain.

Jet: Madeline learned through this journey to keep fighting the good fight, even when she lost Granny she was able to overtime come to terms with this and say goodbye to her dream personification.

Launch: Madeline is someone who won’t give up and will keep fighting the good fight to climb to new heights, she truly is a climber!

“

If this is all in my head, why is it so hostile? Those things are hunting me. I'm a trespasser in my own world. Theo is trapped somewhere in here because of me. If I give in fully, maybe the temple will let him go... ... Breathe. This is all coming from inside me. Get up, Madeline. Think of the feather. You can save Theo.

„

Death Battle

Hat Kid sighs in boredom on her ship, looking for the next time piece. Her radar goes off showing a time piece on top of a place called Celeste Mountain. She prepares herself to land there.

On the icy mountains Madeline treks through, she finds a small cabin of warmth. “Finally, I’ve been climbing for so long, it’s been a while.” As she sits down, a purple haired girl slowly sneaks behind her. “I know you’re there. It’s great to see you again, well I always see you, so I guess I more so mean, visibly see you outside of a dream.”

“Why are we back here?”

“You should know why.”

“I know, but do we really need to check out the disturbance on this mountain? It’s not our place.”

“Granny always watched over this mountain. I’d like to make sure the mountain she cares about is fine.” The purple haired girl knew not to argue with her on that.

“Well, this disturbance better be important, come on.” The purple haired girl fused into Madeline, giving Madeline long flowing pink hair.

They dash further up to the mountain, reaching the top. There they lay their eyes on a weird hourglass.

“What is it?” Madeline asks as the purple haired girl splits from her.

“I… don’t know. It’s a weird looking hourglass.”

“It… Feels weird. It’s giving me bad vibes Madeline. I think we should get it out of h-” Before she could finish Madeline noticed a girl wearing a top hat climbing up. “Hey, that’s the one causing the disturbance!”

“Huh? How do you know?” Madeline asked the purple haired girl.

“The mountain spoke to me, that kid’s hourglass fell here, causing many rifts. I think she’s an alien.”

“Ah! So she’s trying to take over the Earth?! We’ve got to stop her.” Madeline grabs the hourglass and puts it in her pocket. Hat Kid notices both Madeline and the purple haired look-alike stand in the way of the hourglass. She huffs and pulls out her umbrella.

Fight

Hat Kid uses her hookshot and swings over to Madeline attempting a homing attack but Madeline retaliates back with an air dash pushing both of them back. Hat Kid jumps over to her and starts rapidly hitting her with her umbrella, ending it with an energy blast sending Madeline flying straight off the mountain top. Madeline tries to air dash to reach a ledge but misses and begins falling further down.

“Part of Me, help!” Madeline says as her purple alter ego rushes over and fuses with her. She then air dashes onto a ledge and grabs it. “Okay… Did not expect her to be this strong…” Madeline breathes in.

“Remember what Theo said. Imagine the feather.” The purple haired variant comes out of her. “I’ll hold her off while you relax.” She flies upwards to where Hat Kid is, who was busy hopping down the mountain. “My friend’s tagged out. You’re facing me now. Me and her, we’re going home together.” Part of Me starts shooting various energy beams at Hat Kid as she maneuvers around all of them. “You’re sure fast.” As she says that, she duplicates more versions of herself, each blast Hat Kid. “But speed isn’t going to help you against this.” As multiple blasts get fired at once, Hat Kid switches to her time stop Hat. All the Part of Mes start moving slowly as Hat Kid quickly attacks each one.

She blows a raspberry at Part Of Me. “Y-You think that’s funny…?” Part Of Me’s blood boils as giant hair tentacles protrude out of the ground. Grabbing Hat Kid. “WELL LAUGH NOW!” Hat Kid tries to struggle out as Part of Me slams the hair tentacles into different walls of the mountain. Hat Kid then has an idea, she switches to her brewer mask and creates an explosion, vaporizing the hair. “Huh? How did you-” Before she could finish Hat Kid threw another explosion at Part of Me sending her flying down the mountain unconscious.

Part of Me awoke a couple seconds later to see that she was in Madeline’s arms.

“Don’t worry, I got you.” Madeline said.

“She’s way too strong…” Part of Me said. “I think we need to run.

Madeline shook her head. “I don’t think we can take her on separately. We need to work together.”

“How do you know we’ll succeed…?”

“I don’t, But we have to try, as long as we try, that’s all that matters. Besides, did you forget my crossbow training?” Madeline smiles as Part of Me nods her head in response. They both fuse once more, with long flowing pink hair. Hat Kid hops down to where they are, using her umbrella to slow her descent. Madeline air dashes into Madeline sending her flying back and then shoots her with an arrow sending Hat Kid flying back further. She tries to air dash into Hat Kid again but she switches to her ice hat, turning her into an ice statue that makes Madeline fly back. “Alright, that’s it! It’s time to finish this!”

Madeline begins to air dash at Hat Kid while Hat Kid charges up her energy laser. Right before they both collide, all of time stops. Hat Kid looks at her camera badge. She then takes a picture of Madeline before unfreezing time and releasing her massively charged energy laser. Madeline and Part of Me both fall out of their fused form.

K.O.

Hat Kid walks up to them. “Oh no… Listen alien, don’t do anything to our world you hear? I won’t let you harm this mountain!” Hat Kid looked at her confused then shook her head. “Huh?”

Hat Kid then explained the situation to them.

“Oh, so this thing is just your collectible that dropped from your ship.” Madeline and Part of Me looked at each other.

“Wish the mountain would’ve said that part…” Part of Me grumbled.

“Granny did say it does things like this for a reason. I wonder if it was because it feared we were growing apart again…” Hat Kid snaps her fingers to return the attention to her and points at Madeline’s pocket. “Oh right, your time piece. Sorry.” Madeline hands it to her, Hat Kid does her usual pose as she waves bye to Madeline and Part of Me.

Results

Launch: This battle wasn’t really all that close.

Jet: Hat Kid not only has a massive speed edge with dealing with Mafia members who can catch ships with interstellar travel, but also has the strength edge with being able to harm them who can casually break a window.

Launch: Don’t even get us started with the sheer versatility advantage, even the help of Part of Me wouldn’t be enough to beat Hat Kid. Dozens of projectiles being shot at her? Already dealt with that against Mustache Girl and The Snatcher, the latter of which she didn’t have her hat abilities against. Along with this is also her dozens of badges to help her with the fight.

Jet: Even a possible win condition for Madeline such as sending Hat Kid into her nightmare dimension won’t work, since Hat Kid has already went into time rifts with similar mechanics and can easily escape them.

Launch: Yeah, not even that weird crystal thingie that Theo would be enough to hold her either due to her sheer strength.

Jet: At the end of the day, Hat Kid just had the full superiority in every way.

Launch: Guess 3D is truly better than 2D.

Jet: The winner is… Hat Kid.

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