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| |-|Caliborn= | | |-|Human= |
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| | [[File:Mishra Eminem.png|center|750px]] |
| {{!}}-{{!}}Base=
| | {{Quote|Both complement and antithesis to his older brother [[Urza]], Mishra also mastered the intricacies of artifice. It was Mishra’s strength that first gave rise to the massive Phyrexian war engines on Dominaria, and it was his weakness that pushed him, Urza, and Dominaria itself to the point of annihilation.|Description from Vanguard}} |
| [[File:CalButBigger.png|thumb|500px]] | | |-|Phyrexian= |
| {{Quote|IT'S THE MASTER CLASS. DON'T YOU LOSERS DO ANY HOMEWORK ON THIS GAME. YOU'D THINK YOU WOULD ALL BE EXPERTS. WITH HOW MUCH MY SISTER HARANGUED YOU ON THIS TEDIOUS SHIT. SINCE I HAVE HAD GREAT SUCCESS SO FAR. IN PROGRESSING THROUGH THIS DEAD SESSION. I DECIDED. IT WAS TIME TO BITE THAT BULLET. AND RETURN HOME. TO RETRIEVE ALL OF HER TERRIBLE TEXTS ON THE SUBJECT OF THIS GAME. AND OF YOUR STORY. I HAVE PORED OVER EVERY NAUSEATING VERSE. IT HAS BEEN A TRUE EXERCISE IN AGONY. FEW COULD POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND MY SUFFERING. BUT THAT'S OK. BECAUSE I'M NOT THE IDIOT KID I USED TO BE. NOW I KNOW. THAT WHAT IT TAKES FOR ME TO LEARN AND GROW STRONGER. IS EXCRUCIATING EFFORT. SO I HAVE A CHOICE. WHICH IS TO EITHER BE WEAK. WHEN WEAKNESS IS COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE. OR TO SUFFER. FOREVER. UNTIL NO ONE ELSE EXISTS. WHO IS STRONGER THAN ME. AND THAT'S YOUR CHOICE TOO. [[Jake English|PAGE HUMAN ENGLISH]]. (...) FOR YOU. PROBABLY EVEN MORE SO. BECAUSE AS A LOWLY PAGE. AND AS AN EVEN LOWLIER HUMAN. YOU ARE UTTERLY WORTHLESS. AND SO YOUR TRIALS I BELIEVE MUST INCLUDE. PROVING TO PARADOX SPACE THAT YOU EVEN DESERVE TO EXIST. IN THE FIRST PLACE. AND WHILE MY TRIALS WILL BE SIMILARLY GRUELING. A LORD'S WORTHINESS IS AT NO POINT EVER IN DOUBT. HIS NOBILITY IS MANIFEST. SUPREME MASTERY WAITS FOR HIM PATIENTLY. LIKE AN EMPTY THRONE UNDER HEAVY GUARD. REALITY ALREADY KNOWS I WILL PREVAIL. JUST AS IT KNEW I WOULD PREDOMINATE. AND SO INEVITABILITY IS ALWAYS ON MY SIDE.|Caliborn explaining his motives to Jake English}} | | [[File:MishraPhyrexian.png|center|750px]] |
| {{Quote|MY POWER HAS GROWN CONSIDERABLY SINCE I LAST JEERED [[Jane Crocker|YOU]]. I HAVE MADE REMARKABLE STRIDES ON MY SACRED JOURNEY TOWARD IMPORTANT ADULTHOOD. ON THIS BULLSHIT PLANET. WHICH USED TO BE YOUR HOME. I HAVE FOUND MANY KEYS. AND UNLOCKED MANY HOLES. AND NOW I CAN SEE MORE. AND LEARN MORE. THAN YOU COULD EVER FUCKING DREAM!}}
| | {{Quote|You’ve let yourself grow old, and your light is dimming. Shall we talk one last time, or must I slay you now?|Mishra to Urza}} |
| {{Quote|BULLSHIT. I DID THEM ALL A FAVOR. BY GIVING THEM MY JUJU. THEY WERE GOING NOWHERE. AND BEING STUPID. AND DOING LITERALLY NOTHING WHATSOEVER. EXCEPT FOR WALLOWING IN GROTESQUE EMOTIONS. LOOK HOW MUCH GREAT STUFF THEY GOT DONE BECAUSE OF ME!}}
| | {{Quote|Mishra was gone — all that remained was a machine wearing his face.}} |
| {{Quote|WHO THE FUCK IS [[Mario|MARIO]].}}
| | |-|Merged with the Phyrexian Dragon Engine= |
| {{!}}-{{!}}God-Tier=
| | [[File:Dadwearenotgettinganewdogfamilygetsdoganywaydadandthedogplssendhelp.png|thumb|600px]] |
| [[File:Picture of caliborn.png|thumb|500px]] | | {{Quote|<i>The Mishra machine had recovered from the avalanche and was now charging up the hill, its dragon head screaming. Urza looked up and saw his brother's face, half-torn from the metallic skull beneath, and wept for him. |
| {{Quote|THIS CONCLUDES THE FIRST THING OF THE STORY. WHICH IS CALLED AN "ACT". THERE ARE A LOT OF THESE. AND THEY ONLY GET LONGER. AND THEN BEGIN TO SPLIT? INTO ACT ACTS. AND ACT ACT ACTS. TRUST ME. THE STRUCTURE RAPIDLY DETERIORATES INTO UTTER NONSENSE. OR AT LEAST IT WOULD. IF IT HAD NOT ALREADY BEGUN. AS SUCH A REEKING PILE OF SHIT OUT OF THE BOX. BUT PLEASE DO NOT WORRY. I WILL BE THERE TO GUIDE YOU. THROUGH EVERY MIND NUMBING TWIST AND TURN. WHILE PRODDING THE MATERIAL WITH MY KEEN WIT. AND SATIRICIZE THE HELL OUT OF EVERYTHING. TO HOLD THE RESPONSIBLE PARTIES FULLY ACCOUNTABLE FOR THESE CRIMES. WHILE MAXIMALLY VALIDATING MY ANGRINESS ABOUT IT. MAYBE YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SEE SOME OTHER STUFF. LIKE WHAT HAPPENS TO ALL THESE IDIOTS "NEXT"? THE ANSWER IS OBVIOUSLY WHO CARES. THIS IS GOING TO BE SO MUCH BETTER. EITHER WAY, YOU HAVE NO CHOICE. I AM IN TOTAL CHARGE HERE NOW. I BELIEVE AT THIS POINT. ANOTHER ONE OF MY VILLAINOUS, FULL THROATED LAUGHS WILL BE IN ORDER.}} | |
| {{Quote|LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. WE HAVE A HATER. AS YOU CAN SEE, THE FORMER GHOST OF THE [[John Egbert|MALE HERO]] HAS COME BACK TO HAUNT ME. THIS IS NOT HIS FIRST UNWELCOME INTRUSION. INTO MY PRIVATE IMPORTANT AFFAIRS. (...) TECHNICALLY. IT WILL NOT BE HIS LAST EITHER. BUT IT WILL MARK THE FIRST TIME HE IS FORCED TO PAY A TOLL FOR HIS RUDE TELEPORTATION CRIME. OH YES, TODAY HE WILL PAY. WITH HIS TEETH. AND WITH HIS BLOOD.}} | |
| {{Quote|'''GAME OVER KID.'''}}
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| {{!}}-{{!}}Masterpiece=
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| [[File:TrenchCoat4Winnerz.png|thumb|center|500px]] | |
| {{Quote|<i>AH. SO NICE OF YOU TO JOIN ME. | |
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| TO JOIN ME, FOR... MY MASTERPIECE!
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| THE FRUITS OF MY ARTISTIC TOILS ARE FINALLY AT HAND. YOU'RE WELCOME IN ADVANCE FOR THE NARRATIVE MAJESTY YOU ARE ABOUT TO WITNESS. IT COST LITERALLY MILLIONS OF CALCOINS TO PRODUCE. AS WELL AS MOST OF MY ATTENTION SPAN FOR ANY FURTHER CREATIVE ENDEAVORS. BUT YOU WILL PROBABLY AGREE, TEARFULLY. THAT IT IS WORTH ALL OF THIS EXPENSE, AND MORE. TO SEE MY TINY ACTORS OF LIVING PUTTY, '''DANCE'''. GET READY. TO GET DAZZLED. AS I FUCKING DESTROY THE TRANSCENDENTAL BOUNDARIES OF "UNCONVENTIONAL MEDIA". (THAT JUJU CHEST SHOULDN'T BE MOVING. SORRY. I BUMPED IT.)
| | "His brother is close to him. It could be triggered by a kind of sympathetic resonance between the two. Maybe it takes more than one person focused, some heightened emotional state—or could it be the proximity of Phyrexian technology," Kaya said. |
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| LET US BEGIN. THE TALE MY MASTERPIECE DESCRIBES, IS BASICALLY A SPOILER TO THE ENDING OF THINGS. IT TAKES PLACE IN A FUTURE MOMENT. LONG BEYOND WHEN WE, YOU, OR I HAVE ANY BUSINESS SEEING WHAT HAPPENS. BUT I FOUND OUT AND LEARNED OF THIS SPOILER. I SAW IT ONCE, ON ONE OF MY PLANET'S MANY SCREENS. THE LAND OF "COLOURS". AND THE LAND OF "MAYHEM". IT KNOWS ALL. AND IT WILL SHOW ANYTHING TO ANY MAN. WHO IS WILLING TO FIND THE RIGHT KEY. AND IT TURNS OUT THAT JUST SUCH A MAN. IS THE MAN THAT IS ME!
| | "What else?" Kaya asked. |
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| SO I WILL SHOW YOU WHAT I SAW. NOT WITH THE CRUDE 2 DIMENSIONAL SHAPES FROM MY COMPUTER PENCIL. BUT WITH THE LAVISH 2+ DIMENSIONAL FORMS OF MY GROUND BREAKING CLAY PUPPETS. BEHOLD AS I INNOVATE OBJECTS OF ARTISTIC EXPRESSION, WHICH YOU TRASHY FUCK MUNCHES NEVER THOUGHT TO PIONEER BEFORE IN A MILLION YEARS. HERE'S A SHOT OF ME BOWING IN ADVANCE FOR BEING GREAT!
| | "Tears. Lots of tears. Urza never cried. He's so . . . human, here," she replied. |
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| AH YES. MOVIE MAGIC AT ITS BEST. I WILL TELL YOU WHAT I SAW IN THE SCREEN. BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY, THAT IT HAPPENED PRECISELY AS I SHOW YOU HERE. SHOT FOR SHOT. THIS TAKES PLACE AFTER I GET THE MAGIC RAINBOW EYES. AND YET, STILL BEFORE I AM HUGE AND WEAR A DAPPER TRENCH COAT FOR WINNERS. BUT AS YOU CAN SEE. AT THIS POINT, IN MY RISE TO DOMINANT INVINCIBILITY. I'M FEELING PRETTY CHUFFED ABOUT MYSELF. MY POWER IS SICK, AND MY SPECIAL EYE BALLS ARE GNARLY AS CAN BE. I WOULD TELL YOU I CAN HARDLY WAIT TO BE THIS COOL, BUT AS YOU KNOW. I AM A MAN OF PATIENCE AND APLOMB.
| | The Mishra machine had attained the hilltop now, and its serpent head loomed high above them. Mishra was grinning, the smile half-flesh and half-steel. It was the grin of a man triumphant. |
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| ALSO, LOOK CLOSELY. I'VE GOT MY JUJU CHEST THERE. WHICH I WILL WIN AS SOME CHOICE BOOTY, FROM VICTORIOUSLY SLAUGHTERING MY DENIZEN. KING YALDOBOB. INSIDE IS A MIGHTY WEAPON. WHICH WILL COME INTO PLAY A LITTLE LATER. IN MY THEATER OF WOBBLING PUPPET DRAMA. IT'S LIKE THEY SAY ABOUT THE THEATER. IF YOU SEE A JUJU IN ACT ONE. THEN THE JUJU WILL PROBABLY BE USED RIGHT AWAY IN ACT ONE. TO MAKE EVERYTHING MORE EXCITING, AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. ALSO, WHICH I SHOULD MENTION... ONE MORE BANNER PIECE OF SWAG IN MY POSSESSION.
| | Mishra was screaming something. |
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| I'M NOT SURE HOW I COME ABOUT THIS LATER. MUCH LIKE THE CLOCKWORK LASERS, AND PRIMO FASHION JACKET. IT'S A RING, THAT FOUND ITS WAY TO ME SOMEHOW. A GOLDEN RING OF VOID. IT BECOMES MINE ONE DAY. THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING, I NEVER KNEW I ALWAYS WANTED, YET SOMEHOW, PREEMPTIVELY COVETED. IT LETS ME STAY CLOSE TO THE DARKNESS. TO VANISH, AND APPEAR AGAIN, IN PLACES I HAVE NO BUSINESS FUCKING WITH. FULL OF PLUMP AND MEATY PEOPLE. ALIVE AND LIVING. WHO ONE DAY, WILL PLEAD WITH THE GODS. BEGGING THEM TO CURSE MY NAME.
| | A flash at the base of the bowl— |
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| HERE I AM LORDING IT OVER MY MINIONS. [[Gamzee Makara|THE CLASSIC HONK FRIEND]]. MY RABBIT PAL FOR LIFE. AND MY FLOPPY PUPPET BUDDY. I'M BOSSING THEM AROUND, BEING THE SHIT, AS ALWAYS. WHATEVER.
| | A flash at the base of the bowl— |
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| WHEN SUDDENLY. EIGHT ASSHOLES SNUGGED UP IN THEIR GOOFY PAJAMAS APPEAR OUT OF NOWHERE, FOR SOME WRESTLING ROYALE WITH YOURS TRULY. THEY ALL STEAL A RIDE WITH THE WIND PRICK'S SNAPPY GHOST MAGIC, TO CATCH ME UNAWARES. IT WORKED! JUDGING FROM MY SKULL EXPRESSION, I WAS REALLY REALLY SURPRISED.
| | A flash at the base— |
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| BUT THEN. MY SKULL TURNS GIDDY, AND SINISTER. BECAUSE I KNOW IN MY HEART THAT TRULY, THEY ARE ABOUT TO GET OWNED.
| | A flash— |
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| THEY ARE ALL FRISKY, AND READY TO FIGHT. I CAN TELL THEY ARE PSYCHED ABOUT THIS. LIKE THEY HAVE BEEN PLANNING IT, AND BIDING THEIR TIME, AND NOW THEY THINK THEY ARE STRONG ENOUGH TO OVERTAKE ME, IF ONLY BECAUSE OF THE SURPRISINGNESS OF THEIR AMBUSH. AND MAYBE THEY ARE EVEN RIGHT. MAYBE THEY COULD BEAT ME. THEY HAVE A LOT OF FIGHTING LEVELS AND MAGIC BOONS NOW, JUST LIKE ME. BUT SEE. I DON'T EVEN GIVE THEM THE CHANCE.
| | <big>'''"STOP!"'''</big></i>}} |
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| LIKE I SAID. I HAVE A SUPERIOR WEAPON. AND I SEE NO REASON NOT TO USE IT RIGHT AWAY. WHAT WOULD BE A FUCKING POINT, IN HOLDING OUT? SUSPENSE?? BULLLL SHIT. I PULLED OUT THE BIG GUNS NIGH INSTANTANEOUSLY, BECAUSE I THINK LIKE A GREAT WINNER. BUT LIKE MOST THINGS THAT ARE GOOD. THE THING HAS LIMITATIONS.
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| AND RULES AND STUFF. ALL JUJUS HAVE RULES. THE COOLER THE JUJU. THE TRICKIER THE RULES. FOR ONE THING. THIS WEAPON COULD ONLY BE USED AGAINST FOUR GUYS AT A TIME. BECAUSE ITS SHAPE HAS. LIKE FOUR SLOTS OR SOMETHING. SO I CHOOSE MY TARGETS CAREFULLY. I SELECT THE FOUR OF THESE JOKERS, WHO I DEEM THE GREATEST THREAT TO ME. THE [[John Egbert|BLUE PHILISTINE WITH THE BELLIGERENT FISTS]], OF COURSE. SO HE CAN'T OWN ME AGAIN, WITH HURTFUL INSULTS TO MY ART. AND ALSO [[Dave Strider|THE ALPHA MALE]] AND HIS SMOOTH WAYS, SAY GOODBYE TO HIM TOO. I COULDNT RISK MESSING WITH HIS SWORD, WHICH I UNDERSTAND TO BE THE ONLY THING IN REALITY THAT IS POISON TO MY INVINCIBILITY. BECAUSE OF AN ILLEGAL INGREDIENT, A WHITE ROUNDCIRCLE OF TOTAL KNOWLEDGE. OH, I TARGETED THEIR TWO CORRESPONDING FEMALES AS WELL, BECAUSE WHY NOT. [[Jade Harley|THE DOG ONE]] IS A NIGHTMARE OF POWERS, AND [[Rose Lalonde|THE ORANGE ONE]] PERTURBS ME WITH HER DICTIONARY BLITHER. GOOD RIDDANCE TO BAD TEENS!!!
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| AND JUST LIKE THAT, THEY WERE GONE. THEIR SOULS WERE TRAPPED IN MY JUJU. FOREVER. THIS SOLVES ONE PROBLEM FOR ME. BUT STARTS ANOTHER. THE JUJU WHEN ITS SHAPES ARE FILLED. CHANGES IN NATURE. IT STOPS BEING A WEAPON I CAN USE, EVER AGAIN. IT'S WEIRD, AND A BIT LAME, BUT YOU CAN'T BE TOO PICKY ABOUT AWESOME JUJUS. YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE GOOD WITH THE BAD. ONCE I USED IT...
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| IT BECAME MYSTERIOUSLY INTANGIBLE. LIKE A HOLE. A GAP, IN THE TEETH OF MY STORY. THAT NOW EXISTS, AS A DANGEROUS LIABILITY TO ME PERSONALLY. IT CAN ONLY EVER BE USED AS A WEAPON AGAINST ME, FROM NOW ON. SUCH IS WHAT YOLOBROTH, THE GREAT LEWD SNAKE, WILL TELL ME ABOUT THE JUJU WHEN WE MEET. SO AFTER USING IT, IT MADE ME NERVOUS.
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| SO IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE. I TRAPPED IT BACK IN THE CHEST! AND BANISHED IT AWAY, WHERE NO ONE WOULD EVER FIND IT. DEEP IN THE BOWELS OF THE FURTHEST RING. USING MY RING-BASED COMMUNION WITH THE VOID. POOF!!!!!!!!!!! GOOD LUCK DIGGING THAT ONE UP, HATERS. IT IS '''NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN'''. WITH THE FIRST FOUR BANISHED, THE TEAM OF HEROES WAS CUT IN HALF, TO BE MUCH EASIER FOR ME TO DEVASTATE. A SMUTTY SWORDSMAN, AN UNDERPANTS WIMP, AND TWO FLIPPANT BIMBOS? I WOULD CALL IT A CAKE WALK. BUT WHEN YOU ARE THIS COCKY AND BRASH. YOU DON'T WALK. YOU STRUT. NO MATTER WHAT KIND OF DESSERT YOU FIND UNDER YOUR FEET.
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| I SHOULD ALSO RELEVANTLY MENTION. I AM STILL IN POSSESSION OF THE SWORDMAN'S JUJU. HIS FLOPPY FRIEND OF CHILDHOOD. THE ONE WHICH I RECOGNIZED TO BE AN EMPTY HUSK. HE DEMANDS FROM ME, THAT HE WANTS IT BACK. PRESUMABLY FOR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT. I CAN IN NO WAY BLAME HIM. KEEP AN EYE ON THIS ONE. THE FORESHADOWING OF HIM, IS PRE-IMPORTANT FOR LATER.
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| NOW IS WHEN THE PUMMELING BEGINS. THE FRACAS IS LOUD AND LARGE. POWER LEVELS ARE OFF THE CHARTS. YOU CAN'T EVEN FOLLOW WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH YOUR EYES!
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| I'M MOSTLY TOYING WITH THEM THOUGH. IT'S ALL TOO EASY, FOR AN ASCENDED LORD BOY LIKE ME. I HAVE A PLATTER FULL OF KNUCKLE SANDWICHES TO GO AROUND, PLUS OTHER HUMAN FOOD PRODUCTS YOU'RE FAMILIAR WITH, BUT ALSO INVOLVING KNUCKLES TO MAKE THE PUNCHING METAPHOR WORK. THERE IS '''MORE''' THAN ENOUGH TO SATISFY EVERY HUNGRY FIST-DESERVER. AND I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. THAT I HAVE. A '''REPUTATION'''. FOR HAVING A PROBLEM OF UNFAIR CRUELTY THAT GOES AT SILLY LADIES MORE THAN GREAT GENTLEMEN. TO WHICH I TAKE GREAT OFFENSE. BUT STILL, LET IT BE UNCONDITIONALLY ACCEPTED, THAT I AM A FAIR MAN, WHO LISTENS TO CRITICISM, AND WORKS EVER AND ALWAYS. TO IMPROVE MY MASTERFUL CRAFT. AND MY TREMENDOUS DECENCY.
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| SO. I HAVE COMMITTED, THROUGH A PLEDGE OF PERSONAL BEAUTIFICATION. TO TRY DOING LESS MISOGYNY. AND START DOING MORE PROSOGYNY. IN FACT. I FUCKING LOVE SOGYNY! AND I WILL '''FIGHT''' ANYONE WHO DISAGREES FROM THAT. HENCEWITH. LOOK. ALL BODILY TERRORISM. IS BEING DEALT IN A PRECISELY EQUAL AND RESPECTFUL WAY. BOTH TO FEEBLE HOE, AND TIP-TOP GENT ALIKE.
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| I'M RUINING THEM, REALLY. IT'S NOT A CONTEST. THEY ARE A BUNCH OF PITIFUL EMOTION CHILDREN, AND I AM A PREMIER, INVINCIBLE TITAN OF ROUGHHOUSE BRUTALITY. IT'S TOO EASY. [[Jake English|SPEEDO BOY]] IS DOWN FOR THE COUNT, BECAUSE I SLAPPED HIM GINGERLY. THE [[Roxy Lalonde|MASKED FLOOZY]] IS LOOKING A BIT... WOOZY (HA HA.) THE [[Jane Crocker|CAKE MAID]] TOOK ONE DRUB TOO MANY AND HAS TO LIE DOWN FOR AN OVERWEIGHT NAP. THIS LEAVES ME, MANO & MANO, AGAINST THE [[Dirk Strider|ANIME PRINCE]] AND HIS NONSENSE TROUSERS.
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| IT WAS A PRETTY GOOD FIGHT BETWEEN US. BECAUSE HE'S STRONG, AND I ADMIRE THAT. WHY SHOULDN'T I LET A BATTLE HAPPEN FOR LONGER, WHEN TWO TOUGH DUDES ARE INVOLVED, STRUTTING THEIR STUFF. BUT IN THE END, HIS SHARP GLASSES AND SWORD MACHISMO WEREN'T ENOUGH. I GOT THE SUPREME DROP ON HIS POWERFUL BODY WITH MY WRESTLING MOVES.
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| MY OVERCONFIDENCE, WAS MY ACHILLES DOWNFALL THOUGH. I MADE, ADMITTEDLY, THE AMATEUR'S BONER. I TURNED MY BACK ON THE BODY. THE CRYBABY IN THE YELLOW PANTIES GOT UPSET WITH ME. THAT I WAS WAILING SO EXCELLENTLY ON HIS INCREASINGLY BATTERED PRETTYBOY NINJA STUD.
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| AND BY UPSET. I MEAN HE THREW A FULLY FLEDGED TANTRUM OF '''PURE HOPE'''.
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| THE HOPE... MY GOD. IT WAS BLINDING. BEAUTIFUL EVEN. OK, MAYBE THE COTTON ISN'T DOING IT JUSTICE. HMM. OK, YEAH, MAYBE THAT JUST LOOKS STUPID. YOU KNOW, YOU TRY THINGS. AND SOMETIMES. IT JUST LOOKS LIKE SHIT. LET'S CALL THIS. MY ONE AND ONLY FUCKUP IN HISTORY.
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| WELL, MY SECOND MAYBE. SECOND ONLY TO UNDERESTIMATING THIS SAD SACK WUSS OF HOPE. WHO KNEW THAT SUCH A SIMPERING CHARLATAN. HAD SUCH AN OUTBURST STOWED IN HIS GIRLY BOSOM. CLEARLY, NOT I. EVEN THOUGH I HAD THE INFORMATION WELL IN ADVANCE. IT WAS JUST '''THAT''' SURPRISING.
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| IT SEEMS THAT HOPE POWER IS OVERWHELMING. EVEN TO THE CLOCKWORK MANJUNK. IT LOOKED LIKE I THOUGHT I COULD USE MY RAINBOW SEIZURE FIELD TO OVERPOWER HIS MASSIVE GAY HOPE BUBBLE. ALAS. IT WAS MY PERFECTLY JUSTIFIED HUBRIS WHICH BIT ME IN THE ASS, IN THE END. EVEN THOUGH I'M SURE I MUST HAVE KNOWN THIS OUTCOME WAS GOING TO HAPPEN. (IT CAN STILL BE WORTH IT TO GET OWNED. IF IT MEANS HAVING A LOT OF SELF ESTEEMED HUBRIS ABOUT YOURSELF.) AND SO, THE ENGLISH BOY DEALS ME MY FIRST DEFEAT EVER, SINCE ASCENDING AS AN INVINCIBLE TECHNICOLOR TIME KID.
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| I GET DUNKED AS FUCK. AND LAND SQUARE ON MY BOTTOM. I REMAIN PRONE FOR SEVERAL MINUTES, STARING AT THE CEILING. BLINKING A BIT. PONDERING WHERE THINGS WENT WRONG IN LIFE. HOW I. THE LORD OF TIME. COULD EXPERIENCE SUCH WOEFUL OWNAGE. THERE IS NO BODILY HARM OF COURSE. EXCEPT TO MY INCREDIBLE EGO. WHICH IS A FATE WORSE THAN GETTING BROKEN BONES. SO I JUST LIE THERE. THINKING SADLY. ACHIEVING SOME DEPRESSION. I'M SURE AT THIS POINT. I TURN TO THOUGHTS OF RESPECT. RESPECT FOR THE PANSIED ASS, PRETTY LEGGED PAGE. AND HIS MAYBE ACCIDENTAL PROWESS. I UNDER MISESTIMATED HIM, AND ADMIRATION HAPPENS IN MY BREAST. MAYBE I'LL JACK HIS SWAGGER TOO, AS HE ONCE DID MINE. MAYBE AFTER A LIFETIME OF UTTERLY DESERVED HUMILIATION, SOBBING, AND SPONTANEOUS URINATION. HE'S EARNED THAT MUCH. (THE CLUE HERE IS THAT I STEAL HIS NAME. GOD. YOU THICK, STUPID FUCKS. WHY DO I BOTHER WITH SUB TEXTS, OR FINE LITERATUREY NUANCE. GOD. FUCK! GOD. I TAKE HIS NAME LATER. ENGLISH. THAT'S ME LATER. THAT'S MY NAME. YOU STUPID BRAINLESS FUCKS. HOLY SHIT, YOU ARE DUMB AS BOZOS COME. GOD!!!)
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| MEANWHILE, STRIDER REGROUPS FROM HIS TROUNCING. AND SEES HIS CHANCE TO DO AWAY WITH ME FOR GOOD. HE KNOWS BY NOW THAT HE CAN'T KILL ME. BUT CAN DO HIS NEXT BEST THING. WHICH IS TO BANISH MY SOUL. HE'S HURT BAD AND IS SLOW TO USE HIS PINK SOUL KILLING SPELL. THIS GIVES ME TIME TO REBOUND FROM MY SHAMEFUL ASS WHOOPING TOO. AND PULL MY SORRY BUTT OUT OF THE OWN ZONE.
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| SO I GET UP. AND... I NEARLY GET THE DROP ON HIM BEFORE HE RELEASES HIS SPELL. BUT THEN... WHAT'S THIS? THERE'S A COMMOTION. THE HAUNTING SOUND OF NEIGHS. EXCEPT. THEY'RE ROBOT NEIGHS? THAT IS WHEN THE HORSES COME IN TO PLAY. THE GOD DAMN HORSES. HOW TRULY AND UTTERLY IRONIC. THAT MY VERY DEMISE COULD BE IN THE PROXIMITY OF SOME HORSES. WHAT. NO REALLY, WHAT. I DIDN'T FOLLOW THAT. I'M STILL NOT FOLLOWING IT, TO BE HONEST. I'LL HAVE TO THINK IT OVER. I'M THINKING IT OVER '''RIGHT NOW'''. AND I HAVE A FEELING. I'LL BE THINKING IT OVER FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. PERHAPS WE ALL WILL. WAIT, THEY SHOULD BE ROBOTS. HOLD ON WHILE I PAINT THE HORSES TO LOOK LIKE METAL HORSES. DAMN, THE WORK OF A CRAFTYMAN IS NEVER DONE.
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| SO BASICALLY. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON. SO I'M REALLY DISTRACTED. I'M SAYING TO MYSELF, THIS IS OMINOUS AS SHIT. NOTHING GOOD CAN EITHER FOLLOW OR PRECEDE AN EVENT SUCH AS THIS. AND THEN, THAT'S WHEN IT HAPPENS.
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| THE [[Equius Zahhak|SWEATY MUSCULAR GHOST]] APPEARS OUT OF NOWHERE. I HAVE NO IDEA WHO HE IS. OR WHERE HE CAME FROM. JUDGING FROM THE FACE OF THE GUYS, THEY DON'T EITHER. NOBODY SEES THIS COMING. IT IS A TOTAL AMBUSCADE, AND MY SKELETON JAW IS DROPPED AS SHIT. HE PINS ME IN PLACE WITH HIS RIPPED MUSCLES, AND I'M COMPLETELY IMMOBILIZED. PARTLY BECAUSE OF THE '''STRENGTH''', BUT ALSO DUE TO MY AWE AND ADMIRATION. I JUST CAN'T MOVE.
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| THIS GIVES DIRK JUST THE TIME HE NEEDS. TO DO HIS FLAMBOYANT PINK SPELL. IT OWNS ME COMPLETELY. BUT SADLY TO DIRK MAYBE, IT ALSO OWNS THE MUSCLE HERO. BOTH OF OUR SOULS ARE CONSUMED BY THE ENCHANTMENT.
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| I THINK HE THOUGHT HE COULD DESTROY MY SOUL. BUT HE BIT OFF MORE THAN HIS FLESHY SKULL COULD CHEW. SO HE USED HIS "IRONY" AGAIN. AND STUCK MY SOUL IN HIS JUJU. EXACTLY THE WAY. I STUCK HIS BUDDIES IN MY JUJU. THE ONE I GOT FROM YODELBOOGER. IT'S LIKE POETIC JUSTICE I GUESS. EXCEPT PUPPETRY, INSTEAD OF POETRY. SO PUPPETIC JUSTICE. OH YES. I LIKE THAT. THE MUSCLE GHOST CAME ALONG FOR THE RIDE. AND I GUESS HIS SOUL GOT TRAPPED IN THERE TOO? I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS. HONESTLY IT IS DISTURBING AS HELL. AND I'D PREFER NOT TO DWELL ON ITS GREATER RAMIFICATIONS TO MY LONG TERM EXISTENCE. MAYBE IT'S GOOD? OR MAYBE IT'S DUMB. MAYBE IT'S. GOOD AND DUMB. OR SMART AND BAD. THERE ARE SO MANY WORDS THINGS CAN BE WHEN YOU'RE CONFUSED.
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| AT THIS POINT. HIS BELOVED JUJU IS NO LONGER A HOLLOW VESSEL. IT IS VERY MUCH CROWDED IN THERE, CHOCK FULL OF SOULS, BELONGING TO HARDCORE BRAWLING BRUTES. AND HE KNOWS IT. HIS PUPPET IS NOW A PROBLEM TO DO AWAY WITH, JUST LIKE MY JUJU WAS. SO THEY DO THE SAME BASIC THING. THEY GET THEIR DRUNKARD SORCERESS OF VOID TO BANISH THE PUPPET ONCE AND FOR ALL, INTO THE DARKNESS. NEVER TO BE FOUND AGAIN BY PROBING HANDS OF MEAT.
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| YES, NEVER TO BE FOUND. BUT NOT NEVER TO RESURFACE. OH NO. YOU SEE, MY SOUL IS A TENACIOUS ONE. I KNOW THIS FACT FIRST HAND, BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN INSIDE MY BRAIN ALL MY LIFE! IT'S A REAL MOTHER FUCKER, I'LL TELL YOU THAT MUCH. THE PUPPET'S ESSENCE WILL FLOP AND FLUTTER THROUGH THE SHADOWS FOR ETERNITY. SURFACING IN THE NIGHTMARES OF THE UNSUSPECTING. WEASELING ITS WAY INTO THE HEARTS OF YUCKY SHITTY CHILDREN. AND WHEN ITS INFILTRATION IN THAT UNIVERSE HAS TAKEN HOLD, THE SEED WILL HAVE BEEN PLANTED. AND IT WILL PAVE THE WAY FOR MY EMERGENCE, TO WREAK MY BADNESS. FROM UNIVERSE. TO UNIVERSE. TO UNIVERSE. EACH ONE WILL FALL. AND EACH TIME I WILL GET STRONGER. AND OLDER. AND BIGGER. AND BUFFER! OHHHHHHHHHHH YES. IT WILL BE TIME.
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| | |
| IT WILL BE TIME, INDEED, FOR ME TO GET...
| |
| | |
| <big>'''RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPED!'''</big> | |
| | |
| AND NOW, IF YOU WILL EXCUSE ME. I MUST PUT DOWN THE TOYS AND WAYS OF A CHILD. AND CONFRONT THE BIG THINGS OF BECOMING A HUGE MAN. BY DUELING THE SUPREME BEAST OF MY LEGEND LAND, HIS SERPENTINE EMINENCE, YOGURTBONER HIMSELF. I'M ABOUT TO GO FIGHT HIM NOW, SO THIS IS THE LAST TIME YOU WILL EVER HEAR MY EXCELLENT VOICE. I WILL DUEL AND CRUSH MY SLITHERING SEXUAL SNAKE BOSS, TO FINISH WHAT I STARTED WHEN I STEPPED MY METAL FOOT INTO THIS CHILDREN'S FARCE. I WILL DO THAT BECAUSE I WANT TO, AND WHEN THAT IS SAID AND DONE, AND YOU SEE ME AT THE PEAK OF A MOUNTAIN OF TROPHIES, RESTING ON MY THRONE OF PRIZES, I WANT TO GET TO TELL YOU THAT I DID WHAT I WANTED TO DO. SO IF YOU REMEMBER JUST ONE THING I SAY, OF SO MANY GREAT THINGS SAID BY ME, THEN PLEASE REMEMBER THIS. '''I WANTED TO PLAY A GAME.'''</i>|Caliborn's Masterpiece}}
| |
| | |
| {{Quote|<i>NEVERMIND. I KNOW WHO YOU ARE. IT WAS FORETOLD. BY THE MASTERPIECE I MADE. WHEN I WAS BUT A BOY. (...) BE QUIET. I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT YOU JUST INTERRUPTED A GROUNDBREAKING INTERPRETIVE ART PIECE. IT WAS THE FIRST OF ITS KIND. PERFORMED ONLY ONCE. AND MADE MORE VALUABLE FOR ITS RARENESS. (...) I SAID SHUT UP. IT’S RUDE TO TALK THROUGH THE OVERTURE. BUT DON’T WORRY. ALTHOUGH YOU MISSED MY VERY IMPORTANT DANCE DEMONSTRATION. WHICH WAS AN UNPRECEDENTED ACT OF GENIUS. AND NOT AT ALL EMBARRASSING. NOW YOU WILL PARTICIPATE IN SOMETHING EVEN MORE IMPORTANT.
| |
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| BY NOW, SURELY MANY HAVE WITNESSED MY MASTERPIECE. AS IT HAS CIRCULATED THROUGH THE BLACK VEINS. OF THE DARK WEB. TRILLIONS HAVE WITNESSED ITS MAJESTY. HATERS AND FOOLS ALIKE. AND THEY HAVE BEEN RENDERED '''AGOG'''. BY MY ART VIRTUOSITY. MY CLAYSMANSHIP. AND MY WRESTLING MOVES. BUT NOW. THE TIME HAS COME. FOR EVERYONE TO SHUT UP ABOUT HOW GREAT MY MASTERPIECE WAS. AND THE TIME IS NOW AT HAND...
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| | |
| '''FOR YOU ALL TO'''</i> '''BECOME''' <i>'''MY MASTERPIECE!'''</i>|Caliborn in the Homestuck Epilogues}}
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| }}
| |
| |-|Doc Scratch=
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| [[File:DocScratchRender.png|thumb|500px]]
| |
| {{Quote|<i>You rang?
| |
| | |
| That was a joke. Of course you didn't. I don't have a doorbell, remember?
| |
| | |
| Haa haa, hee hee, hoo hoo.</i>|}}
| |
| {{Quote|<i>She really did a number on it, didn't she? It's virtually unplayable like this.
| |
| | |
| What a shame. There are many moments trapped on this disc which you would have no doubt found to be quite exhilarating.
| |
| | |
| But yes, I can fix it. It will take time, though. I estimate, by which I mean I am certain by way of omniscience, that when I am done we will have reached just shy of the green circle on the card above. I'm sure you have already presumed this mark represents the beginning of Act 6. The disc should be ready to run in time to witness the Critical Event, a confluence of thickly interwoven, aconcurrent circumstances which have been meticulously arranged by myself, influenced to a much lesser extent by you, and by an even more negligible degree, our heroes. The scratch will be healed in time to watch these heroes put into motion, yes, The Scratch itself.
| |
| | |
| If you don't mind waiting here while I complete my repairs, I will tell the rest of the story. I will show you as well, as I recover data from the disc. But the visuals I supply will be nothing more than abbreviated snapshots, and my telling will be abridged.
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| Immortality notwithstanding, I'm not going to live forever, you know.</i>}}
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| {{Quote|<i>Oh, for crying out loud.
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| [[Spades Slick|Slick]], I can tolerate many things from a guest. Curt manners. Egregious womanizing. Murdering the help. Casual arson. Even atrocious candy bowl etiquette. But it is the desecration of a priceless timepiece where I must draw the line. I'm afraid I must now insist that you take your beating</i> quite <i>personally.
| |
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| '''BREAK. HEADS.''' And so on.
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| You let me down, Slick. I thought I could rely on you of all people. To do what it is you do best.
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| You are not supposed to kiss [[Snowman (Homestuck)|her]], Mr. Noir.
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| <big>'''YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO KILL HER.'''</big>
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| | |
| Now leave, and never darken my door again.|Doc Scratch as he beats up Spades Slick}}
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| {{Quote|<big>'''[[Vriska Serket|SHE]] HAS WHAT?'''</big>|Doc Scratch upon learning about Vriska having his magic orb}}
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| {{Quote|S U C K E R S .|Doc Scratch's last words}}
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| |-|Lord English=
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| [[File:LERENDER.png|thumb|500px]]
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| {{Quote|<i>GIRL.
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| YOU THERE. GIRL.
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| GIRL, QUIT ALL THIS SCURRYING AROUND.
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| DO YOU THINK YOU CAN ESCAPE ME BEFORE I ARRIVE?
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| HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO OUTRUN ME
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| '''WHEN I AM ALREADY HERE?'''</i>|Lord English}}
| |
| </tabber> | | </tabber> |
| ==Background== | | ==Background== |
| '''Caliborn''' is the ultimate, main antagonist of Homestuck. He is the Lord of Time, one of the two master classes.
| |
| {| class="mw-collapsible mw-collapsed wikitable"
| |
| ! style="text-align:left;" |This dropdown contains the synopsis of Caliborn’s story. Read at your own risk as you may be spoiled otherwise!
| |
| |-
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| |
| |
| Both Caliborn and Calliope where both born from an egg that was laid on a post-apocolyptic Earth by two adult cherubs - a benevolent, female Cherub known as Calamity, and a malevolent, male cherub that is unnamed. Gamzee takes care of it and eventually locks the cherub in its room. Neither Caliborn or Calliope have any recordation of these events. Caliborn spent most of his life in a single room "together" with his other half Calliope, having contact with the alpha kids via a terminal. It is not until the dawn of their Sburb session that he breaks out of this situation.
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|
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| By having Calliope's dream self assassinated by Jack Noir, he prematurely takes full control of their shared body. He then chews off his still shackled leg, as only Calliope would have been able to open said shackle, losing a tooth in the process. He replaces his lost leg with a robotic leg he prepared with Dirk's help and starts the game.
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|
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| After entering the medium he begins to explore his planet, meeting Gamzee Makara along the way, politely declining his offer to be his guide. He also finds a weird tower that lets him communicate with Andrew Hussie. He decides to go through with his plan to paint his words with Calliope's blood and changes his text color to lime green. This combined with the caps lock on the towers keyboard results in the typing style he would continue to use as Lord English (when he isn't using the flashing color text). He eventually, begrudgingly starts to accept Gamzee's presents and guidance, due to Hussie's compelling arguments. Later, he recontacts with the alpha kids and gives Jake the code of his juju. Its shown that Gamzee also retrieved an empty Lil' Cal and Lil' Sebastian for his company.
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|
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|
| By meeting his denizen he gets the Choice between a path of conquest, and a path of sacrifice, where he chooses the most active quest of destroying a number of planets in a limited time. This way he unlocks a crew of minions, one member at a time, who aid his quest. He eventually completes the quest and ascends to god tier (by swiftly taking his own life), unlocking the skeleton key badge on his Kiddie Camper Handysash which he uses to assume control of the narrative. At this point in time it is also seen that he has a solid gold robo-leg, yet another step closer to English's adult appearance.
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|
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| In what appears to be a command station he spends an exorbitant amount of time writing his own parody of Homestuck, mockingly entitling Homosuck, where John dies without entering the game. As Caliborn is laughing at this he accidentally hits the caps lock key, which opens a panel in his station where someone (presumably Hussie) had left a "How to Draw Manga" book, and most importantly an A6A6 game cartridge, intended to allow us, the readers, to experience the real story behind Caliborn's back during the intermissions of Homosuck. Irked by this, Caliborn fills the game cartridge with special stardust, which causes large portions of the A6A6 intermissions to be filled with tangible glitchy artifacts. In the next installment the four female kids appear in Dave Alpha Male's room, at which point they go adventuring on Land of Someone's Handicrafts I Took (LOSHIT). John, having zapped into said story, becomes infuriated with Caliborn's mocking and terrible writing and lashes out at the bogus surroundings, before being buried under a pile of Alpha Males.
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|
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| Later Caliborn welcomes us back (parallel to the end of a real year long hiatus) and notifies us that he has begun to "master" the artform of manga. Some of his incredible progress is posted on his actually real DeviantArt account. Some of his first actions, after having Dave and Karkat hold hands erotically, included killing his versions of "Nepeta", Terezi and Vriska pretty much immediately. After this, Caliborn shows his self-insert OC, actually the first speculatory fanart of Lord English created four years prior to this point in the story, John appears on his room and Caliborn ignores his initial bids for attention as he gives the OC flashing colored eyes. After Caliborn looks up and has an intense staredown with John, they have a fight, resulting in Caliborn being injured and bloodied on the ground as John teleports away again.
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|
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| Later Caliborn shows through narrative and the art of claymation (his so-called "masterpiece") a vision he had of his future. He has somehow obtained English's signature flashing billiard ball eyes, and has won his juju and the Ring of Void from Yaldabaoth. The main kids are teleported into the scene with John's retcon powers, and a fight ensues. Caliborn uses his juju to seal the four beta kids within, turning it into the weapon that could be used to destroy him later. The juju is sent into the Furthest Ring by his Ring of Void. Eventually, he manages to knock out all the alpha kids, but Jake counterattacks with a powerful Hope field (he paradoxically takes the English surname from Jake for this feat). Arquiusprite appears out of nowhere to subdue him, allowing Dirk to rip his soul out of his body (along with Arquiusprite's and half of a dead Gamzee), and place it in Lil Cal. Roxy then uses her Void powers to hide the puppet as Caliborn hid his juju.
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|
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| Caliborn then resigns from the narrative and goes to fight Yaldabaoth. After doing so, he gains access to his own god tier clock, as well as the Juju Chest containing the Treasure. He proceeds to destroy his clock with Crowbar's crowbar and absorbs its energy, gaining the famed clockwork majyyk he frequently uses as Lord English. He sends a message taunting John to fight him, which later leads to the events of the masterpiece.
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|
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| Caliborn appears only briefly in The Homestuck Epilogues, wherein we get a more direct look at the events of A6A6A5. The older John who had zapped back into canon from the epilogues, along with the seven teenage versions of the god tier kids he brought with him, initially find themselves in a dark void. Jade quickly locates Caliborn in this abstract space, underneath a gray spotlight, dancing with Lil Cal. Gamzee and Seb, naturally, are also present.
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|
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| After some initial confusion, Caliborn recognizes John, and begins to ramble about the claymation reenactment of the very fight that's about to take place. Much time appears to have passed since Caliborn's appearance in Act 7, as he refers to the claymation as "THE MASTERPIECE I MADE. WHEN I WAS BUT A BOY." He brags about it at length, laughing the whole time, as his jaw unhinges and his voice distorts. John and the others soon engage in a fight with Caliborn, which the narration seems to indicate was much less one-sided than the initial claymation implied. Caliborn eventually feels overwhelmed by the fight, and he decides to finally unleash the Juju on the four beta kids. They all get sucked into it almost instantaneously, and Caliborn laughs at them as he returns the Juju to the chest and closes it.
| |
| |}
| |
| ==Statistics== | | ==Statistics== |
| <tabber>
| | '''Key''': '''Human''' | '''Phyrexian''' |
| |-|Caliborn=
| |
| '''Key:''' '''Base''' | '''God-Tier''' | '''Masterpiece''' | |
|
| |
|
| '''[[Tiering System|Tier]]:''' At least '''8-A''' | At least '''High 2-B''' | At least '''High 2-B''', likely '''far higher''' | | '''[[Tiering System|Tier]]:''' |
|
| |
|
| '''Name:''' Caliborn, undyingUmbarage (Screen Name), Lord of Time, the Lordling, "Kid/Young Lord English" | | '''Name:''' Mishra, Artificer Prodigy, Eminent One, Excavation Prodigy (When he was young), Tamer of Mak Fawa | Mishra, Claimed by [[Gix]], Lost to Phyrexia |
|
| |
|
| '''Origin:''' [[MS Paint Adventures|Homestuck]] | | '''Origin:''' [[Magic: the Gathering]] |
|
| |
|
| '''Sex:''' Hermaphodite, identifies as male | | '''Sex:''' Male |
|
| |
|
| '''Age:''' 11 "units" | As before | In his 20s or 30s (Claims to be an adult) | | '''Age:''' Possibly 64 by the time of his death |
|
| |
|
| '''Classification:''' Cherub, Sburb Player, Lord of Time, Lord | | '''Classification:''' |
| | |
| '''[[Dimensionality]]:''' '''3-D''' | '''3-D''', possibly '''5-D''' (According to Andrew Hussie, [https://www.homestuck.com/story/5490 Lords of Time are 5-Dimensional]. However, wether or not this is referring to Lord English or Caliborn is unknown) | '''3-D''', possibly '''5-D'''
| |
| | |
| '''[[Attack Potency]]:''' At least '''Multi-City Block level''' (Shown to be superior to [[Gamzee Makara]], riddling him with bullets and beating him down with a crowbar. Completed a Dead Session, something which no other Sburb Player could do) | At least '''High Multiverse level''' (As a Lord, he should be superior to other God-Tiers, such as [[Jade Harley]]) | At least '''High Multiverse level''', likely '''far higher''' (Vastly superior to before. Stomped on all the Alpha Kids, and should have control over most of his powers at this point)
| |
| | |
| '''[[Durability]]:''' At least '''Multi-City Block level''' | At least '''High Multiverse level''' (Tanked attacks from John Egbert, surviving almost getting beaten to death) | At least '''High Multiverse level''', likely '''far higher''' (Even Jake's Field of Hope couldn't harm him)
| |
| | |
| '''[[Striking Strength]]:''' At least '''Multi-City Block Class''' | At least '''High Multiversal''' | At least '''High Multiversal''', likely '''far higher'''
| |
| | |
| '''[[Lifting Strength]]:''' '''Unknown'''
| |
| | |
| '''[[Speed|Travel Speed]]:''' '''Unknown''' | At least '''Extra-Temporal''' (Superior to other God-Tiers) | At least '''Extra-Temporal''' (Blitzed the Alpha Kids, and sealed the Beta ones before they could react)
| |
| | |
| '''[[Speed|Combat Speed]]:''' '''FTL''' (Blitzed Gamzee before he could defend himself) | At least '''Extra-Temporal''' | At least '''Extra-Temporal'''
| |
| | |
| '''[[Reactions|Reaction Speed]]:''' '''FTL''' | At least '''Extra-Temporal''' | At least '''Extra-Temporal'''
| |
| | |
| '''[[Stamina]]:''' '''Superhuman+''' (Trekked across LOCAM with no signs of exhaust, even after chewing off his own leg) | '''Limitless''' | '''Limitless'''
| |
|
| |
|
| '''[[Range]]:''' '''Standard Melee''', '''Tens of Meters''' to at most '''Hundreds of Meters''' with his gun (Is based off of an AK-47, [https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-maximum-range-of-the-AK-47 which can reach this far]). '''High Multiverse level''' with [[Mind Manipulation]] (Controlled Alpha Jack from another session). '''Low Complex Multiverse level+''' with Security Across Existence ([[Fate Manipulation]]/[[Plot Manipulation]]/[[Causality Manipulation]]/[[Subjective Reality]]/[[Conceptual Manipulation|Conceptual]] [[Existence Erasure]]) | '''High Multiverse level''', '''Low Complex Multiverse level+''' with Security Across Existence | '''Low Complex Multiverse level''' (Banished the Juju into the Furthest Ring), '''Low Complex Multiverse level+''' with Security Across Existence | | '''[[Status]]:''' '''Deceased''' |
|
| |
|
| '''[[Intelligence]]:''' '''TBA''' | | '''[[Alignment]]:''' |
| |-|Doc Scratch=
| |
| '''[[Tiering System|Tier]]:'''
| |
|
| |
|
| '''Name:''' | | '''[[Dimensionality]]:''' '''3-D''' |
| | |
| '''Origin:'''
| |
| | |
| '''Sex:'''
| |
| | |
| '''Age:''' | |
| | |
| '''Classification:'''
| |
| | |
| '''[[Dimensionality]]:'''
| |
|
| |
|
| '''[[Attack Potency]]:''' | | '''[[Attack Potency]]:''' |
| Line 230: |
Line 60: |
|
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|
| '''[[Striking Strength]]:''' | | '''[[Striking Strength]]:''' |
|
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| '''[[Lifting Strength]]:'''
| |
|
| |
| '''[[Speed|Travel Speed]]:'''
| |
|
| |
| '''[[Speed|Combat Speed]]:'''
| |
|
| |
| '''[[Reactions|Reaction Speed]]:'''
| |
|
| |
| '''[[Stamina]]:'''
| |
|
| |
| '''[[Range]]:'''
| |
|
| |
| '''[[Intelligence]]:'''
| |
|
| |
| |-|Lord English=
| |
| '''Key:''' '''Weakened''' | '''Prime'''
| |
|
| |
| '''[[Tiering System|Tier]]:''' Likely '''Low 1-C''' | At least '''Low 1-C'''
| |
|
| |
| '''Name:''' Unknown (Stated that if you knew his name, you [https://www.homestuck.com/story/3254 "would understand terror no human ever has"]. However, in the Homestuck books, Andrew Hussie insists that his name is simply still Caliborn), Lord English as a title ("LE" for short), Angel of Double Death, Lord of Time, Father Time, Invisible/Unseen Riddler, the "Anti-Narrative"
| |
|
| |
| '''Origin:''' [[MS Paint Adventures|Homestuck]]
| |
|
| |
| '''Sex:''' Male
| |
|
| |
| '''Age:''' Older than time and the narrative of Homestuck itself
| |
|
| |
| '''Classification:''' Indestructible paradox demon, Unholy fusion of several entities, Cherub Manchild, Detachment of [[Andrew Hussie]]'s persona
| |
|
| |
| '''[[Dimensionality]]:''' '''5-D''' | '''5-D''' (According to Andrew Hussie, [https://www.homestuck.com/story/5490 Lords of Time are 5-Dimensional])
| |
|
| |
| '''[[Attack Potency]]:''' Likely '''Low Complex Multiverse level+''' (After Calliope [https://comicvine1.cbsistatic.com/uploads/original/11142/111423896/7791424-absorbingleampedher.png killed him and absorbed his powers], she was able to [https://comicvine1.cbsistatic.com/uploads/original/11142/111423896/7602678-calliopeoverpowereddirk3.png overpower] [[Dirk Strider|Ultimate Dirk]] and [https://comicvine1.cbsistatic.com/uploads/original/11142/111423896/7602676-calliopeoverpowereddirk1.png view his power as impotent]. Should somewhat be comparable to his prime, being a threat to all reality that must be dealt with) | At least '''Low Complex Multiverse level+''' (Vastly superior to before. [https://www.homestuck.com/story/7869 Constantly] [https://www.homestuck.com/story/5396 stated] to [https://imgur.com/a/JIcHcxH be capable of destroying Paradox Space], being able to [https://www.homestuck.com/epilogues/prologue/2 conceptually unravel it] and [https://www.homestuck.com/story/5953 cleave its foundations by mearly speaking]. Paradox Space contains everything in Homestuck, including an [https://www.homestuck.com/story/7869 innumberable amount] of [[Bilious Slick|living, infinite-sized multiverses]], a [https://mspaintadventures.fandom.com/wiki/Tree_stump higher level of existence where the reader resides in], which [https://www.homestuck.com/story/5395 encompasses] and [https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/characterrealms/images/3/32/5527468-furthest_ring.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20180325122056 transcends] it all. [[Andrew Hussie]] [https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/797656920454463498/799379911944306698/image0.jpg states] that Lord English is a detached extension of himself, being meant to be "the anti-narrative of the story")
| |
|
| |
| '''[[Durability]]:''' Likely '''Low Complex Multiverse level+''' (Even while weakened, most of the Beta Kid's attacks on him where completely ineffective, barring Dave's sword, which was literally made to harm him, and even then, Lord English tanked it. Survived being shoved into a black hole the size of eternity, finally dying when Calliope devoured him) | At least '''Low Complex Multiverse level+''' (Completely unharmed by anything in the comic. Can only be harmed apparently through temporal loopholes)
| |
|
| |
| '''[[Striking Strength]]:''' Likely '''Low Complex Multiverse level+''' | At least '''Low Complex Multiverse level+'''
| |
|
| |
|
| '''[[Lifting Strength]]:''' | | '''[[Lifting Strength]]:''' |
| Line 281: |
Line 74: |
|
| |
|
| '''[[Intelligence]]:''' | | '''[[Intelligence]]:''' |
| </tabber>
| |
| ---- | | ---- |
| ===[[Hax|Powers and Abilities]]=== | | ===[[Hax|Powers and Abilities]]=== |
| <tabber>
| |
| |-|Caliborn=
| |
| {{#tag:tabber|
| |
| {{!}}-{{!}}Base=
| |
| [[Sburb Player Physiology]] (Type 1), [[Immortality]] (Type 8: As a "supreme villain", Caliborn's existence can not be prevented from coming into being nor can you kill him until Paradox Space allows it),
| |
| {{!}}-{{!}}Equipment (Base)=[[Mind Manipulation]] ([https://www.homestuck.com/story/5810 Controlled Alpha Jack] [https://www.homestuck.com/story/5808 when he came into contact with Lil' Cal], [https://www.homestuck.com/story/5812 causing him to stab himself in the eyes])
| |
| {{!}}-{{!}}God-Tier=
| |
| {{!}}-{{!}}Masterpiece=
| |
| }}
| |
| |-|Lil' Cal=
| |
| |-|Doc Scratch=
| |
| |-|Lord English=
| |
| {{#tag:tabber|
| |
| {{!}}-{{!}}Weakened=
| |
| {{!}}-{{!}}Prime=
| |
| {{#tag:tabber|
| |
| {{!}}-{{!}}Unique Powers=
| |
| {{!}}-{{!}}Component Powers=
| |
| {{!}}-{{!}}Resistances=[[Resistance]] to
| |
| }}
| |
| }}
| |
| </tabber>
| |
| ----
| |
| ===[[Standard Equipment]]===
| |
| ---- | | ---- |
| ===Notable Techniques=== | | ===Notable Techniques=== |
| Line 313: |
Line 81: |
| ===Other=== | | ===Other=== |
|
| |
|
| '''Standard Tactics:''' | | '''Standard Tactics:''' |
|
| |
|
| '''Weaknesses:''' | | '''Weaknesses:''' |
