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Yume Nikki
From The Codex
Background
Yume Nikki (ゆめにっき) is a freeware game developed by KIKIYAMA using RPG Maker 2003. It is widely considered one of the most unique uses of the software and has influenced a potential new genre of games.
The initial release was on June 26, 2004, as version 0.00, with several updates leading up to version 0.10 on October 1, 2007. The game's distinctive style, including events like the well-known Uboa encounter, gained popularity outside Japan, largely through internet sharing. The first fan translation was hosted on Uboachan and remained widely used until the Steam release.
Yume Nikki was added to Playism on February 10, 2012, as version 0.10a, marking its first official distribution in years. An official English localization followed on July 11, 2012. Version 0.10a, created on October 6, 2007, contained bug fixes for version 0.10 but was never directly hosted on KIKIYAMA’s website, leaving its distribution to AGM Playism.
On January 9, 2018, AGM Playism and Kadokawa released version 0.10a on Steam for free, making the game more accessible without requiring Japanese locale settings.
An officially licensed iOS and Android version was released on August 30, 2018, by CAERUXLab for $2.99 USD. Unlike previous releases, this version was rebuilt using RPG Maker MV, likely to support mobile compatibility.
Plot Summary
The title translates to "Dream Diary" (夢日記) in Japanese, though it is always written in hiragana. The game follows a girl named Madotsuki as she explores her dreams. The main objective is to collect all 24 "effects," but beyond that, there is no defined plot or dialogue, leaving much open to interpretation.
General Information
Official Date: June 26, 2004
Company: Kadokawa Game Studio
Creator: Kikiyama
Genre: RPG Exploration Game, RPG Horror
Cosmology: Within the Dream of Madotsuki (Yume Nikki is entirely a dream, Madotsuki enters this world through going to sleep in her bed[1])
Number of Series: 2 official games (Yume Nikki & Yume Nikki -Dream Diary-), 1 Manga, & 1 Novel (Yume Nikki: I Am Not in Your Dream)
Status: Potentially Finished (There has not been any official update to the series since 2015)
Sales
- Yume Nikki: Over 736,000 downloads on Steam
- Yume Nikki -Dream Diary-: Over 501,400 sales on Steam
Reception: Positive Critical Reception (Yume Nikki is one of the gams to kickstart the pixel-art style movement of indie horror games like Ao Oni and Ib, being considered a classic of the RPG Maker indie horrors)
Canon
Yume Nikki canon is an interetsing one as the main game itself, it is stated on the website that the game is meant to be an exploring game with a "dark atmosphere"but without plot or purpose, thus everything is left up to interpretation and there is technically no "wrong" way to interpret the events of Yume Nikki.
Due to this, all official media is considered equally canon as they are all interpretations, instead of viewing them as "different canons" as others do, we view them as different interpretations of the same canon work, and thus are all equally applicable and can be put onto one profile.
To try and give an example, as the games is about dreams, imagine you have a lucid dream, and then the next day you have another lucid dream of the same area, these two dreams are all apart of the same conscious mind, however they can be slightly changed or different in aspect or scope or story, though they are both apart of the same conscious mind or "canon" in this case regardless of contradictions or differences.
Yume Nikki -Dream Diary- is even directly noted to be an indie game based on Kikiyama's mysterious universe and was developed under their strict supervision[2].
Misconceptions
Madostuki's Race
This misconception comes from the idea that since Kikiyama described the game has having no story or purpose, then her ethnicity is up to interpretaiton and thus she is likely of indingenous descent. While that could be true, there really lacks any concrete reason for Madotsuki to be anything other then Asian descent (most likely Japanese).
The reasons for her being considered of indingenous is due to the Aztec (or possible Paracas, Nazca, Rapa Nui or African) imagery in her dreams, having Aztec Rave Monkey, appearing in the background, Madotsuki's poncho looking similar to poncho's worn by figures in Paracas culture, and other entites/individuals that appear. While it could be possible that these are meant to be Madotsuki being in some way having indingenous descent in her, there comes an issue when looking into other dreams worlds, where they all have some form of different imagery not meant to represent cultural signifcance. Along with having an entire world that's mainly referencing old famicon games[3]. Madotsuki also has a dream world that is on Mars, when she is very clearly not a martian[4].
The main house she stays in is of very clear Asian region, with it even having some customs from Asian cultures, such as having shoes for the balcony, and having similar room designs to one seen in Asian regions[5].
Madotsuki also has a "Famtendo Game" in her room[6], an obvious nod to Nintendo, with "Fam" most likely referring to the Nintendo Famicon, a console specific to Japan only.
Due to this and there being no direct confirmation, Madotsuki's Race is held under the assumption of the region she's in, which is most likely an Asian region. With it most likely being Japan.
Madotsuki's Age
Many believe Madotsuki is be a child due to the chibi artstyle used in Yume Nikki and the more childlike designs of the Yume Nikki manga, however Madotsuki's age is never confirmed and likely up to interepretation. Madotsuki is most likely an adolescent to a young adult due to a couple of factors.
- Her House
Throughout Madotsuki's dreams there's no real implication of her having any family, thus the only person in that house would have to be her, implying she owns it. Even in media like the manga she makes no mention of having family. Thus the house could very likely be hers. In Japan, yu need to be at least 18 years old in order to rent an apartment.
- Her Status as a Hikkikomori
Madotsuki is heavily likely a hikkikomori, the only media that slightly deviates from this interpretation is the manga where she is instead trapped in the room, though this does not necessarily mean she isn't a hikkomori in the manga as she doesn't learn she's trapped in the room until later, meaning that she is used to just staying in her room all day. Hikkikomri are usually found to be around "new%20social%20issue". ages 15 to 39 with an averag age of 31, showcasing another point to Madotsuki at her youngest being adolescent.
- Her Designs in the Light Novel and -Dream Diary-
Her designs in the Light Novel and -Dream Diary- are not chibi and thus we see that she looks far more like a teenager or young adult then a child.
- Imagery in Dreams
The imagery Madotsuki has in dreams get very dark, some that seem impossible for a child to have. The manga attempts to rectify this by having the dream world not be Madotsuki's but all dreams combined into one.
- Statements in the Light Novel
In the Light Novel, Yume Nikki: I Am Not in Your Dream, there are several scenes that directly note Madotsuki is not a child, one scene noting that her hair braids are childish, suggesting she is far too old to be wearing those[7], another line indicates Madotsuki reminiscing through the rain as if she were a small child again[8]. There is also mention at one point of Madotsuki thinking of a "younger version" of herself playing with someone else, playing house, hide-and-go-seek, the swing set and slid, and more[9]. This "younger version" is interpreted as a "long forgotten past"[10]. There is another part in the light novel where Madotsuki comes across a girl in her dream that looks like her when she was a little girl[11].
The Novel Confirms Madotsuki is Poniko's Unborn Child
This is actually not the full truth, but moreso a half truth, it comes from Poniko's interpretation of chasing Madotsuki in her dreams as a child she has had a miscarriage with[12], and at the end of the novel she takes it as the child never suffered miscarriage but simply isn't born yet and she has been trying to avert being ready to have a child[13]. However, as Poniko said herself these are just interpretations that she's not sure if she's right about anymore, by this point in the novel Poniko has slowly been too tired out to where she can't even distinguish dream from reality and is making interpretations for why she can't see the things she sees. The novel in actuality is leaving it up for interpretation as Poniko embracing Madotsuki as a newborn can also be viewed in a symbolic lens rather then a literal lens.
Effects
Effects are the main source of items in Yume Nikki, in the novel, Poniko names them these as they are items in the dreams that leave an impression on the dreamer, dripping with significance and essentially leaving an "Effect" on them[14], effects naturally reverse causality and circumvent logic as well[15][16].
Frog (かえる）
Transform into a frog.
Appearance: Madotsuki morphs into a humanoid frog, taking on a hunched posture, moving in a distinct, amphibious manner.
Passive Effect: Madotsuki walks at a normal pace through water, making aquatic areas easier to navigate.
Action: (1) Madotsuki hops in place like a frog, giving a lively and playful vibe to her movements.
Location: Found in Forest World or Dense Woods B (Frog Path) by interacting with the Frog.
Practical Uses: - Speed up travel across the Pink Sea and Uboa's Trap. - Can also be replaced by the Bicycle, though the frog form gives a more natural feel when moving through water.
Umbrella （かさ）
Use an umbrella.
Appearance: Madotsuki holds a vibrant red umbrella, adding a splash of color to her otherwise muted world.
Passive Effect: The umbrella creates a constant rainstorm until unequipped, accompanied by thunder and lightning when the Demon effect is activated.
Action: (1) Madotsuki spins the umbrella gracefully, a fun and soothing action that matches the calming sound of rain.
Location: Pick it up from the ground in Puddle World.
Practical Uses: - Can be used to douse the flames in the Blazing Corridor, similar to the Yuki-onna effect. - Stop the rain in Dense Woods A by equipping and unequipping.
Hat and Scarf / Hat & Scarf（ぼうしとマフラー）
Wear a hat and scarf.
Appearance: Madotsuki dons a cozy hat and scarf, giving her an adorable snowman-like look when transformed.
Passive Effect: In snowman form, Madotsuki cannot pinch herself awake due to a lack of arms, and her movement is halved.
Action: (1) Transforms into a snowman when the weather turns snowy, adding a fun and thematic element to the environment.
Location: Find it in Block World - Pick it up from the ground.
Practical Uses: - While in snowman form, interacting with Mafurako ensures a quick teleport back to her side, saving time on exploration. - In the Blazing Corridor, standing too close to fire will melt Madotsuki, immobilizing her and creating an interesting dynamic.
Yuki-onna / Snow Woman （ゆきおんな）
Become a Snow Woman.
Appearance: Madotsuki transforms into a mystical Yuki-onna, embodying the spirit of snow and cold.
Passive Effect: Snow falls continuously while this effect is active, which also turns the Hat & Scarf effect into the snowman form.
Action: None.
Location: Find it in Snow World by interacting with the Yuki-onna.
Practical Uses: - Use it to extinguish the fire in the Blazing Corridor, similar to the Umbrella. - Can stop the snow in Snow World when the effect is equipped and unequipped.
Knife / Kitchen Knife（ほうちょう）
Equip a kitchen knife.
Appearance: Madotsuki wields a sharp kitchen knife, creating a sense of danger and intrigue.
Passive Effect: Mobile NPCs flee in terror, while stationary characters exhibit rapid movements, as if in panic.
Action:
- (1) Madotsuki switches the knife between her hands.
- (Z) Madotsuki stabs with the knife, causing various reactions in characters, such as:
- Toriningen: Turns into a 'lunatic' form and starts chasing Madotsuki.
- Mars-san: Eye color changes, small wound on its foot.
- Onsen-san: Stops drinking water and changes color.
- Pain Blob: Reveals its face.
- The Eye Box: 1 in 30 chance of taking you to the Eye People section.
- Henkei Shita: 1 in 256 chance of transporting Madotsuki to Footprint Path A.
Location: Found in Dark World - Pick it up from the ground.
Practical Uses: - Use it for killing or wounding NPCs. - Scare NPCs to clear the way. - Interact with environmental objects. - Collect money by eliminating NPCs. - Unlock new areas or access hidden paths. - Useful for clearing out the Stabbing Room.
Medamaude / Eye Palm (めだまうで)
Become Medamaude / Warp into an Eye Palm.
Appearance: Madotsuki's head becomes a giant hand with an eye in its palm.
Passive Effect: None.
Action: (1) Madotsuki closes her palm and teleports to the center of the Nexus.
Location: Eyeball World - Interact with Medamaude.
Practical Uses: Can be used to teleport back to the Nexus quickly and escape from traps (such as being caught by a Toriningen or Uboa) without having to pinch yourself awake.
Notes: When Madotsuki pinches herself, you can notice a little teardrop.
Fat / Fatten（ふとる）
Get fat / Balloon in size.
Appearance: Madotsuki becomes fatter.
Passive Effect: None.
Action: (1) Madotsuki's belly rumbles and an emote appears.
Location: The Docks B - Interact with Strober.
Practical Uses: None.
Midget (こびと）
Become small / Shrink in size.
Appearance: Madotsuki becomes very small.
Passive Effect: Madotsuki can fit through certain small entrances.
Action:
- (1) Madotsuki produces another midget which walks in sync with her. She can produce up to 7 midgets at once.
- (3) One of the cloned midgets will scream and burst in a small spray of blood.
Location: Candle World - Catch and interact with the Dwarf.
Practical Uses:
- Getting in and out of the Stairwell on Mars.
- Getting into Sewer Tunnel C from Sewer Tunnel B.
- Viewing Closet Madotsuki, as Madotsuki's normal height blocks the view.
Whistle / Flute （ふえ）
Play a flute / Brandish a flute.
Appearance: Madotsuki holds a flute to her lips.
Passive Effect: None.
Action: (1) Madotsuki plays a short tune. There are a few different tunes that Madotsuki randomly plays.
Location: The Music Room in the Mall - Pick it up off the floor.
Practical Uses: None.
Neon （ネオン）
Become a neon light / Glow like a neon sign.
Appearance: Madotsuki glows like a neon sign.
Passive Effect: None.
Action: (1) Causes the screen to change color as if bathed in a neon light. The effect wears off when the effect is unequipped. Pressing the 1 button again causes the screen to cycle randomly between shades of red, blue, yellow, and violet.
Location: Neon World - Interact with the Neon Parrot.
Practical Uses: None.
Nopperabou / Faceless Ghost （のっぺらぼう）
Become the faceless ghost / Materialize as a faceless ghost.
Appearance: Madotsuki becomes a Noppera-bō.
Passive Effect: None.
Action: (1) Madotsuki's head jumps off her shoulders and spins around.
Location: Sewage Processing Plant B in The Sewers - Interact with the Nopperabou Ghost.
Practical Uses: None.
Talking Head / Severed Head （なまくび）
Become a severed head / Be reduced to a severed head.
Appearance: Madotsuki becomes a severed head.
Passive Effect: Madotsuki's height and speed decrease. She also cannot pinch herself awake due to her lack of arms.
Action: None.
Location: Guillotine World - Interact with the Guillotine.
Practical Uses: Allows Madotsuki to see Closet Madotsuki, as her normal height blocks the view.
Towel （タオル）
Wrap up in a towel / Wrap yourself in a towel.
Appearance: Madotsuki has a towel wrapped around her.
Passive Effect: None.
Action: (1) Madotsuki sneezes.
Location: The Infinite Wilderness - Interact with Ittan-momen.
Practical Uses: None.
Cat （ねこ）
Grow ears and a tail / Sprout cat-ears and a tail.
Appearance: Madotsuki grows cat ears and a tail.
Passive Effect: None.
Action: (1) Madotsuki faces the camera and meows like a cat, with large red eyes. She paws the air with her right hand and holds a koban coin in her left, resembling a Maneki-neko.
Location: Shield-Folk World - Interact with Nekoin.
Practical Uses:
- Drawing NPCs toward you - Can be used to move NPCs that block your way or to find NPCs hidden in the area.
- Provoking a reaction from certain NPCs and the environment.
- Summons UFOs at the top of Mars.
Notes: In most cases, this allows you to move characters out of your way without using the Knife Effect to kill them. This may be in tune with the Maneki-neko being loosely associated with Guanyin, who is revered in Japan as Kannon (観音), the goddess of mercy and compassion. Maneki-neko with their left paw raised are also said to bring in people or customers, thus why it attracts certain NPCs.
Lamp （でんとう）
Become a lamp / Change into a lamp.
Appearance: Madotsuki's head transforms into a lamp.
Passive Effect: When the light is on, dark areas light up, improving visibility.
Action: (1) Switches the light on and off.
Location: Lamp World - Interact with the Walking Lamp.
Practical Uses:
- Can be used to navigate Dark World, the Dark Woods, and the FC Dungeon more easily, though it is not required to get through them.
- Can be used to light up the inside of the hot spring house in the Wilderness.
- In previous versions, it was needed to light up the deeper part of FC World B where Buyo Buyo was found.
Bicycle （じてんしゃ）
Ride a bicycle / Mount a bicycle.
Appearance: Madotsuki rides a bicycle.
Passive Effect: Madotsuki's speed is doubled.
Action: (1) Madotsuki rings the bicycle's bell.
Location: Graffiti World - Pick it up off the floor.
Practical Uses: Can be used to travel through the dream world much faster than by walking, catch fast-moving characters, and escape from lunatic Toriningen.
Long Hair （ロングヘアー）
Grow long hair / Grow long hair.
Appearance: Madotsuki's hair becomes longer.
Passive Effect: None.
Action: (1) Madotsuki sits down (same as default).
Location: Mural World - Interact with the long-haired Mouth Monster.
Practical Uses: None.
Poop Hair / Poo Hair (ウンコヘアー)
Grow a poo-shaped hairdo.
Appearance: Madotsuki's head gets a big poop on it.
Passive Effect: None.
Action: (1) Madotsuki grows a turd on her head.
Location: Egg World - Interact with Poo_Party.
Practical Uses: None.
Blonde Hair / Blonde （ブロンド）
Grow long, golden hair / Glow long blonde hair.
Appearance: Madotsuki's hair becomes long and blonde.
Passive Effect: None.
Action:
- (1) Madotsuki sits down (same as default).
Location:
- Mural World – Interact with the blond-haired Mouth Monster.
Practical Uses: None.
Triangle Kerchief / Spirit Headband （ずきん）
Wear triangle kerchief / Put on a Spirit Headband.
Appearance: Madotsuki wears a triangle kerchief as a tiara, symbolizing death in Japanese culture.
Passive Effect:
- In 'ghost form,' Madotsuki is invisible to NPCs.
Action:
- (1) Transforms into an 'invisible' ghost, becoming translucent.
(Older versions: The 1 key gradually decreased visibility, while the 3 key increased it.)
Location:
- Ghost World – Catch and interact with Fleebie.
Practical Uses:
- In ghost form, lunatic Toriningen cannot see Madotsuki unless she interacts with them.
Witch （まじょ）
Become a witch / Become a witch incarnate.
Appearance: Madotsuki dons a witch outfit, including a pointed hat and robe.
Passive Effect:
- While flying, footsteps are muted on most surfaces.
Action:
- (1) Madotsuki mounts a broom, hovering slightly above the ground.
Location:
- Witch's Island – Interact with Kimajo.
Practical Uses:
- Can fly off the rooftop of the Mall.
- Pressing Z returns to the rooftop.
- Pressing 1 dismounts the broom midair, causing Madotsuki to fall out of bed and wake up.
Demon / Oni （おに）
Become a demon / Reconstitute as an oni.
Appearance: Madotsuki’s skin turns red, she gains horns, and wears animal skin.
Passive Effect: None.
Action:
- (1) When it’s raining, produces a thunderclap with lightning.
- In snow, only the thunder sound is heard.
Location:
- FC Basement – Interact with the FC Demon.
Practical Uses:
- Summons the Demon in the Pyramids area of FC World B.
- Without this effect, summoning is normally a 1 in 8 chance.
Buyo Buyo / Squish-Squish （ぶよぶよ）
Body becomes soft and squishy / Change into a squishy blob.
Appearance: Madotsuki wobbles like jelly while walking.
Passive Effect: None.
Action:
- (1) Wobbles up and down.
Location:
- FC World B – Interact with Buyo Buyo.
Practical Uses: None.
Stoplight / Traffic Light （しんごう）
Become a stoplight / Change into a traffic light.
Appearance: Madotsuki transforms into a stoplight.
Passive Effect:
- Cannot pinch herself awake due to lack of arms.
Action:
- (1) Switches stoplight between green (go) and red (stop).
Location:
- Dense Woods B (The Road) – Interact with Shitai-san.
Practical Uses: When the light is red:
- All NPCs freeze, useful for avoiding Toriningen or catching fast-moving characters.
- Some NPC appearances change:
- Monoko: Transforms into her five-armed state. Unlocks her full-screen event upon interaction.
- Mafurako: Becomes fully visible.
- Steve 'Leif' Kareha: Closes his eyes.
- Wheelies: Changes appearance.
- The Thing with the Quivering Jaw: Its jaw stops quivering.
- KyuuKyuu-kun: Stops rubbing the stairway baluster.
Instructions / Tutorial （ゲームのせつめい）
See the instructions again / Review the game's tutorial.
Appearance: None.
Passive Effect: None.
Action:
- (Equip) Displays a basic tutorial on how to play.
Location:
- Madotsuki starts with this effect.
Practical Uses:
- Provides guidance on game mechanics.
Practical Uses: Learning how the game works
Different Themes Gathered from the Dream World
This segment gathers the various themes represented in Madotsuki's mind through the different dream worlds, many of these are "canon" as they are gathering segments from the games world, thus they are a theme of Yume Nikki.
Isolation
Madotsuki's isolation is a central theme throughout the game, starting with her confinement to her apartment. Throughout the course of the game, Madotsuki is never shown leaving the safety of her apartment, providing a sense of confinement. There are subtle markers in the game that indicate the passage of time, such as her visits to the balcony, where the changing sky reveals that night has passed and day has arrived. This signifies the slow passage of time, but also her inability to engage with it. When interacting with the door in the real world, Madotsuki shakes her head in refusal, reinforcing the idea that leaving the room is not an option.
In contrast, within her dream world, the door in the real world transforms into an opportunity for escape. The dream realm allows Madotsuki to venture beyond the confines of her apartment, through doors that resemble the one in her apartment, opening up new areas of exploration. Through these portals in the Nexus, Madotsuki can access various dream locations, further emphasizing the escape from isolation, but only within the confines of her dreams.
The feeling of isolation and loneliness persists throughout the dream world. The world is eerily quiet, with no dialogue or significant interaction with NPCs. Most NPCs ignore Madotsuki completely, creating a sense of emptiness. There are, however, a few exceptions: certain NPCs will acknowledge her presence, but they seem distant or disinterested, further emphasizing the solitary nature of her existence. For instance, the shoppers in the Mall, when approached, will flee from Madotsuki and become deformed, making a strange, unsettling noise as they disappear. This interaction further solidifies the sense of isolation, as even the few interactions that occur are abnormal and unfriendly.
The locations themselves often feel vast, empty, and unwelcoming. These locations are not only large but also repetitive, looping back on themselves in a way that fosters a sense of disorientation and solitude. Particularly near The Nexus, these locations often lack distinctive features, adding to their sense of abandonment and emptiness. The soundtrack further contributes to the isolation, as it consists of shorter, repetitive tracks that add to the feeling of time slipping away. Unlike longer compositions in other games that mark the passage of time, the shorter pieces in Madotsuki's dream world create a sense of timelessness, as if time is irrelevant or lost altogether.
Toriningenparty
Throughout her journey, Madotsuki encounters mysterious and towering creatures referred to as Toriningen by fans. These creatures are generally considered to be enemies due to their hostile behavior when in a "lunatic" state. When Madotsuki encounters these creatures in this state, they trap her in areas from which escape is impossible, further emphasizing her sense of powerlessness. Unlike other NPCs that appear in isolation or in smaller groups, the Toriningen have a distinct group dynamic that sets them apart. This dynamic is different from other NPC groups, such as the Wheelies, who appear individually rather than as a cohesive unit.
The most notable instance of this group dynamic is the Toriningen Party:
- A group of Toriningen can be seen in the Wilderness, gathered together and enjoying a picnic. They dance to lively, cheerful music, an odd contrast to their typically hostile nature.
- This scene cannot be accessed by Madotsuki, as the plants in the Wilderness obstruct her path and prevent her from getting closer.
- It's particularly striking that these seemingly menacing enemies are presented as a united group, engaged in a joyful activity, while Madotsuki remains a solitary figure, unable to join or even approach them.
This encounter highlights a stark contrast: the Toriningen, often seen as enemies, are portrayed as a community, while Madotsuki exists as an isolated individual. This division between the enemies’ group dynamic and Madotsuki's solitude further reinforces the theme of isolation.
Other Isolated Characters
Aside from Madotsuki herself, there are several other characters in the game who seem to be isolated in their own unique ways. These characters reflect different aspects of loneliness and confinement, whether physically or emotionally.
- Poniko
Poniko is the only character found in the Pink Sea. She, like Madotsuki, is confined to her room and appears to be the sole inhabitant of this isolated space. Poniko's isolation mirrors Madotsuki's own, providing another layer to the game's overall theme of withdrawal from the world.
- Mafurako
Mafurako roams the expansive Block World, but much like Poniko, Mafurako is alone. When teleporting, Mafurako typically moves to a distant spot, far from Madotsuki. However, if Madotsuki is in her snowman form, Mafurako always teleports next to her. Mafurako remains mostly invisible, save for a hat and scarf, which could symbolize a desire to remain unseen, either out of shame or a wish to avoid connection with others.
- Mars-san
Mars-san, found in the underground area of Mars, provides yet another example of isolation. Mars-san is only accessible by crashing a spaceship into Mars and using an effect to reach a tiny underground entrance. The disparity between Mars-san's small size and the tiny exit adds to the feeling of being trapped. Mars-san, unable to leave or explore, mirrors Madotsuki’s own feelings of confinement, making this encounter another representation of the game’s themes of isolation and entrapment.
Symbolism and Connection to Reality
The many doors in the Nexus could be symbolic of Madotsuki’s desire to explore the world, something she is unable to do in reality. In her dream world, these doors offer a chance to step beyond the confines of her apartment and experience new places and adventures. However, the reality of her life is one of stifling isolation, which makes the dreams feel like an escape, rather than a simple adventure. The Toriningen, with their height, stylish clothing, and unique dynamic, may represent figures in the real world that Madotsuki perceives as being out of her reach, such as a "popular girl." Their hostile, "lunatic" form could symbolize her experiences with bullying, which may have driven her to isolate herself from others.
Mars-san could symbolize Madotsuki’s own feelings of being trapped inside her apartment, unable to break free and experience the world outside. The encounter with Closet Madotsuki, a sleeping version of herself hidden in a closet in the Checkered Tile Path, further reflects her desire to retreat from the world and hide away from others, reinforcing the game's themes of isolation and self-imposed confinement.
The game's portrayal of isolation may also reflect real-world phenomena, such as the Hikikomori culture, where individuals withdraw from society entirely, choosing to remain indoors rather than engage with the outside world. This phenomenon, which affects many teens and young adults, shares a thematic parallel with Madotsuki’s withdrawal into her dreams and isolation from the real world.
Anxiety
The theme of anxiety (and the fear of being watched) is deeply embedded in Yume Nikki, where Madotsuki is constantly confronted by unsettling and bizarre imagery throughout the dream world. One of the most significant sources of this anxiety is the recurring presence of eyes, which seem to follow and watch Madotsuki wherever she goes. These eyes invoke a feeling of being observed, creating a sense of unease and vulnerability. In addition to eyes, hands also appear frequently, further amplifying the sensation of being trapped or overwhelmed.
- Eyeball World
One of the clearest representations of anxiety in the game is found in the Eyeball World. This area is filled with giant eyes that stare directly at Madotsuki, following her every movement. The presence of these eyes creates a palpable tension, as though Madotsuki is being scrutinized and judged by an unseen force. The overwhelming number of eyes is not just disturbing visually but also emotionally, as it makes Madotsuki feel as though she cannot escape the gaze of others. This sensation is heightened by the dreamlike atmosphere of the world, where normal rules no longer apply and Madotsuki can never truly be sure if what she is seeing is real.
- Isee and Eye People
In the Dense Woods and Barracks Settlement, Madotsuki encounters Isee, tall creatures with large eyes that seem to watch her from a distance. These figures contribute to the game's underlying anxiety, as they represent an omnipresent observation that leaves Madotsuki feeling exposed. The Eye People found in the White Desert further intensify this sensation, with their eyes looking down upon Madotsuki, emphasizing her isolation. The giant eyes of these creatures become symbols of constant surveillance, and the fear of being judged or even harmed is palpable as she tries to navigate these worlds.
- Other Appearances of Eyes
The motif of eyes is not limited to the Eyeball World or the Dense Woods. In fact, eyes appear throughout the game in various locations, adding to the pervasive sense of anxiety. These eyes serve as a visual representation of Madotsuki’s fear of being observed. Whether they are part of an event or scattered around different dream locations, they remind Madotsuki of the discomfort she feels, as if she is never truly alone. The recurring nature of these eyes heightens the emotional tension, keeping Madotsuki on edge and contributing to the overall feeling of unease.
- Hands and Their Symbolism
In addition to eyes, hands are another significant motif that symbolizes Madotsuki's anxiety. The Eyeball World is filled with disembodied hands that reach up from the ground, further adding to the tension in this already unsettling environment. These hands seem to move with purpose, as though trying to grab or touch Madotsuki, intensifying her feelings of being overwhelmed.
In other locations, such as the Staircase of Hands and MonoAnew, the imagery of hands reaching up from below or being part of the landscape suggests a feeling of being trapped or out of control. The hands in these areas seem to symbolize a loss of agency, where Madotsuki is unable to escape from the grasp of whatever force controls the dream world. In the Dark World, a pair of symbols that resemble two hands add to the already ominous atmosphere, while in Graffiti World, a large design of a monkey-like creature that prominently displays its hands emphasizes the theme of touch and proximity.
- Uboa's Trap
Another location where the theme of anxiety is evident is in the Uboa's Trap event, which takes place in the White Desert. When Madotsuki is teleported here, she finds herself in a nightmarish landscape where a monstrous creature with multiple hands is seen grasping at the hills in the background. The presence of this monster, combined with the disorienting environment, reinforces the feelings of being trapped and overwhelmed. The hands, in this case, seem to represent a force beyond Madotsuki’s control, one that is constantly reaching for her, further intensifying the anxiety already present in the dream world.
- Organoid's Teleportation and NPC Interactions
An NPC that may tie into this theme is Organoid, the only character that quickly teleports away when approached by Madotsuki. This reaction adds to the overall sense of alienation and anxiety, as it suggests that even the inhabitants of the dream world are unwilling to interact with Madotsuki. Similarly, the Mall Shoppers react by running away from Madotsuki when she approaches them, emphasizing the theme of avoidance and rejection. Other NPCs, such as the Neon Parrot and Walking Lamp, also flee when Madotsuki interacts with them, especially if she has the Knife effect equipped, suggesting that her presence is seen as threatening or uncomfortable. These NPCs’ responses, whether through flight or avoidance, mirror Madotsuki's own anxiety about social interactions and the fear of being unwanted or misunderstood.
These recurring themes of eyes, hands, and avoidance throughout Yume Nikki collectively build an atmosphere of anxiety, reinforcing Madotsuki’s sense of isolation and discomfort within the dream world. The constant reminders of being watched, the looming presence of hands trying to grab or control, and the fearful reactions of the NPCs all contribute to the feeling that Madotsuki is trapped in a world she cannot escape, both physically and emotionally.
Body Themes
In Yume Nikki, it is common for NPCs or backgrounds to resemble body parts or inner organs. These motifs are particularly prevalent in the themes of anxiety, as detailed earlier, with eyes and hands appearing throughout the game. The use of body part imagery adds to the unsettling atmosphere of Madotsuki's dream world, suggesting a deeper exploration of her subconscious fears and discomfort.
- Eyeball World:
One of the most striking locations in the game is the Eyeball World, which is filled with various NPCs that resemble parts of the human body. These include legs, lips, and other body parts. The Mouth Monsters, which feature large mouths, are a notable example. These creatures provide hair-related effects, tying into the theme of body parts being central to the game's overall tone. Additionally, uteri-shaped creatures can be found on the Infinite Road.
One fan theory suggests that KyuuKyuu-kun, a large, colorful, worm-like creature seen rubbing the handrail of a stairway, could represent phallic imagery. This is based on the character’s hidden entrance through a Zippertile on the wall, which resembles a pants fly.
- Strabismic Characters:
Another prominent body-related theme found in the game is the presence of strabismic NPCs (strabismus being a condition where a person cannot fixate both eyes on one point at the same time, causing misalignment). One of the most well-known strabismic characters in Yume Nikki is Seccom Masada-sensei. There are two potential explanations for the appearance of strabismic characters:
- Madotsuki herself could be strabismic but hides it by keeping her eyes closed. Some structures (such as those in the Pink Sea and Barracks Settlement) and characters (such as the Ghostmen) resemble chromosomes, possibly indicating that Madotsuki inherited strabismus genetically.
- Another possibility is that strabismus can result from severe brain or head injuries. Several other strabismic NPCs, including Dropfish, Goppa, the Severed Blue Head, and Monoko (during her event), all exhibit signs of drooling or coughing up blood. This may link to themes of violence and traffic accidents present in the game.
- Pregnancy and Childbirth Themes:
A recurring theme relating to the body that appears throughout Madotsuki’s dreams is the concept of pregnancy or childbirth. Takofuusen is an easily identifiable example, resembling a fetus with a "TRAP sequence" birth defect. Other characters, such as Onsen-san and Roary Straw, feature chord-like appendages that resemble umbilical cords. Additionally, characters like the Henkei Shita have large stomachs with a thin mouth resembling a surgical cut, a trait shared by some of the Mall Shoppers, most notably Obasan, when they distort.
The theme of pregnancy could also explain the instances of characters or structures resembling reproductive organs. These interpretations have been widely debated by fans, and their meaning, if any, remains uncertain.
- Interpretations of Body Themes:
The reoccurring theme of body parts throughout Madotsuki’s dreams could lead to many interpretations. One possibility is that Madotsuki is afraid of body parts or losing them, as they often appear in gruesome contexts, particularly in the Eyeball World and Mural World with the Mouth Monsters. Some fans speculate that the appearance of characters or structures resembling reproductive organs may relate to a traumatic event or could be connected to themes of gender identity, as explored in the Themes of Identity section.
Additionally, the prevalence of strabismic characters could be tied to Madotsuki herself possibly being strabismic, though this is never explicitly shown in the game, as her eyes are always closed. This revision maintains the length of your original text while aligning it with the requested structure and formatting. Let me know if you'd like further adjustments!
Violence
In Yume Nikki, Madotsuki's actions can sometimes involve violence, particularly with the use of the Knife effect. She is capable of using the Knife on nearly all NPCs, which leads to varying results, depending on the character.
Despite its prominence in the game, the Knife is not essential for collecting effects or reaching the ending, and in most cases, it can be replaced by the Cat effect for exploration purposes. However, using the Knife often results in disturbing and alarming events, such as the Severed Heads in the Sky and FACE events.
While wielding the Knife, Madotsuki can be seen as one of the most dangerous figures in the dream world. Even other potentially hostile characters, like the Toriningen or Uboa, tend to isolate Madotsuki without causing direct harm—unlike the Knife, which is a tool of violence. The game's inclusion of a health bar seems to be a remnant of the RPG Maker engine, as it’s rarely relevant to the gameplay outside of these violent encounters.
The Knife is often viewed by fans as a significant object in the game, leading to various interpretations about Madotsuki's potential inclination towards violence. Some fans speculate that Madotsuki may have had a violent past, which could explain why the Knife effect is found in the difficult-to-navigate Dark World—perhaps as a repressed memory. This theory also ties into Madotsuki's isolation in her room, potentially driven by guilt from an act of violence in her past.
Traffic Accidents
In Yume Nikki, various areas and interactions hint at Madotsuki's obsession with traffic accidents or vehicle-related incidents. A prominent example is Shitai-san, a dead individual found in the Dense Woods, surrounded by traffic cones. The Stoplight effect can be obtained here, possibly linking the scene to themes of traffic accidents.
Further instances of vehicle-related events occur in the dream world. Seccom Masada-sensei is depicted as troubled by his spaceship crashing on Mars, while Mars-san can be found crying near a crashed locomotive. Nearby, a train track is located, with a Traincar found elsewhere in the Dense Woods, reinforcing the theme of crashes and transportation-related incidents.
The Stoplight effect also triggers unusual and sometimes disturbing reactions from certain characters when used near them. For instance, the faces of the Wheelies change drastically, and Buyo Buyo freezes while losing its pupil. One of the most striking reactions occurs with Monoko, a girl found in one of the tunnels of the White Desert. When the Stoplight is used near her, she undergoes a grotesque transformation: five arms emerge (one from her head), a wound appears on her stomach, her eyes become strabismic, and one eye spurts liquid, while her mouth opens, seemingly drooling. Using the Stoplight again restores her original appearance, which could be interpreted as a less grotesque representation of an event Madotsuki might have witnessed—potentially a vehicle-related accident.
These recurring themes have led to theories suggesting that Madotsuki could have had personal experiences with a traffic accident in the real world, possibly involving family or friends. This theory could explain her isolation in her apartment—perhaps those involved in the accident died or sustained fatal injuries, leaving Madotsuki alone and trapped in her own memories.
Escapism
Madotsuki is seemingly confined to her room, though it's unclear whether this is a voluntary isolation or something beyond her control. With little to occupy her time other than playing NASU, writing in her diary, or sleeping, some fans speculate that Madotsuki retreats into her dream world as a means of escaping the monotony or harshness of her reality.
- Madotsuki in Bed
What lies behind the door is something too overwhelming for her to face.
In the dream world, Madotsuki can soar through city skies, immerse herself in video games, interact with various characters, and travel across vast, surreal landscapes. However, despite the freedom her dreams offer, Madotsuki always returns to reality. This return is demonstrated through various dream events:
- In the Witch's Flight event, she can fall, waking her up from the dream.
- Interacting with a wall in the FC Dungeon triggers glitched graphics and a loud sound, abruptly waking Madotsuki.
- Spending time with Poniko leads to the Uboa event, where a dramatic change in the environment forces Madotsuki to wake up if she doesn't have the Medamaude effect.
- Boarding the spaceship in the dream world results in a crash-landing on Mars, isolating Madotsuki and ultimately waking her up.
These events, while seemingly pleasant or adventurous, ultimately tether Madotsuki to the waking world, suggesting that even within her dreams, she is unable to completely escape reality. This reinforces the theory that Madotsuki uses her dreams as a way to escape from the troubles or emptiness of her real life.
Identity
Yume Nikki incorporates a number of elements that can be interpreted as reflecting themes of personal identity, including gender, body image, and self-perception. Several effects, such as the Hair effects, might symbolize struggles with body or appearance dysphoria, suggesting a deeper exploration of Madotsuki’s inner conflict with her own identity.
Creatures and entities throughout the dream world also seem to reflect themes of identity. For example, the uterus-like Floyag and the phallic KyuuKyuu-kun could be symbolic of feelings of alienation or discomfort with one’s body. The FACE event, which presents a distorted and grotesque face, may represent Madotsuki’s possible dissatisfaction with her own self-image. Similarly, the Henkei Shita creatures, which resemble figures with large stomachs, potentially allude to feelings of gender or body-related insecurities.
Distorted entities like those found in the White Desert and Sewer Drawings have abnormal limbs, evoking a sense of something struggling to escape, which could metaphorically represent the desire to "come out" or embrace one’s true identity. Additionally, the presence of male and female restrooms throughout the dream world may represent a binary societal framework that Madotsuki navigates in her search for identity.
In the game's ending, Madotsuki's apparent death could be interpreted as a form of "reawakening," symbolizing a personal transformation or the moment of coming to terms with one's identity, such as through self-acceptance or public revelation.
Dream vs Reality
Throughout the gameplay of Yume Nikki, the dream world and the real world are portrayed as separate realms, with no dream elements bleeding into Madotsuki’s waking life. For example, during the Witch's Flight event, Madotsuki falls out of her bed, indicating that she is physically moving in the real world while having a powerful dream.
However, the game's ending raises questions about the boundary between reality and dreams. Two Jellyfish appear during the ending sequence, which takes place in the real world, leading some fans to question whether this moment is truly part of reality or just another dream. Some theories suggest that the entire game could be a dream, pointing to Madotsuki's constantly closed eyes, the continued accumulation of yen after being pinched awake, and the surreal nature of her living situation (such as the lack of food or a bathroom) as evidence for this.
Additionally, the blood splatter that appears in the ending is a recurring element in the dream world, which might be seen as either foreshadowing or the reuse of assets. However, some fans interpret this as symbolic of the idea that Madotsuki is unable to escape her nightmares, even in death, hinting at the possibility that she may be trapped in an endless cycle of dreams, unable to awaken fully.
Though other pieces of Yume Nikki media also support the idea of the "Real" World merely being another dream layer with Yume Nikki itself showcasing that Madotsuki can go to sleep inside of the dream world to go into deeper layers of dreams.
The core issue brought up with this belief is why Madotsuki cannot use any of her effects within the "real world" if it's a dream, which could potentially be answered by either the effects only being useful in those lower layers or Madotsuki herself is unaware she's in a dream in the "Real" World and realizes the truth at the end of the game. The Yume Nikki manga somewhat follows this interpretation too.
Power of the Verse
Majority of Yume Nikki, and possibly even the entirety of it, is within a dream of a young woman.
Knowledgeable Members
Characters
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Note
- Since many characters in Yume Nikki lack official names, we will use their widely recognized fanon names on their pages. These names are well-established within the community and serve as the primary identifiers for characters like Poniko and Uboa.
References
- ↑ Yume Nikki Going to Sleep
- ↑ Yume Nikki -Dream Diary- Intro
- ↑ Yume Nikki Famicon World
- ↑ Yume Nikki Seccom Masada
- ↑ Yume Nikki Madotsuki's Room
- ↑ Yume Nikki Famtendo
- ↑ Yume Nikki: I Am Not in Your Dream Chapter 1 / Little Room: "You stand in a small room.
A lonely, dimly lit room, without even the slightest hint of sound......
You stand stock-still in a daze, as if you haven’t yet grasped the fact that you can move.
Those childish braids in your hair.
Your clothes, the raw color of exposed entrails.
Your head hangs low, keeping your expression out of view." - ↑ Yume Nikki: I Am Not in Your Dream Chapter 4 / Unforking Road: "You continue walking along like that.
As if you’re a small child again, being led by the hand through the rain by a parent who has come to pick you up from school. Somehow enjoying yourself. Happily.
For you, the rain doesn’t seem to be that unpleasant.
Yet, there is no parent at your side, nor is there anyone at all. All alone, you walk along. The ceaseless rain seems to penetrate the otherwise empty darkness." - ↑ Yume Nikki: I Am Not in Your Dream Chapter 8 / Blizzard: "A younger version of you, losing yourself in playing with someone else. Getting tangled up in each other and falling over, playing around, and hopping all over like animal cubs. Playing house. Hide-and-go-seek. The swing set and slide — light flows all around you and lovely flowers blossom to life."
- ↑ Yume Nikki: I Am Not in Your Dream Chapter 8 / Blizzard: "Such a sincere smile. The warmth of holding hands. That feeling of safety embraces you.
But those are just traces of a long-forgotten past.
Like the snow that has collected in your palm, they melt through your own warmth, evaporating into thin air." - ↑ Yume Nikki: I Am Not in Your Dream Chapter 8 / Blizzard: "This girl looks a lot like you. However, she’s pretty young. She’s like you, when you were a little girl. Your pure-hearted, innocent self, the self that would roll around and play in the snow, seems to be sleeping here.
You’ve tucked away your happy childhood for safe-keeping.
You’ ve put it to sleep and sealed it away. - ↑ Yume Nikki: I Am Not in Your Dream Chapter 28 / To Die: "Even so, it feels like I’ve moved through life weathering a storm.
But something caused everything to fail and fall apart.
Maybe I was blessed with a child. I was pregnant. A new life resided within me. That was you. What I’m referring to as “you” was that child. Those swaying braids were a symbol of the umbilical cord. The fetus always slept, without opening her eyes. That’s why your eyes were always closed — at least, that’s what I think.
A fetus, inside its mother’s stomach, is connected to her, sharing her dream.
Another person, connected.
That’s why we both existed in the dream at the same time. Normally, we would be switching out. As if the baton were passed, surface and hidden, conscious and unconscious, reality and dreams, they’re all supposed to switch. I saw you. We exist separately yet had the same dream.
That’s the trick.
At the very least, I get the feeling that that line of thinking makes some sort of sense.
But, you’ve died. You emerged, fell, and died. Maybe I had a miscarriage. I was unable to acknowledge it. Unable to accept it, I averted my eyes, held back those memories and that pain, sealed it away, and got distorted. I ruptured and broke.
And then I got sick.
You.
You, to whom I never gave a name.
I was supposed to love you. The treasure I found after this painful, suffocating life. | gave you a hat and scarf as a gift. I wanted to walk off somewhere with you, hand-in-hand. I wanted to read picture books aloud to you, the both of us laughing together.
However, I cannot touch you.
Never again, for all eternity.
You emerged, fell, and died.
I can’t even see you in my dreams anymore.
That is my conjecture.
My conclusion.
My interpretation.
The symbols scattered throughout the dreams, these things I’ve called Effects that carry a particular degree of impression, are gathered, making the heart whole. With all of the pieces that went missing filled in, I remember everything. Unable to handle it, my unconscious mind leapt out, was crushed and ruined, then died.
You’ve gone so far away.
Even if I reach out, my hand won’t reach you.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, and all the kings in the world couldn’t put him together again. Not even God. The dreams fall, fall... slamming into the ground. Cracking into pieces like an egg, ending up all over the place. All that remains in my future is blood scattered about a gloomy darkness.
I wanted to live my life with you.
I was supposed to love you.
All I wanted was for you to come out of my belly, to be born. Once the umbilical cord is severed, we can no longer share our dreams.
Even that would have been fine. I wanted you to live, not in dreams, but in reality.
Even if I wasn’t in your dream, it would be fine.
But the one who disappeared was you.
All that’s left is me, with a giant hole in my belly and my heart. - ↑ Yume Nikki: I Am Not in Your Dream Final Chapter / I Am Not in Your Dream: "Finally, I reach the highest part of the hill.
The peak.
When I look behind me, it is a mountain of unbelievable height. It seems I have reached its highest point. There, the ground is a bit cracked. A small hole gapes there, spewing steam that seems to hint at good fortune and to invite sleep.
That hole looks like a crater. It looks like magma, the Earth’s lifeforce itself, could come flowing out. On the other hand, it looks like it could lead to a mysterious and wondrous land. That hole really is so small, and save for a miracle, it does not seem like one could get inside. It is a realistic hole, one that won’t open, no matter how much magic or mysticism one puts into it.
However, I try to go farther in. There’s nowhere else to go, unless I fold myself up and proceed through this hole. If I lop off my appendages and my head, I could make myself smaller. No, concentrate myself. Like a jewel. I try to fold myself up, over and over, but nothing changes.
I try over and over.
Even though I feel like giving up, I muster my courage.
I devote myself to this exhausting effort.
I suddenly fall into the hole.
I can’t make a decent landing, and I hit my backside hard. A violent pain causes me to shriek. But, it doesn’t hurt, it doesn’t. Endure, endure... I grind my teeth and withstand the impact and agony of what it feels like to be crushed.
I stand up.
There is a stairway right before me. It’s a rusted, unreliable stairway that looks like it’s on the verge of crumbling. It’s constructed in a spiral, like DNA, and likely leads deep underground. It stretches farther in, deeper in.
I don’t know where it leads. However, it’s my one and only path. I can no longer turn back. I timidly descend. With each step, the stairs creak, echoing a disquieting sound. Like a dangerous walk across a tightrope.
Finally, the stairway snaps partway down, and I fall once more. This time, it’s not from that great of a height. I soon hit the ground, giving me no time to prepare my body for impact.
I feel like crying.
I sit up, then stand.
I’m in terrible state with my clothes dirtied and torn, but I’ve made it somehow. Maybe it’s the deepest part of the dream. Further, further, and further in still. It’s normally a place where one can’t reach. Surely, within the collective unconscious.
Numerous broken machines are kept here.
They’re huge machines, ones that look like trains. Just as the body is a vehicle for genes, for life. That’s what they appear to symbolize. The trains are completely worn down, with breakdowns and broken parts here and there. They’re vehicles that are broken down and, without serious repairs, will never move again.
They are heavily damaged mechanisms.
But, they’re still here.
I think as I walk along, dizzy, leaning against the machines for support.
hey’re broken down. They’ve fallen ill, gotten tired, and seem ready to give up living. This is my heart, my mind, my life, in this very state. I wasn’t that strong of a vessel. I broke down, let off sparks, lived on, dragging along this husk in desperate need of repair.
However—
I think I have made a huge mistake. The vehicle is broken, but it’s still here. The one who decides whether or not it’s truly useless is me.
No, from the beginning, it was me myself.
This is my dream.
My unconscious.
Within my mind and heart.
The girl with the hat and scarf, those monochromatic sisters, that doctor, all of them are denizens of my dreams. My shadow selves. I can’t speak about anything I don’t know, but that doesn’t mean that’s all there is to the truth.
I tried to admonish, blame, and abandon my shadows — the antagonizers of my ego. Isn’t that evasion? Isn’t that running away? I miscarried my precious child, and she was lost. I fell ill. That’s what I believed.
What if that weren’t true?
What if it were just anxiety, the screams and cries of the shadows, of my unconscious mind? What if truth and reality were different?
What if it had just been a pregnancy riddled with anxiety — anxiety about whether or not I could successfully give birth, about whether I could properly love and care for her? I was afraid of miscarrying and losing my child. No, in that situation, my stomach would just get lighter. I would feel relieved somehow. That’s all I thought.
If I had just quit from the start, I would have felt despair, but nothing worse.
In order to protect my heart and mind, I pretended not to see my own child, about to be born.
From the beginning, I resigned myself to your death and just let myself go on thinking that way.
How ridiculous. I am the worst. Of course, this is just my imagination. I no longer know the difference between right and wrong, or where the truth lies.
But, I want to believe it. From the very depths of ruin, it would be infinitely better.
At the same time, what if my imagination is correct—
I was So sorry.
In my dreams, that girl has died over and over. You, who flew, fell, and died. I sacrificed you in order to protect my own heart and mind. I distanced myself, pretended not to see, averted my eyes. I decided that it was preferable for you to die so I didn’t have to feel pain. Because you were someone else. Because it didn’t have anything to do with me. That’s what I had begun to think.
Of course, unconsciously.
But that’s too horrible. I regret it.
I’m so sorry I’m weak, and I gave up. I’m sorry. But—
But you’ve been right here.
I look up. There is a large life form. It looks like a monster. A monster writhing and moaning in pain......
This is the fruit of my distorted heart.
It looks like a fetus. A frail, dainty, and precious life, with no way to protect itself. Sealed away in the depths of the dream, in the deepest part of my mind, is you. I draw close to you. I apologize over and over, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
I won’t forget again. I won’t seal you deep down here, pretending I don’t see you. I won’t let you feel lonely again. I’ll be by your side. I draw the thing that looks like a fetus near. I hold you, feel your body heat.
It’s warm.
I feel like I’m getting sleepy.
There are times where dreams have predicted reality.
Those could have been coincidences. Or perhaps it was instinct, peeking out statistically from the collective unconscious. Prophecies. Future predictions... So it could be possible that someday, I may have to see you in that absolute worst state, a future where you fly, fall, and die.
However, I will go to great lengths to make sure that doesn’t happen.
I will be brave and draw you close.
I will protect you.
Until you disappear from my dreams, until you come forth from my belly, I will continue to draw you close like this.
I will liberate you, unharmed, so that you are no longer imprisoned in these dreams.
Someday, you and I will no longer be able to share a dream.
I will not be in your dream.
As you will not be in mine.
Because you’|l be gone, at least from my dreams, and we’|I bid farewell.
But, I will find you in reality.
I will hear your first newborn cries.
You will surely open your eyes and look at me.
And with a broad smile, I will say, “Good morning." - ↑ Yume Nikki: I Am Not in Your Dream Chapter 16 / Sleepwalking: "As if you hate the idea, you collect all of the things you have discovered within your dreams that have left an impression upon you. These items that drip with significance, which I call Effects, are reliably preserved within you, like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle coming together to make up who you are.
Among those Effects are those which, on occasion, can impact your surroundings. As you use them, you can set foot into increasingly extraordinary areas.
Each Effect brings with it its own heaviness, and some bring a sense of pain — as you acquire each one, you seem to become more and more exhausted. Becoming fulfilled, growing, but getting more and more tired. It’s almost like becoming an adult.
You continue gathering a variety of Effects.
Like a bicycle, for example. That little vehicle, left in the corner of a fantastical world, moves you farther and faster than ever before. Chasing you as you zip about with such zeal, your braids flying in the wind, is something that brings me a great deal of hardship.
Or like the knife. It seems to be the only weapon that you possess. With it, you walk here and there, stabbing some of the bizarre beings and destroying others. Like the legs that look like they were being grown in some vessel, or the thing overflowing with blood, or the woman that looks like she melted in the hot springs, or the thing that looks like a toy soldier. It is scary for me when you are waving the knife about, and I stay away from you for fear of being stabbed." - ↑ Yume Nikki: I Am Not in Your Dream Chapter 3 / Red Umbrella: "You start to stumble forward, but perplexed, you brush aside your bangs and gaze down at your feet.
A tiny umbrella is lying on the ground.
The vivid, crimson umbrella stands out amidst the unchanging scenery. Without a moment’s hesitation, you pick up the umbrella and open it all the way.
When is it that one would use an umbrella? Mainly when rain falls. As if cause and effect, before and after, switched places — like in Through the Looking-Glass — it suddenly begins to rain.
Raindrops pound the umbrella with a thunderous rhythm.
You pull the red umbrella close to yourself, taking care not to get wet.
The rain is like tears, but it is a symbol of blessing. Tears have a positive function — they are like a sponge that soaks up sadness before they are expelled from the body. They brighten the path before you.
The puddles are blurred by the massive downpour of rain, the water level rising and then overflowing, like clusters of anxiety, and within them, the arguing man and woman disappear without explanation.
As if your worries have been laid to rest, you begin walking along once again, with no set destination.
Perhaps it’s that you’re ignoring your troubles, or possibly that you’re letting the umbrella catch them instead.
Cheerfully." - ↑ Yume Nikki: I Am Not in Your Dream Chapter 13 / The Unconscious Mind: "I’m already baffled, then you suddenly open your umbrella in front of me, as if to block my view.
“Hwha?” I topple back in surprise at your sudden action.
At that same moment, even though we’re inside — it starts to rain. It’s a baffling phenomenon, but as we are in a dream, something like this shouldn’t be too much of a shock. The raindrops hit my cheeks and begin to soak the book I’m holding open, so I close it in a panic.
I look up at you.
“You open an umbrella because rain is falling. That’s reality. That’s the world of the conscious mind. But here, rain falls after you open your umbrella. It’s reversed. Through the Looking-Glass, that story by Lewis Carroll that was like a love letter to the young girl Alice — does hold some important hints. The story of Alice is the story of a dream.”
Reason is topsy-turvy. Cause and effect are swapped.
Because this is a dream.
So that type of logic is fitting here. Through the Looking-Glass is correct in a Jungian psychology sense."
