{{Quote|Piece of shit. Stupid piece of shit. You're a real stupid piece of shit. But I know I'm a piece of shit. That makes me better than all the pieces of shit who don't know they're pieces of shit. Or is it worse? Breakfast. Oh, I don't deserve breakfast. Shut up. Don't feel sorry for yourself. Get breakfast, you stupid fat-ass. These are cookies. This is not breakfast. You are eating cookies. Stop it. Stop eating cookies, go make yourself breakfast. Stop it. Don't eat one more cookie. Put that down. Do not eat that cookie. I can't believe you ate that cookie.|BoJack to himself}}
{{Quote|Piece of shit. Stupid piece of shit. You're a real stupid piece of shit. But I know I'm a piece of shit. That makes me better than all the pieces of shit who don't know they're pieces of shit. Or is it worse? Breakfast. Oh, I don't deserve breakfast. Shut up. Don't feel sorry for yourself. Get breakfast, you stupid fat-ass. These are cookies. This is not breakfast. You are eating cookies. Stop it. Stop eating cookies, go make yourself breakfast. Stop it. Don't eat one more cookie. Put that down. Do not eat that cookie. I can't believe you ate that cookie.|BoJack to himself}}
{{Quote|Go talk to her, idiot. Drink first. No, you stupid alcoholic. Talk to your daughter. You're ruining her. You know that, right? No matter what, your poison is already in her. There's nothing you can do. That's not true. Yeah, it is, you stupid piece of shit. You're a real stupid piece of shit, and everywhere you go you destroy people. Your mother never loved you. That's why Sarah Lynn died, Charlotte'll never forgive you. What you gonna do to Hollyhock? What you gonna do, asshole? Shut up!|BoJack to himself}}
{{Quote|Go talk to her, idiot. Drink first. No, you stupid alcoholic. Talk to your daughter. You're ruining her. You know that, right? No matter what, your poison is already in her. There's nothing you can do. That's not true. Yeah, it is, you stupid piece of shit. You're a real stupid piece of shit, and everywhere you go you destroy people. Your mother never loved you. That's why Sarah Lynn died, Charlotte'll never forgive you. What you gonna do to Hollyhock? What you gonna do, asshole? Shut up!|BoJack to himself}}
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{{!}}-{{!}}Bobo the Angsty Zebra=[[File:Bobotheangstyzebra.webp|right|300px]]
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Revision as of 03:27, 11 July 2022
“
You know, sometimes I think I was born with a leak, and any goodness I started with just slowly spilled out of me and now it's all gone. And I'll never get it back in me. It's too late. Life is a series of closing doors, isn't it?
„
~ BoJack to Vincent Adultman
“
'Cause I—I think the show's actually pretty solid for what it is. It's not Ibsen, sure—but look, for a lot of people, life is just one long, hard kick in the urethra. And sometimes, when you get home from a long day of getting kicked in the urethra, you just want to watch a show about good, likable people who love each other. Where, y'know, no matter what happens, at the end of 30 minutes... everything's gonna turn out okay. Y'know, because in real life... Did I already say the thing about the urethra?
„
~ BoJack to Charlie Rose
“
I told you, that's not what was happening that time. I was masturbating to what the picture represented! You walked in at the worst possible moment.
„
“
Oh, not the sneezing pic—Why do they always use the sneezing picture?!
„
“
You left them totally out in the open! That’s hiding? How did you survive in Afghanistan?!
„
“
Yes, I ate all the muffins, because I have no self-control and I hate myself!
„
“
Slap my salami, the guy's a commie.
„
“
I don't cry in front of other people.
„
~ BoJack to Kelsey
“
Settle. Because otherwise you’re just gonna get older and harder, and more alone. And you’re gonna do everything you can to fill that hole, with friends, and your career, and meaningless sex, but the hole doesn’t get filled. One day, you’re gonna look around and you’re going to realize that everybody loves you, but nobody likes you. And that is the loneliest feeling in the world.
„
~ BoJack Horseman on how he sees marriage
“
I want to feel good about myself. The way you do. And I don’t know-how. I don’t know if I can
„
~ BoJack Horseman to Mr. Peanutbutter
“
That was, and I don't say this lightly, worse than a hundred September Elevens
„
~ BoJack to Todd
“
My question is for Diane. Look, I'm sorry about all the stuff I said about you earlier. We can publish the book you wrote. You're obviously a better writer than I am, and I don't actually even really care what the world thinks about me anymore. I just hated reading that book because I hated feeling like that's how you saw me. Because I guess you know me better than anybody, and if you think that— Um, I guess my question is, do you.. Do you think it's too late for me? I mean, am I just doomed to be the person that I am? The The person in that book? It's not too late for me, is it? It's— It's not too late Diane, I need you to tell me that it's not too late. I— I need you to tell me that I'm a good person. I know that I can be selfish and narcissistic and self-destructive, but underneath all that, deep down, I'm a good person, and I need you to tell me that I'm good, Diane. Tell me, please, Diane. Tell me that I'm good.
„
~ BoJack desperately wanting Diane to say that he is a good person
“
You know, I don't do the whole "Love" thing. It's either you hurt someone or you end up getting hurt
„
~ BoJack
“
See, Sarah Lynn, we're not doomed. In the great grand scheme of things, we're just tiny specks that will one day be forgotten. So, it doesn't matter what we did in the past, or how we'll be remembered. The only thing that matters is right now, this moment, this one spectacular moment we are sharing together. Right, Sarah Lynn?—Sarah Lynn?
„
~ BoJack to Sarah Lynn who had feel unconcious
“
The funeral was huge. There were so many people there. I kept thinking, "I did this to her," and everyone was just standing around like, "Well, this was bound to happen," but it wasn't bound to happen. I don't know how to be, Diane. It doesn't get better and it doesn't get easier. I can't keep lying to myself, saying "I'm gonna change." I'm poison - I come from poison. I have poison inside me, and I destroy everything I touch. That's my legacy. I have nothing to show for the life that I've lived, and I have nobody in my life who's better off for having known me.
„
~ BoJack to Diane
“
Then after the show, I'll come out and say hello. And she'll say, "BoJack? Is that you?" When her eyes spark with recognition, I'm gonna sit down next to her, I'm gonna squeeze her hand and get real close and say - "Fuck you, Mom." I can finally tell her off! I'm gonna say, "Look at you", you old piece of shit, rotting in a nursing home!" - Now I have the power! Oh, it's gonna be great! I can't wait to see the look on her face. Okay, let's do this. Let's put on a show!.
„
~ BoJack wanting to end his relationship with his mom
“
Oh! In that case, please watch me not reach for my wallet. Well, this is your life now. This is what it all added up to. You, by yourself, in this room. Best of luck. See ya never.
„
~ BoJack leaving his mom to die in a terrible house
“
My mom died and all I got was this free churro. You know the shittiest thing about all of this? Is when that stranger behind the counter gave me that free churro, that small act of kindness showed more compassion than my mother gave me her entire goddamn life. Like, how hard is it to do something nice for a person? This woman at the Jack in the Box didn't even know me. I'm your son! All I had was you!
I didn't like the person I was in L.A. And I didn't know where else to go. - Please do not tell your parents
„
~ BoJack to Penny
“
Please, don't make me go back to L.A
„
~ BoJack to Charlotte
“
Well my parents practiced the art of being terrible parents
„
“
Well, looks like you finally got your crossover episode
„
~ BoJack to Mr. Peanutbutter
“
Yeah, well what are you gonna do. Life’s a bitch and then you die, right?
„
“
Yeah. This is nice.
„
~ BoJack's final quote
“
Who wants chocolate chip pancakes?
„
“
You gotta give the people what they want, even if it kills you, even if it empties you out until there's nothing left to empty. No matter what happens, no matter how much it hurts, you don't stop dancing, and you don't stop smiling, and you give those people what they want.
„
~ BoJack's words to Sarah Lynn when she was a child that scarred her
“
Now, boys and girls
If you wanna do the BoJack
Take your hands
And put them on your lower back
Walk in a circle and strut and strut
Wiggle your hips
And jiggle your (uh-oh!)
Push away your troubles
And pull up your pants
And that's how you do The BoJack dance!
„
“
I will
„
~ BoJack promising he will be worth something
“
Nobody gives a damn what you feel! You've got an audience out there, and they want to hear you sing. Now, you want your mommy to love you? You go out there and you do the only thing you're good for, which is singing the goddamn Lollipop Song!
„
~ Beatrice's words that scarred BoJack
“
Piece of shit. Stupid piece of shit. You're a real stupid piece of shit. But I know I'm a piece of shit. That makes me better than all the pieces of shit who don't know they're pieces of shit. Or is it worse? Breakfast. Oh, I don't deserve breakfast. Shut up. Don't feel sorry for yourself. Get breakfast, you stupid fat-ass. These are cookies. This is not breakfast. You are eating cookies. Stop it. Stop eating cookies, go make yourself breakfast. Stop it. Don't eat one more cookie. Put that down. Do not eat that cookie. I can't believe you ate that cookie.
„
~ BoJack to himself
“
Go talk to her, idiot. Drink first. No, you stupid alcoholic. Talk to your daughter. You're ruining her. You know that, right? No matter what, your poison is already in her. There's nothing you can do. That's not true. Yeah, it is, you stupid piece of shit. You're a real stupid piece of shit, and everywhere you go you destroy people. Your mother never loved you. That's why Sarah Lynn died, Charlotte'll never forgive you. What you gonna do to Hollyhock? What you gonna do, asshole? Shut up!
BoJack F. Horseman is the main character of BoJack Horseman. BoJack was raised by parents that barely cared for BoJack and treated him as a clown and that he ruined his mom's life. BoJack would watch Secretariat and wanted to be just like him. Secretariat would tell BoJack on TV that what he should do is just keep on running which was words he internalized. After Secretariat killed himself, BoJack went to comedy as comfort. BoJack's mom started throwing dinner parties and when BoJack told his mom that he wanted to stop singing the Lolipop song, she told him no one cares about what he thinks and how he needs to keep performing which was a message he would later share to Sarah Lynn in his adult years. All BoJack wanted to do as a child was to make his parents happy but they never showed him even an ounce of love. BoJack became a famous TV Star in the 90's after he moved away from his abusive parents in order to seek attention from other people and a better life. Despite Horsin' Around getting negative reviews, it was a massive success that made BoJack a star in Hollywood. Due to BoJack's abusive childhood and with how much fame corrupted him, he would eventually turn in a person who extremely selfish and was willing to let his friends take the fall for the things he did, and he scarred Sarah Lynn for life and would eventually take advantage of her in her adult years. After the show ended, BoJack started a new show known as The BoJack Horseman Show which just hurt his reputation more and was massive flop. During this time, BoJack would try to get Sarah Lynn on the show which she rejected and was hurt by BoJack as all she wanted to see was a friend. After the show ended, BoJack's father would die in 2009.
BoJack is a desperate person who wants to keep everyone in his life near him despite is toxic and self-destructive habits. BoJack is aware this and despite how much he hates himself for his actions, he normally fails to change. His actions would lead to many of his friends leaving him, the death of Sarah Lynn (although he didn't mean for her to die), and multiple lives being ruined or harmed because of him. BoJack tried to take his life many times but always found a reason to keep going or made sure he could survive. BoJack can best be described as a "self-pitying masochist".
Name: BoJack Horseman, BoJ, Horse/The Horse (Character on Horsin' Around), The Horse from Horsin' Around (By random people on the street), Mr. Peanutbutter (By Quentin Tarantulino, character on the scrapped film Mr. Peanutbutter's Hollywoo Heist), BJ (by Herb Kazzaz), Secretariat (Character in movie of the same name), Chadwick Boseman (Misnaming by Daniel Radcliffe in "Let's Find Out"), BJ Novak (Misnaming by Daniel Radcliffe in "Let's Find Out"), BoJangles (Misnaming by Daniel Radcliffe in "Let's Find Out"), JockJam DoorSlam (Misnaming by Daniel Radcliffe in "Let's Find Out"), Hambone Fakenamington (By himself to Eddie in "The Old Sugarman Place"), Henrietta (By Beatrice Horseman in her early onslaught of Dementia), John Philbert/ Philbert (Character on "Philbert"), BoBo the Angsty Zebra (By Dr. Indira in "INT. SUB"), Horse Guy (Henry Winkler), Horse Professor (By his students at Wesleyan University), Professor Horseman (By students and faculty at Wesleyan University), Dead Body #4 (Role on Birthday Dad in The Horny Unicorn)
Origin: BoJack Horseman
Sex: Male
Age: 57
Classification: Horse
Status:Alive (Despite attempts to kill himself or all of his near-death experiences, he has survived them all)
Standard Tactics: BoJack leads with physicals in combat but would use his gun if he has it
Weaknesses: BoJack suffers from abuse and depression and has to use drugs and alcohol to cope with his problems. BoJack hates himself and has tried to kill himself many times before. BoJack seems himself as a terrible person who cannot change. He would harm the lives of people around by how self-absorbed he is. BoJack doesn't want to be alone and escaped his abusive home to get attention. Also, he hates Honeydew.
Note: Do not attempt to upgrade BoJack based off him being able to damage a wall and survive this as these feats wouldn't even be above Tier 10.
Trivia
As of the setting of the series, BoJack weighs some 1,200 lbs (544 kg), and is 6'6 (198 cm) or 19.75 hands tall.
Despite being 1200 pounds, other characters do not have much trouble dragging BoJack or lifting him up.
One time, at a Christmas party, BoJack sneezed on Marisa Tomei. Embarrassed, he jumped off the balcony and ended up in a full-body cast.
The picture of him sneezing is used whenever he is talked about on the news or other related presentations as a running gag in the series.
Netflix also has this image of BoJack for their BoJack Horseman account icons.
According to the BoJack Horseman art blog on Tumblr (BojartHorseblog), BoJack is 15.2 hands at the withers and is close to 19.75 hands tall if he is being measured to the top of his ears, which BoJack prefers
BoJack hates honeydew, and once a season he, or sometimes another character, will be seen mentioning it, showing disgust for it, or ranting about it.
In the Season 1 episode One Trick Pony, he complains how on set there is too much honeydew in the fruit bowl.
It is also revealed Princess Carolyn also hates it, calling it garbage fruit, although later Mr. Peanutbutter is revealed to love it.
In the Season 2 episode Hank After Dark, while talking to Wanda on the phone he gets distracted by honeydew on the fruit plates backstage at MSNBSea and angrily rants about how "whenever cantalope gets invited to a party it thinks it can bring its lame friend honeydew."
Later in the same episode. Princess Carolyn is disgusted by the honeydew on the fruit plates at Manatee Fair.
In the Season 3 episode Stop the Presses, Ana reveals to BoJack her favorite fruit is honeydew, to which BoJack reacts in disgust.
In the Season 4 episode What Time is It Right Now, Hollyhock mentions during her call to BoJack that the airport she’s at charged her ten dollars for a fruit cup and its mostly honeydew, which angers BoJack. Hollyhock also expresses her disgust, calling it the worst part of everything it’s in - the Jared Leto of fruits
In the Season 5 episode Planned Obsolescence, BoJack is offended Gina would rather listen to her music than listen to him rant about the fruit spread. Gina questions if its honeydew related, BoJack says it’s in the honeydew area but the specifics keep it fresh.
In part one of Season 6, in The Face of Depression, BoJack notices the entire fruit plate at the AA meeting is honeydew. He begins to say "goddamn" as the opening credits start.
In part two of Season 6, in the finale Nice While It Lasted, BoJack actually tries honeydew at Princess Carolyn and Judah’s wedding and finally admits it’s not bad.
Based on its views of Downtown L.A.'s skyline and close proximity to the Hollywood Sign (as demonstrated in Our A-Story is a "D" Storyamong other episodes), BoJack's house seems to be located just east of Hollywood Reservoir perched above Bronson Canyon.
Incidentally, the neighborhood is home to Sunset Ranch, which is well-known for horseback riding. It's also quite close to Griffith Observatory, which was of great sentimental significance to BoJack and Herb Kazzaz as well as the location of Sarah Lynn'soverdose.
The writers have stated that they only have someone say the f word once per season, and it only happens when BoJack has permanently ruined a relationship:
In Season 1 it was Herb Kazzaz in The Telescope, when he was going to die soon from rectal cancer and he rejected BoJack’s apology for abandoning him in the 90s after the network executives fired him for being caught in a gay-related scandal. Herb wasn’t upset about getting fired, but the fact that BoJack betrayed him, and he says “Now get the fuck out of my house!”
Season 2 was Charlotte Moore in Escape from L.A., after she caught him in bed (on his boat) with Penny, with Penny about to undress him. This scene happens after BoJack and Charlotte kiss and he begs her to run away with him and confesses he’s loved her all this time, and she rejected him and tells him to leave because he makes her too sad. After Charlotte orders Penny to go to her room she tells BoJack to leave in 30 minutes or she’ll call the police, and “if you ever try to contact me or my family again, I will fucking kill you."
Season 3 was Todd Chavez in It's You, after BoJack reveals that he slept with Emily, whom Todd had been trying to figure out his feelings for. BoJack tries to apologize, but Todd says feeling bad for the shitty things doesn’t make them ok (which is what BoJack keeps doing). He also tells BoJack “You are everything that is wrong with you. It’s not the drugs, or the alcohol, or the shitty things that happened to you in your career, or when you were a kid. It’s you.” He then says “Fuck, man. What else is there to say?”
Season 4 is actually BoJack’s himself, in Thoughts and Prayers. He takes Hollyhock to visits Beatrice at her nursing home and discovers she has dementia and no longer recognizes him. He cooks up a plan to get her to recognize him, and he says when she does, he’ll squeeze her hand, get real close, and say “Fuck You, Mom!," in order to tell her off for being a horrible mother to him.
Season 5 was Gina Cazador in The Showstopper, after BoJack, after having mistaken his show Philbert and reality for each other for the entire episode under the influence of pills and alcohol despite her best efforts, almost strangles her to death while shooting a scene. After they are pulled apart by the crew, Gina says "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
BoJack bears a strong resemblance to his late uncle Crackerjack, his mom's brother. The two share similar facial features, dark brown fur, and a white snippet and pink spot on their noses and lips.
One Trick Pony, which took place in 2014, has BoJack reveal he is fifty-years-old, which also indirectly reveals he was born in 1964.
His birthday is revealed to be January 2nd, 1964 in Stop the Presses.
This retcons BoJack Hates the Troops, where a flashback to BoJack’s birthday as a child shows Butterscotch reading a newspaper announcing The Beatles split, which would have set his birthday in April.
Stop the Presses reveals several things about BoJack through his L.A. Gazette account:
He was born on January 2nd, 1964.
He is a Grade/thoroughbred cross horse with medium bay fur and a star and snip marking.
He weighs 1,200 lbs.
He is 19.75 hands tall
He has a buck knee, splay foot, ewe neck, wall eye, pot belly, and sweet tooth.
His temperament is related 9/10, and is mentioned he is spooky, stubborn, unpredictable, and suffers from substance abuse.
He has had more than 100 sexual partners throughout his life.
BoJack still has the sweater he wore on Horsin' Around, but now his stomach hangs out of it, due to him being much slimmer during those years.
In Thoughts and Prayers, it revealed that BoJack played football when he was a teenager.
The episode also revealed that in 8th grade he was in choir. He describes his solo a bit "shaky", and his mother pretended not to know him and forces him to get a ride home from the pianist who according to BoJack, "liked to tickle more than just the ivories." When BoJack came home safe, his mother said "I guess nobody wants you."
This is why he is skeptical of her dementia at first.
Menoxidil: forehead reducer. This is used for certain types of baldness
Heart Burn medicine
Avanafil, a medicine used for erectile dysfunction
Fluvastatin, a medicine that lowers high cholesterol
Bupropion, a medicine used to help quit smoking and/or help prevent types of depression, namely seasonal affective disorder (SAD)
The blue pentagon-shaped pills are likely a form of dexamethasone, which treats inflammation
Pain Free, which is likely just ibuprofen (pain killers)
In The View from Halfway Down, during the dinner, Zach Braff serves BoJack pills. Since everyone's meals are what they ate or encountered right before they died, BoJack is served pills because he died from a drug overdose.