User:Cerberusleuth/pp

FML

Humans

“	PUT THE BUNNY BACK IN THE BOX. I SAID, PUT THE BUNNY BACK IN THE BOX. WHY COULDN'T YOU PUT THE BUNNY BACK IN THE BOX?	„
	~ Narration to John when he looks at the Con Air poster

“	ok thats fine, but i just have one question and then a word of caution. have you ever seen a movie called little monsters starring howie mandel and fred savage?	„
	~ John trying to trick Dave into thinking his Apple Juice is actually piss

“	"The moon's an arrant thief, and her pale fire she snatches from the sun." -Mark Twain You are almost certain Mark Twain said that.	„
	~ Narration

Background

John Egbert is the main protagonist of Homestuck

Statistics

Key:

Tier:

Name: John Egbert, Zoosmell Pooplord (rejected joke name),

Origin: Homestuck

Sex: Male

Age: 13 years old BoS,

Classification:

Status:

Alignment:

Dimensionality:

Attack Potency:

Durability:

Striking Strength:

Lifting Strength: Higher with Sylladex (Able to store Colonel Sassacre's Daunting Text with his Sylladex)

Travel Speed:

Combat Speed:

Reaction Speed:

Stamina:

Range:

Intelligence: (Managed to live 13 years without a name. Can program computers, but not really got at it. Is an amateur magician. Quickly got used to the system of SBURB.)

---

Powers and Abilities

Superhuman Physical Characteristics, Observation and Breaking the Fourth Wall (Type 2: John Egberted rejected his crude joke name by merely not liking it and then accepted his proper name), Divine Protection (Protected by the reader; The Reader lifted the cake off of the chest for John), Dimensional Storage (All Sburb Players have a sylladex that they can stash items into), Fusionism (Able to fuse items together; John merged the hammer card and the nail card into one, as well as merged the magician's hat and beagle puss into a clever disguise and later his father's pipe), Power Modification and Weapon Usage (Able to modify tools and objects to use as a specibus; John uses a hammer),

Resistance to Plot Manipulation (Able to resist commands from the narrative; John didn't "squawk like an imbecile and shit on his desk", refused to eat cake when the narration told him to,),

---

Standard Equipment

Fake Arms, Smoke Pellets, Poster, Hammer and Nails, Game Bro Magazine, Colonel Sassacre's Daunting Text, Magician's Hat, Ashes of his dead nanny,

---

Notable Techniques

John storing smoke pellets

• Sylladex: Something every Sburb Player has. Using this, John can store items in it for later purposes.
• Merging: John can merge items in the sylladex, saving space as well as potentially altering their purpose.

---

Other

Standard Tactics:

Weaknesses: Cannot access items from the back of his sylladex and must eject it to use it. If his Sylladex is full and can't store more items, the last item will be ejected.

Gallery

• 

Battle Records

None.

None.

None.

Statistics

Key:

Tier:

Name:

Origin:

Sex:

Age:

Classification:

Status:

Alignment:

Dimensionality:

Attack Potency:

Durability:

Striking Strength:

Lifting Strength:

Travel Speed:

Combat Speed:

Reaction Speed:

Stamina:

Range:

Intelligence:

---

Powers and Abilities

Clairvoyance (Able to tell that John was wearing his disguise from afar)

---

---

---

Other

Standard Tactics:

Weaknesses:

Battle Records

None.

None.

None.

Statistics

Key:

Tier:

Name:

Origin:

Sex:

Age:

Classification:

Status:

Alignment:

Dimensionality:

Attack Potency:

Durability:

Striking Strength:

Lifting Strength:

Travel Speed:

Combat Speed:

Reaction Speed:

Stamina:

Range:

Intelligence:

---

---

---

---

Other

Standard Tactics:

Weaknesses:

Battle Records

None.

None.

None.

Statistics

Key:

Tier:

Name:

Origin:

Sex:

Age:

Classification:

Status:

Alignment:

Dimensionality:

Attack Potency:

Durability:

Striking Strength:

Lifting Strength:

Travel Speed:

Combat Speed:

Reaction Speed:

Stamina:

Range:

Intelligence:

---

---

---

---

Other

Standard Tactics:

Weaknesses:

Battle Records

None.

None.

None.