User:Say Abracadavre Now/Sandbox

“	You know, sometimes I think I was born with a leak, and any goodness I started with just slowly spilled out of me and now it's all gone. And I'll never get it back in me. It's too late. Life is a series of closing doors, isn't it?	„
	~ BoJack to Vincent Adultman

“	'Cause I—I think the show's actually pretty solid for what it is. It's not Ibsen, sure—but look, for a lot of people, life is just one long, hard kick in the urethra. And sometimes, when you get home from a long day of getting kicked in the urethra, you just want to watch a show about good, likable people who love each other. Where, y'know, no matter what happens, at the end of 30 minutes... everything's gonna turn out okay. Y'know, because in real life... Did I already say the thing about the urethra?	„
	~ BoJack to Charlie Rose

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I told you, that's not what was happening that time. I was masturbating to what the picture represented! You walked in at the worst possible moment.

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Oh, not the sneezing pic—Why do they always use the sneezing picture?!

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You left them totally out in the open! That’s hiding? How did you survive in Afghanistan?!

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Yes, I ate all the muffins, because I have no self-control and I hate myself!

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Slap my salami, the guy's a commie.

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“	I don't cry in front of other people.	„
	~ BoJack to Kelsey

“	Settle. Because otherwise you’re just gonna get older and harder, and more alone. And you’re gonna do everything you can to fill that hole, with friends, and your career, and meaningless sex, but the hole doesn’t get filled. One day, you’re gonna look around and you’re going to realize that everybody loves you, but nobody likes you. And that is the loneliest feeling in the world.	„
	~ BoJack Horseman on how he sees marriage

“	I want to feel good about myself. The way you do. And I don’t know-how. I don’t know if I can	„
	~ BoJack Horseman to Mr. Peanutbutter

“	That was, and I don't say this lightly, worse than a hundred September Elevens	„
	~ BoJack to Todd

“	My question is for Diane. Look, I'm sorry about all the stuff I said about you earlier. We can publish the book you wrote. You're obviously a better writer than I am, and I don't actually even really care what the world thinks about me anymore. I just hated reading that book because I hated feeling like that's how you saw me. Because I guess you know me better than anybody, and if you think that— Um, I guess my question is, do you.. Do you think it's too late for me? I mean, am I just doomed to be the person that I am? The The person in that book? It's not too late for me, is it? It's— It's not too late Diane, I need you to tell me that it's not too late. I— I need you to tell me that I'm a good person. I know that I can be selfish and narcissistic and self-destructive, but underneath all that, deep down, I'm a good person, and I need you to tell me that I'm good, Diane. Tell me, please, Diane. Tell me that I'm good.	„
	~ BoJack desperately wanting Diane to say that he is a good person

“	You know, I don't do the whole "Love" thing. It's either you hurt someone or you end up getting hurt	„
	~ BoJack

“	See, Sarah Lynn, we're not doomed. In the great grand scheme of things, we're just tiny specks that will one day be forgotten. So, it doesn't matter what we did in the past, or how we'll be remembered. The only thing that matters is right now, this moment, this one spectacular moment we are sharing together. Right, Sarah Lynn?—Sarah Lynn?	„
	~ BoJack to Sarah Lynn who had feel unconcious

“	The funeral was huge. There were so many people there. I kept thinking, "I did this to her," and everyone was just standing around like, "Well, this was bound to happen," but it wasn't bound to happen. I don't know how to be, Diane. It doesn't get better and it doesn't get easier. I can't keep lying to myself, saying "I'm gonna change." I'm poison - I come from poison. I have poison inside me, and I destroy everything I touch. That's my legacy. I have nothing to show for the life that I've lived, and I have nobody in my life who's better off for having known me.	„
	~ BoJack to Diane

“	Then after the show, I'll come out and say hello. And she'll say, "BoJack? Is that you?" When her eyes spark with recognition, I'm gonna sit down next to her, I'm gonna squeeze her hand and get real close and say - "Fuck you, Mom." I can finally tell her off! I'm gonna say, "Look at you", you old piece of shit, rotting in a nursing home!" - Now I have the power! Oh, it's gonna be great! I can't wait to see the look on her face. Okay, let's do this. Let's put on a show!.	„
	~ BoJack wanting to end his relationship with his mom

“	Oh! In that case, please watch me not reach for my wallet. Well, this is your life now. This is what it all added up to. You, by yourself, in this room. Best of luck. See ya never.	„
	~ BoJack leaving his mom to die in a terrible house

“

My mom died and all I got was this free churro. You know the shittiest thing about all of this? Is when that stranger behind the counter gave me that free churro, that small act of kindness showed more compassion than my mother gave me her entire goddamn life. Like, how hard is it to do something nice for a person? This woman at the Jack in the Box didn't even know me. I'm your son! All I had was you!

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Gina, I'm not kidding. The pills, now!

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“	I didn't like the person I was in L.A. And I didn't know where else to go. - Please do not tell your parents	„
	~ BoJack to Penny

“	Please, don't make me go back to L.A	„
	~ BoJack to Charlotte

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Well my parents practiced the art of being terrible parents

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“	Well, looks like you finally got your crossover episode	„
	~ BoJack to Mr. Peanutbutter

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Yeah, well what are you gonna do. Life’s a bitch and then you die, right?

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“	Yeah. This is nice.	„
	~ BoJack's final quote

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Who wants chocolate chip pancakes?

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“	You gotta give the people what they want, even if it kills you, even if it empties you out until there's nothing left to empty. No matter what happens, no matter how much it hurts, you don't stop dancing, and you don't stop smiling, and you give those people what they want.	„
	~ BoJack's words to Sarah Lynn when she was a child that scarred her

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Now, boys and girls If you wanna do the BoJack Take your hands And put them on your lower back Walk in a circle and strut and strut Wiggle your hips And jiggle your (uh-oh!) Push away your troubles And pull up your pants And that's how you do The BoJack dance!

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“	I will	„
	~ BoJack promising he will be worth something

“	Nobody gives a damn what you feel! You've got an audience out there, and they want to hear you sing. Now, you want your mommy to love you? You go out there and you do the only thing you're good for, which is singing the goddamn Lollipop Song!	„
	~ Beatrice's words that scarred BoJack

“	Piece of shit. Stupid piece of shit. You're a real stupid piece of shit. But I know I'm a piece of shit. That makes me better than all the pieces of shit who don't know they're pieces of shit. Or is it worse? Breakfast. Oh, I don't deserve breakfast. Shut up. Don't feel sorry for yourself. Get breakfast, you stupid fat-ass. These are cookies. This is not breakfast. You are eating cookies. Stop it. Stop eating cookies, go make yourself breakfast. Stop it. Don't eat one more cookie. Put that down. Do not eat that cookie. I can't believe you ate that cookie.	„
	~ BoJack to himself

“	Go talk to her, idiot. Drink first. No, you stupid alcoholic. Talk to your daughter. You're ruining her. You know that, right? No matter what, your poison is already in her. There's nothing you can do. That's not true. Yeah, it is, you stupid piece of shit. You're a real stupid piece of shit, and everywhere you go you destroy people. Your mother never loved you. That's why Sarah Lynn died, Charlotte'll never forgive you. What you gonna do to Hollyhock? What you gonna do, asshole? Shut up!	„
	~ BoJack to himself

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Todd! I need help!

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Background

BoJack F. Horseman is the main character of BoJack Horseman. BoJack was raised by parents that barely cared for BoJack and treated him as a clown and that he ruined his mom's life. BoJack would watch Secretariat and wanted to be just like him. Secretariat would tell BoJack on TV that what he should do is just keep on running which was words he internalized. After Secretariat killed himself, BoJack went to comedy as comfort. BoJack's mom started throwing dinner parties and when BoJack told his mom that he wanted to stop singing the Lolipop song, she told him no one cares about what he thinks and how he needs to keep performing which was a message he would later share to Sarah Lynn in his adult years. All BoJack wanted to do as a child was to make his parents happy but they never showed him even an ounce of love. BoJack became a famous TV Star in the 90's after he moved away from his abusive parents in order to seek attention from other people and a better life. Despite Horsin' Around getting negative reviews, it was a massive success that made BoJack a star in Hollywood. Due to BoJack's abusive childhood and with how much fame corrupted him, he would eventually turn in a person who extremely selfish and was willing to let his friends take the fall for the things he did, and he scarred Sarah Lynn for life and would eventually take advantage of her in her adult years. After the show ended, BoJack started a new show known as The BoJack Horseman Show which just hurt his reputation more and was massive flop. During this time, BoJack would try to get Sarah Lynn on the show which she rejected and was hurt by BoJack as all she wanted to see was a friend. After the show ended, BoJack's father would die in 2009.

BoJack is a desperate person who wants to keep everyone in his life near him despite is toxic and self-destructive habits. BoJack is aware this and despite how much he hates himself for his actions, he normally fails to change. His actions would lead to many of his friends leaving him, the death of Sarah Lynn (although he didn't mean for her to die), and multiple lives being ruined or harmed because of him. BoJack tried to take his life many times but always found a reason to keep going or made sure he could survive. BoJack can best be described as a "self-pitying masochist".

Statistics

Tier: 10-B, 9-C with his gun

Name: BoJack Horseman, BoJ, Horse/The Horse (Character on Horsin' Around), The Horse from Horsin' Around (By random people on the street), Mr. Peanutbutter (By Quentin Tarantulino, character on the scrapped film Mr. Peanutbutter's Hollywoo Heist), BJ (by Herb Kazzaz), Secretariat (Character in movie of the same name), Chadwick Boseman (Misnaming by Daniel Radcliffe in "Let's Find Out"), BJ Novak (Misnaming by Daniel Radcliffe in "Let's Find Out"), BoJangles (Misnaming by Daniel Radcliffe in "Let's Find Out"), JockJam DoorSlam (Misnaming by Daniel Radcliffe in "Let's Find Out"), Hambone Fakenamington (By himself to Eddie in "The Old Sugarman Place"), Henrietta (By Beatrice Horseman in her early onslaught of Dementia), John Philbert/ Philbert (Character on "Philbert"), BoBo the Angsty Zebra (By Dr. Indira in "INT. SUB"), Horse Guy (Henry Winkler), Horse Professor (By his students at Wesleyan University), Professor Horseman (By students and faculty at Wesleyan University), Dead Body #4 (Role on Birthday Dad in The Horny Unicorn)

Origin: BoJack Horseman

Sex: Male

Age: 57

Classification: Horse

Status: Alive (Despite attempts to kill himself or all of his near-death experiences, he has survived them all)

Alignment: Neutral Good as a kid and starting out in Hollywood (BoJack didn't do anything wrong as a kid and was just dealing with his bad parents most of the time. Although the reason why BoJack wanted to become famous was because he wanted to distract himself all the time and so he wouldn’t be alone. However, the trauma from his childhood shaped who he would later become), Chaotic Neutral as of becoming a star and up to Season 5 (BoJack got one of his friends fired from Horsin' Around as BoJack brought alcohol that Sarah Lynn got ahold of any the person they could blame was Sharona. BoJack scared Sarah Lynn when she was a child by telling her that no one will love her expect for her fans who she has to keep pleasing for her entire life. BoJack started drinking on set and became hard to work with. BoJack was fine with letting Herb get fired as he would lose his own fame and it is later shown that Herb became suicidal after losing his show. After Horsin' Around ended, BoJack hasn't been doing much with his life besides The BoJack Horseman Show which was canceled. BoJack was behind the edgiest of The BoJack Horseman Show which caused it to have negative reviews and while he realized that it could further hurt his reputation, he went along with it as he purposely didn't want the show to be better than Horsin' Around. Although he later blamed other people for the failure of his show by saying that people weren't ready for it. BoJack was pressured to ask Sarah Lynn if she wanted to be in the show because she was the most famous star in the world but she declined and only wanted to see BoJack because she was sick of people taking advantage of her. In Season 1, BoJack shows a lack of care for his friends such as when he called Todd worse than tapeworms and his girlfriend at the time, Princess Carolyn, broke up with him due to his lack of commitment to start a family and he had sex with another women. BoJack cares deeply about what people think about him and wants his book to paint him in a good light. BoJack was willing to drag on an argument instead of just apologizing on taking a Navy SEAL's muffins by insulting the troops and he only apologized at the last minute. BoJack also admitted that he has no self-control and he hates himself in the same episode. BoJack took advantage of Sarah Lynn in her adult years by supporting her drug addiction and he had sex with her when he was a father figure to her. BoJack doesn't want people to leave him so badly that he insulted his friend's Rock Opera by calling it "worse than a hundred September Elevens" and he later sabotaged his Rock Opera by getting him addicted to a video game so he wouldn't move out. BoJack told Diane's family that Diane isn't even a big shot like they thought which made them make fun of her although he later cheered her up by telling her that what her family thinks doesn't matter. BoJack started to fall in love with Diane and while drunk, he stole the Hollywood "D" and tried to impress her. BoJack avoided working on a commercial to go to Princess Carylon because he always goes to her when his life is bad. While on a date with her, BoJack asks "what are they doing" and talks about how they are trying to hate themselves less. BoJack gets a call from her later asking if he wanted to be a part of a movie and he responded with "It doesn't matter. Nothing matters" after the terrible experience with Herb. Herb refused to accept his apology and told him that he's nothing but a selfish coward. BoJack later kissed Diane who had a boyfriend at the time. BoJack tried to sabotage Diane's wedding by staging a robbery but failed . He later tried to sabotage the wedding by having it take place at his restaurant but couldn't come up with a way to sabotage it. BoJack fired Diane as the book she wrote about him painting him as an asshole. BoJack tried to write the book himself but instead got very high with Sarah Lynn and Todd. In his hallucinations, he saw a life that he could have lived and he later tries to get it in Season 2. BoJack asked Diane that despite all of the terrible things that he's done, if he is still a good person with Diane not being able to answer him. In Season 2, BoJack started trying to have a more positive attitude although he was crushed after hearing he was born broken. BoJack admitted that he doesn't hang out or spend time with the women he has sex with but with Wanda, he wanted to take her to Disneyland. BoJack was afraid of Wanda falling in love with Alex so much that he spied on him and found out that he was Russian Spy and she got mad at BoJack for doing that. BoJack was afraid of his relationship becoming bad with Wanda after seeing Mr. Peanutbutter and Diane argue. In the same episode, BoJack hit a deer and wanted to flee the scene but Wanda didn't let that happen. BoJack desperately wanted his boss to like him because of his own insecurities and having an authority figure approve of him. Although he was willing to comfort his boss by telling them that they weren't a terrible mother. BoJack doesn't want to admit that he loves people and after telling Wanda that he loved her, he immediately said that he didn't. BoJack wanted to prove that Wanda loved him by making an auto-erotic asphyxiation machine that would hang him and she admitted that she loved him to save his life. BoJack went back to Corduroy to give him his auto-erotic asphyxiation kit only to find him dead after using a phone charger in which BoJack told him how he didn't need a kit and could use a belt or a rope. BoJack insulted Mr. Peanutbutter's by telling him that Diane was leaving to escape their awful marriage. Mr. Peanutbutter got mad and revealed that he knew BoJack kissed his wife. Mr. Peanutbutter then asked BoJack why he treats him as a joke with BoJack responding it's because he's jealous of how everything comes so easy to Mr. Peanutbutter and because Mr. Peanutbutter can love himself. BoJack was so mad that the Nixon scene was cut out of Secretariat that he chose to break into the Nixon Library to film the shot either way. It is revealed earlier that BoJack was taught as a kid to never cry and he didn't cry in the scene like he was supposed to. BoJack later found out that Kelsey got fired because of filming the scene with BoJack. BoJack called the movie a piece of shit and was said that it could hurt his career. He started avoiding working on the movie until he could have gotten sued. BoJack got into an argument with Wanda and she broke up with him because of how negative he acts and how he doesn't have the right to be shitty to her just because his life has been hard. BoJack avoided going back on set and went to New Mexico instead. BoJack said he went to New Mexico because he hated the person he was in L.A. BoJack gave Penny's friends real alcohol which caused Maddy to suffer from alcohol poisoning and told Pete to lie to the Doctors. Once BoJack came back to Charlotte's house, Penny wanted to have sex with BoJack but BoJack declined as she was Seventeen (although the legal age of consent). BoJack then kissed Charlotte and confessed his feelings but Charlotte told him that he has the wrong idea and how he needs to leave tomorrow. BoJack then tried to have sex with Penny but Charlotte stopped him and told him that if he ever tries to come back, she would kill him. When he came back home, BoJack didn't get sued and found out that he became the owner of an orphanage. At the orphanage, he told the kids that he wasn't a good person and went on a rant about how hard life was but then he told the kids how their parents are dead, so their life is much harder which the kids didn't know. In Season 3, BoJack shows that he has pride for Horsin' Around despite all of the negative reviews. He relived the truth of his actions in New Mexico to a reporter but Ana managed to stop them from revealing the information. Diane told BoJack how they bring out the worse of eachother and how they should only work professionally, only for BoJack to break their agreement. BoJack was going to leave a baby seahorse on its own but decided that he couldn't do that. On the trip to get the seahorse back to his father, he robbed a store as he didn't have the form of currency used underwater. also destroyed a taffy factory although this was to save the baby seahorse. He later returned the baby seahorse to their father. Throughout this episode, he was trying to apologize to Kelsey for his actions but couldn't talk as he was wearing a helmet the entire time and the paper he gave her had the ink washed out. BoJack accidently ruined a wedding and to fix it, he told Taneisha that she's going to get older and lonelier, and she will try to fill her loneliness with friends, sex, and a girlfriend but she will realize that no one actually loves her so she might as well marry someone she can tolerate. BoJack got mad that his publicist was helping other stars and fired her. That night, she seduced him and told him that she would only work with him. BoJack secretly slept with Todd's friend Emily and felt bad about it and allowed Todd to run his operation at BoJack's house. BoJack talked to a closer who told BoJack that he never blames himself and BoJack later told the closer that he keeps everyone at a arms length and is afraid of being known. BoJack also told them that they do feel guilt for sleeping with Emily. Emily no longer felt comfortable being around BoJack and stopped working with Todd on his new driving app. BoJack fired Princess Carolyn and she went on rant how she has tried to help him for years when no one wanted to work with him and how she would put up with him trying to sabotage or ruin everything he was apart of. Princess Carolyn talked about how BoJack needs her help all the time and BoJack revealed that he feels shitty being around her. By the end of the episode, he still refused to give Princess Carolyn her job back. After being nominated for an Oscar, BoJack felt the exact same but threw a party. In his party, Diane told him how she knows he is still feeling shitty and after BoJack insulted her, she told him how BoJack is going to be so miserable that he is going to kill himself and no one is going to stop him. BoJack talks to Ana and finds out how Ana didn't even love BoJack and it was just for the Oscar campaign. BoJack drives the new Telsa he got into a pool in attempt to kill himself with Mr. Peanutbutter saving him. Mr. Peanutbutter reveals to BoJack that BoJack actually didn't get nominated for an Oscar and all of BoJack's guests leave him. BoJack then woke up alone in his house and told Todd how he had sex with Emily. Todd then got furious at BoJack and told him how all of BoJack's issues are because of himself and he ended his friendship with BoJack. After losing everyone near him, BoJack invited Sarah Lynn to go on a bender who had been sober for nine months and while it is true that she was only sober because drugs taste better when you try them again much later, BoJack was still fine with promoting this unhealthy lifestyle. Sarah Lynn wanted to go to the planetarium but BoJack told her no and they instead went to an AA meeting so Sarah Lynn could get her chip. BoJack got bored of the stories at the AA meeting and told them what he did in New Mexico and went on a rant about how he's never gonna change. Sarah Lynn told BoJack all he needs to do is to say he's sorry to everyone he's harmed and gets a clean slate. With Diane, he didn't even apologize to her and instead broke into her home and apologized to Sarah Lynn dressed as Diane and while running away, he accidently broke her wrist. With Todd, BoJack literally just apologizes to a random kid who looks like Todd and said that he did nothing wrong with Emily. With Ana Spanakopita, he kept having blackouts in the middle of her story and when he finally hears the full story that is supposed to explain how Ana sees BoJack as a person she can't save and how he will drag her with him, he doesn't get the message. With Princess Carolyn, he literally just stands on top of his car and yells he is sorry. BoJack went to Ohio to apologize to Penny and kept telling Sarah Lynn how this is a bad idea and how they need to leave but he runs into Penny who freaks out after seeing him. Sarah Lynn discovers the heroin "BoJack" in his car and they snort it. BoJack tells Sarah Lynn how much he loves her and how they are the only ones who understand eachother. BoJack and Sarah Lynn were watching the Oscars and after Sarah Lynn wins an Oscar, she goes on a rant about how she doesn't like anything about herself and was asking if she is doomed. BoJack comforts her and tells her that they are going to Planetarium. While at the Planetarium, Sarah Lynn was unconscious from the heroin BoJack gave her and she later died in the hospital. After the death of Sarah Lynn, BoJack not only blamed himself but went on a speech to Diane about how he has destroyed everything he has touched and how he hasn't made anyone's life better because they knew him. Diane then told BoJack how he made her life growing up so much better]. BoJack agreed to do the Ethan Around show but after seeing a little girl named Chole tell BoJack that she wants to be just like him, he runs away from the set]. BoJack then attempts to kill himself by letting go of his steering wheel but stops after seeing a bunch of horses racing. In Season 4, BoJack ran away from his former life back to the Old Sugarman house. His neighbor Eddie fixed the door of the house but he broke it down to spite him. Eddie later helped him rebuild the house. BoJack then pointed out how the weather vane was stolen and got help from Eddie to get back. BoJack then got into an "accident" that forced Eddie fly and Eddie attempted to harm BoJack as the reason he never files is because his wife was killed while flying. BoJack then has the house destroyed the next day and returns to his former life. BoJack later meets Hollyhock who claims to be his daughter. BoJack told Hollyhock that he can't be a father figure to her. BoJack agreed to help Hollyhock find their mom and along the way, he said how he would have stopped this from happening which upset her. BoJack lied to Hollyhock after they checked every single woman and said there was another one so she would stay with him. BoJack admitted to Hollyhock that he has no idea who their mom is. Hollyhock told BoJack to go see his mom who has dementia and cannot recognize him. BoJack comes up with a plan to try and get his mom to recognize him so he can say "Fuck you" by making a Horsin' Around episode. Instead, his mom starts panicking after seeing it and has to leave the old folks home as she harmed someone and she moved into BoJack's house. BoJack thoughts about himself and the world are shown in Stupid Piece of Sh*t by BoJack thinking he is a terrible person and judging every single action of his. BoJack always thinks of the worst-case scenario no matter how unrealistic it is. BoJack then starts to get angry as his mother is treating a doll better than she ever treated him and he starts tossing it around and then throws it off his deck. BoJack later gets the doll back with the help of Mr. Peanutbutter. He vents to Mr. Peanutbutter how he ignores Hollyhock because he is so afraid that she will hate him like everyone else does and how when he looks at her, all he can of is every single shitty thing he's done. He starts talking about how he doesn't deserve love with Mr. Peanutbutter telling him everyone deserves love. Once he gets home and gives back the doll to his mom, his mind floods with negative thoughts to stop him from talking to Hollyhock but he manages to fight against it and after hearing that Hollyhock has her own voice inside of her, BoJack lies to her and says that it will go away. Due to BoJack's own fears because of what he experienced in Holloywoo, he starts looking at this guy who Hollyhock was seeing and wanted to prove that he was a jerk. BoJack tries to tell her that he doesn't actually love him since he hangs out around hot women all the time and she takes that as BoJack is calling her fat. BoJack later discovered that the guy was actually a jerk and was willing to break up with Hollyhock if BoJack made a deal with them. Once he gets home, he tells Hollyhock that she is beautiful. Hollyhock overdosed on weight loss pills and when BoJack discovered that it was his mom who got her to take them, he got furious as his mom took away the one thing he cared about the most at that time and he put her in the worse room in an old folks home to leave her to die their. Despite BoJack wanted to say "Fuck you" to his mom, after she gained the ability to recognize him, but BoJack instead tried to comfort his mother despite all the awful things she did to him. BoJack was able to tell Hollyhock's fathers that he wasn't he even Hollyhock's dad and was actually their brother as no horse was born on in LA when she was born. What happened was his father knocked up Henrietta and it was her baby. He gave the dads Henrietta's number and Hollyhock later called BoJack and thanked him. In Season 5, BoJack starts working on a new show called Philbert and complains about the writing. BoJack says that the show is too "gratuitous and male-gaze" so in response, he has to a nude scene rather than the female actors who were fine with doing these scenes in the first place. BoJack eventually agreed to do the scene despite how self-conscious he is. When Diane and Mr. Peanutbutter broke up, BoJack invited Diane to stay at his house if they wanted to although they declined. BoJack wanted to make a romantic relationship with Gina and managed to succeed. BoJack grabbed one of her earbuds to listen to a song she was listening too and it was a musical about corn as Gina always wanted to sing but BoJack just kept teasing her for the music she listens too. BoJack pressures her to sing by saying how she never has never done it so it can't hurt and when she finally agrees to sing, her singing turns out to be awful and she is left embarrassed. BoJack made a disgusted face after sniffing some cheese which gets twisted as BoJack having disgust for Vance Waggoner. BoJack goes on The Squawk but isn't able to explain himself and he ends up doing the opposite of he was supposed to do by saying that choking women is bad. Vance then called the show BoJack was working on sexist which even Diane agrees to being sexist, so she gets a job on the show so people cannot say it is sexist. Diane later talks to Ana who gave her a tape about BoJack's confession to that news reporter about what happened in New Mexico. BoJack started having to take drugs because of accident on Philbert. BoJack gives a eulogy at a funereal and makes jokes at his dead mother and calls her a bitch. he said how his mother had never treated him with any love and how getting a free churro was nicer than anything that she has even done for him. But BoJack still feels terrible about his mom's death as all he wanted his entire life was for her to love him and now that is impossible. BoJack falls into denial about his grief and Diane is mad at BoJack for not telling him what happened in New Mexico. BoJack started getting therapy from Diane's therapist which made her furious but she realized that BoJack needs therapy more than herself. BoJack leaves however as all he wanted was someone to talk to. Diane gets mad at BoJack after saying they are the same and reveals that she knows about what BoJack did in New Mexico by rewriting the script of Philbert. BoJack started drinking less Vodka each day. Hollyhock threw out BoJack's pills after the memories of being drugged but BoJack says that those were for his back and he needed them. BoJack was desperate for his pills that accepted going to a drug dealer and Hollyhock found that BoJack didn't need the pills at all. BoJack then got into an accident so he would keep getting pills to fuel his drug addiction. BoJack uses the terrible things that Philbert did in the show to try to justify his terrible actions which upsets Diane. BoJack talked to Diane about how his entire life, he's felt shitty for all of the things he's done and how he's the one who is always harmed the most. Diane gets mad at him tells him that he hasn't changed at all and he told Diane that he's never going to change. BoJack then admits to Diane about what happened in New Mexico and their friendship is over. BoJack's drug addiction starts messing up his view of reality and he sees himself as BoJack and Philbert and believes that the entire show was written to take him down. He gets a note saying he knows what he did which drives him so paranoid that he actually considered calling Penny's mother to see if she was trying to take him down but instead called the clueless father. BoJack then sees a musical while high of every single bad thing he's ever done with the message "Don't stop dancing" which scarred him as a child. Gina steals BoJack's painkillers and leaves him but BoJack gets his hands on the painkillers as he dropped them. BoJack while high went back on set and nearly choked Gina to death in a scene in which he was supposed to be fake choking her which ended their relationship and caused PTSD in Gina. After those events, all BoJack wanted to do was come clean about his actions. But Gina told him not to because she doesn't want to remember as another victim of BoJack and he's forced to lie about his actions in the interview. BoJack tells Diane to write a takedown piece on BoJack as he wants the world to know what a bad person he is but Diane tells him no. BoJack decides to go to rehab and asks Diane why she has been so nice to him and she tells BoJack a story about Abby who made her life hell and yet she still helped Abby when she got sick because she loved her. He started questioning if rehab even works though as Jameson had been in rehab five times and hasn't gotten better. He also accidentally helped Jameson escape. BoJack went along with Jameson and destroyed her dad's car because of memories of his own shitty dad. BoJack accidentally got Doctor Champ to turn back into an alcoholic by his water bottle with alcohol getting into the water supply. Note that he had it as a symbol and he wasn't planning on drinking it. BoJack then tried to help Doctor Champ to stop drinking alcohol but Doctor Champ refused to change and told him that he destroys the lives of those near him. BoJack tried to make his friends' lives better. He cleaned Diane's apartment and showed thanks for her believing in him, he was able to get Todd a girlfriend, and he gave Mr. Peanutbutter the crossover episode he always wanted. BoJack later became a teacher in order to teach kids about acting. BoJack even tried to save one of his students from becoming a Hollywoo star because of how badly Hollywoo (formerly called Hollywood) had corrupted him. BoJack's sins had finally caught up with him and while he avoided cancellation in the first interview, he chose to do another one that was not staged simply out of pride. BoJack was not only torn apart in the interview but it leads the audience with the question if BoJack actually has power over women due to the amount of women he's taken advantage of in his life and if he could have saved Sarah Lynn because he waited seventeen minutes before even calling a ambulance. BoJack had lost everything and became poor. No one wanted to work with him except for Vance who had committed several crimes such as abusing women and his own family and actual pedophilic acts such as sexting a minor and BoJack only agreed because he needed money desperately. BoJack went on a massive bender which broke his soberness and Bojack broke into his sold house. While in there, he almost killed himself by laying in his pool and he sent a message to Diane saying that they would save him if they liked him. While in the pool, BoJack went into a dream-like state in which he met every single person who has either abused him or has died near him. BoJack tries to apologize for his actions but is shut down. While in this state, he tries to find a way out but fails and is consumed by the tar that everyone else was consumed by. BoJack was thrown in prison for his actions but he managed to find happiness in prison and apologized to Diane for what he said to her)

Dimensionality: 3-D

Attack Potency: Human level (Was able to slightly crack a wall by hitting it (See note). Otherwise, BoJack isn't shown to be stronger than an average human at all)

Durability: Human level

Striking Strength: Human Class

Lifting Strength: Average Human (While BoJack is normally treated as extremally out of shape, he nearly choked Gina to death and he was capable of beating him in arm wrestling contest), Street level with his gun

Travel Speed: Average Human

Combat Speed: Average Human, Supersonic with his gun

Reaction Speed: Average Human

Stamina: Below Average to Average (BoJack is normally out of shape but he was able to run up the Hollywood sign and steal the "D")

Range: Standard Melee, Hundreds of Meters with a gun

Intelligence: Above Average (BoJack is capable of manipulating people, faking evidence, and getting away with crimes)

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Powers and Abilities

Human Achievements (BoJack is an actor), Stealth Mastery (BoJack stole the Hollywood "D" without being noticed), Weapon Usage (BoJack has a gun), Fire Manipulation (BoJack has a gun shaped lighter), Social Influencing (BoJack scared Sarah Lynn when she was a child by telling her that no one will love her expect for her fans who she has to keep pleasing for her entire life. BoJack convinced Cuddlywhiskers to make The BoJack Horseman Show as BoJack wanted to sabotage his own success. BoJack insulted his friend's Rock Opera by calling it "worse than a hundred September Elevens" and he later sabotaged his Rock Opera by getting him addicted to a video game so he wouldn't move out. He has a natural charisma according to Diane)

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Standard Equipment

His gun and his lighter

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Other

Standard Tactics: BoJack leads with physicals in combat but would use his gun if he has it

Weaknesses: BoJack suffers from abuse and depression and has to use drugs and alcohol to cope with his problems. BoJack hates himself and has tried to kill himself many times before. BoJack seems himself as a terrible person who cannot change. He would harm the lives of people around by how self-absorbed he is. BoJack doesn't want to be alone and escaped his abusive home to get attention. Also, he hates Honeydew.

Note: Do not attempt to upgrade BoJack based off him being able to damage a wall and survive this as these feats wouldn't even be above Tier 10.

Trivia

• As of the setting of the series, BoJack weighs some 1,200 lbs (544 kg), and is 6'6 (198 cm) or 19.75 hands tall.
  • Despite being 1200 pounds, other characters do not have much trouble dragging BoJack or lifting him up.
• One time, at a Christmas party, BoJack sneezed on Marisa Tomei. Embarrassed, he jumped off the balcony and ended up in a full-body cast.
  • The picture of him sneezing is used whenever he is talked about on the news or other related presentations as a running gag in the series.
    • Netflix also has this image of BoJack for their BoJack Horseman account icons.

• According to the BoJack Horseman art blog on Tumblr (BojartHorseblog), BoJack is 15.2 hands at the withers and is close to 19.75 hands tall if he is being measured to the top of his ears, which BoJack prefers
• BoJack hates honeydew, and once a season he, or sometimes another character, will be seen mentioning it, showing disgust for it, or ranting about it.
  • In the Season 1 episode One Trick Pony, he complains how on set there is too much honeydew in the fruit bowl.
    • It is also revealed Princess Carolyn also hates it, calling it garbage fruit, although later Mr. Peanutbutter is revealed to love it.
  • In the Season 2 episode Hank After Dark, while talking to Wanda on the phone he gets distracted by honeydew on the fruit plates backstage at MSNBSea and angrily rants about how "whenever cantalope gets invited to a party it thinks it can bring its lame friend honeydew."
    • Later in the same episode. Princess Carolyn is disgusted by the honeydew on the fruit plates at Manatee Fair.
  • In the Season 3 episode Stop the Presses, Ana reveals to BoJack her favorite fruit is honeydew, to which BoJack reacts in disgust.
  • In the Season 4 episode What Time is It Right Now, Hollyhock mentions during her call to BoJack that the airport she’s at charged her ten dollars for a fruit cup and its mostly honeydew, which angers BoJack. Hollyhock also expresses her disgust, calling it the worst part of everything it’s in - the Jared Leto of fruits
  • In the Season 5 episode Planned Obsolescence, BoJack is offended Gina would rather listen to her music than listen to him rant about the fruit spread. Gina questions if its honeydew related, BoJack says it’s in the honeydew area but the specifics keep it fresh.
  • In part one of Season 6, in The Face of Depression, BoJack notices the entire fruit plate at the AA meeting is honeydew. He begins to say "goddamn" as the opening credits start.
  • In part two of Season 6, in the finale Nice While It Lasted, BoJack actually tries honeydew at Princess Carolyn and Judah’s wedding and finally admits it’s not bad.
• The centerfold of BoJack from the 90s is parodied after a centerfold Burt Reynolds took for Cosmopolitan in April 1972.
• BoJack's house contains animal parodies of art:
  • In his bedroom, he has a triptych of three horseshoe paintings that reference Andy Warhol's work
  • The horse painting to the right of his front door references Blue Horse by Franz Marc.
• BoJack's hair in the 80s and on Horsin' Around is reminiscent of the character Uncle Jesse from Full House, which Horsin' Around parodies.
• BoJack made $30K an episode on Horsin' Around, and he continued to receive royalty checks until Angela.
• The only episodes BoJack has not appeared in are See Mr. Peanutbutter Run and A Quick One, While He's Away.
• Based on its views of Downtown L.A.'s skyline and close proximity to the Hollywood Sign (as demonstrated in Our A-Story is a "D" Story among other episodes), BoJack's house seems to be located just east of Hollywood Reservoir perched above Bronson Canyon.
  • Incidentally, the neighborhood is home to Sunset Ranch, which is well-known for horseback riding. It's also quite close to Griffith Observatory, which was of great sentimental significance to BoJack and Herb Kazzaz as well as the location of Sarah Lynn's overdose.
    • BoJack is neighbors with Channing Tatum andFelicity Huffman, as revealed in Hooray! Todd Episode! and Stupid Piece of Sh*t, respectively.
• The writers have stated that they only have someone say the f word once per season, and it only happens when BoJack has permanently ruined a relationship:
  • In Season 1 it was Herb Kazzaz in The Telescope, when he was going to die soon from rectal cancer and he rejected BoJack’s apology for abandoning him in the 90s after the network executives fired him for being caught in a gay-related scandal. Herb wasn’t upset about getting fired, but the fact that BoJack betrayed him, and he says “Now get the fuck out of my house!”
  • Season 2 was Charlotte Moore in Escape from L.A., after she caught him in bed (on his boat) with Penny, with Penny about to undress him. This scene happens after BoJack and Charlotte kiss and he begs her to run away with him and confesses he’s loved her all this time, and she rejected him and tells him to leave because he makes her too sad. After Charlotte orders Penny to go to her room she tells BoJack to leave in 30 minutes or she’ll call the police, and “if you ever try to contact me or my family again, I will fucking kill you."
  • Season 3 was Todd Chavez in It's You, after BoJack reveals that he slept with Emily, whom Todd had been trying to figure out his feelings for. BoJack tries to apologize, but Todd says feeling bad for the shitty things doesn’t make them ok (which is what BoJack keeps doing). He also tells BoJack “You are everything that is wrong with you. It’s not the drugs, or the alcohol, or the shitty things that happened to you in your career, or when you were a kid. It’s you.” He then says “Fuck, man. What else is there to say?”
  • Season 4 is actually BoJack’s himself, in Thoughts and Prayers. He takes Hollyhock to visits Beatrice at her nursing home and discovers she has dementia and no longer recognizes him. He cooks up a plan to get her to recognize him, and he says when she does, he’ll squeeze her hand, get real close, and say “Fuck You, Mom!," in order to tell her off for being a horrible mother to him.
  • Season 5 was Gina Cazador in The Showstopper, after BoJack, after having mistaken his show Philbert and reality for each other for the entire episode under the influence of pills and alcohol despite her best efforts, almost strangles her to death while shooting a scene. After they are pulled apart by the crew, Gina says "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
• BoJack bears a strong resemblance to his late uncle Crackerjack, his mom's brother. The two share similar facial features, dark brown fur, and a white snippet and pink spot on their noses and lips.
• One Trick Pony, which took place in 2014, has BoJack reveal he is fifty-years-old, which also indirectly reveals he was born in 1964.
  • His birthday is revealed to be January 2nd, 1964 in Stop the Presses.
  • This retcons BoJack Hates the Troops, where a flashback to BoJack’s birthday as a child shows Butterscotch reading a newspaper announcing The Beatles split, which would have set his birthday in April.
• Stop the Presses reveals several things about BoJack through his L.A. Gazette account:
  • He was born on January 2nd, 1964.
  • He is a Grade/thoroughbred cross horse with medium bay fur and a star and snip marking.
  • He weighs 1,200 lbs.
  • He is 19.75 hands tall
  • He has a buck knee, splay foot, ewe neck, wall eye, pot belly, and sweet tooth.
  • His temperament is related 9/10, and is mentioned he is spooky, stubborn, unpredictable, and suffers from substance abuse.
  • He has had more than 100 sexual partners throughout his life.
• BoJack still has the sweater he wore on Horsin' Around, but now his stomach hangs out of it, due to him being much slimmer during those years.
• In Thoughts and Prayers, it revealed that BoJack played football when he was a teenager.
  • The episode also revealed that in 8th grade he was in choir. He describes his solo a bit "shaky", and his mother pretended not to know him and forces him to get a ride home from the pianist who according to BoJack, "liked to tickle more than just the ivories." When BoJack came home safe, his mother said "I guess nobody wants you."
    • This is why he is skeptical of her dementia at first.
• Hooray! Todd Episode! reveals he has multiple strains of herpes.
• Some of the medicine in BoJack’s medicine cabinet (as seen in Stupid Piece of Sh*t and Lovin that cali lifestyle!!) includes:
  • Menoxidil: forehead reducer. This is used for certain types of baldness
  • Heart Burn medicine
  • Avanafil, a medicine used for erectile dysfunction
  • Fluvastatin, a medicine that lowers high cholesterol
  • Bupropion, a medicine used to help quit smoking and/or help prevent types of depression, namely seasonal affective disorder (SAD)
  • The blue pentagon-shaped pills are likely a form of dexamethasone, which treats inflammation
  • Pain Free, which is likely just ibuprofen (pain killers)

• In The View from Halfway Down, during the dinner, Zach Braff serves BoJack pills. Since everyone's meals are what they ate or encountered right before they died, BoJack is served pills because he died from a drug overdose.
  • The other character's meals are; Sarah Lynn's burger and fries, Herb Kazzaz's peanuts, Beatrice's nursery home meal, and Butterscotch in Secretariat's body whiskey and eggs.
• BoJack and Diane are the only main characters to have design changes within the series:
  • In BoJack's case, in The Face of Depression he gets a new outfit and he stops dying his hair and has it cut shorter.
• BoJack was a Scientologist for a brief period in the 90s.

Battle Records

None.

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