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David Lizewski

From The Codex
Revision as of 15:59, 20 September 2022 by MrWarnerTheGreat (talk | contribs)
"Mature Content"
This character or verse has mature themes and concepts, thus those of young age are ill-advised to look through these.

Ladies and gentlemen, you have eaten well...

You have feasted on New York's wealth and spirit, but your feast is nearly over. From this moment on...

...none of you are safe.

By the time I got home, I had fifteen abusive texts from Katie's friends and a photo on my phone of her sucking Carl's dick.


I'd never felt so low in my life and I'm ashamed to admit I whacked off at that picture while crying, some nights.''

~ David Lizewski
I always wondered why nobody did it before me.

I mean, all those comic-book movies and television shows, you'd think at least one eccentric loner would have stitched himself a costume.

Is everyday life really so exciting?

Are schools and offices really so thrilling that I'm the only one who ever fantasized about this?

C'mon, be honest with yourself.

We all planned to be a superhero at some point in our lives.

Background

Kick-Ass is the main protagonist and the title character of the comic book series. He is a superhero created by artist John Romita, Jr. and writer Mark Millar and published by Marvel Comics under the company's Icon imprint. Kick-Ass is the superhero identity of David "Dave" Lizewski.

This dropdown contains the synopsis of David's story. Read at your own risk as you may be spoiled otherwise!
In Kick-Ass 1

Dave Lizewski was an otherwise ordinary New York City high school student. His mother died of a brain aneurysm and so Dave served as an anchor to reality for his loving single father. However, Dave takes his interest in comic books as inspiration to become a real-life superhero. He assembles a suit and mask, which he wears under his normal clothing, and he begins his own personal training before attempting to fight crime, predictably leading to disastrous results as Dave is hospitalized following a stabbing and then being struck by a car. Telling his father he was mugged, he undergoes intense physical rehabilitation, including four operations. He is released weeks later, with metal plates all over his body and with his nerve endings having delayed reactions to pain, making him almost immune to conventional beatings. In spite of considering giving up crime fighting, he soon goes back onto the streets. When he saves a man from a beating and fights off the attacking thugs, an onlooker records the incident and uploads it on YouTube, turning Lizewski into an overnight sensation dubbed with the name Kick-Ass.

Kick-Ass later becomes the inspiration to hundreds of others, most of which are content to simply make web pages and costumes but with some actually going out and effectively fighting crime. Other superheroes Kick-Ass encounters are Hit-Girl and Big Daddy, whose level of professionalism intimidates Kick-Ass and also serves to remind him just how serious crime fighting can be. He retires for a little while until he becomes aware of another hero, Red Mist, who has become a sensation, even stealing the credit for being the first ever superhero. Kick-Ass subsequently leaves retirement, initially to challenge Red Mist, but instead they team up.

Red Mist, however, turns out to be the son of mob boss John Genovese and this leads to the death of Big Daddy and the torture of Kick-Ass at the hands of various gangsters. Before long, Kick-Ass is rescued by Hit-Girl and the two get their revenge on John Genovese, together bringing down his entire organization. Kick-Ass threatens John Genovese with a gun, and shoots off his genitals through pure fluke, giving Hit-Girl an opening to kill John.

In Hit-Girl

Six months later after the fight at Genovese's Penthouse and Big Daddy's death, Mindy informed Dave that John Genovese's brother Ralphie has taken over the family business and that they have to take him and his crew down before more heroes are killed. Dave has a bad feeling about this, but agreed to meet Mindy at the safe house later. Kick-Ass heads for the safe house (wearing a coat and a scarf) and, on his way, lends a homeless man some money since he kept begging. Once Kick-Ass reaches the safe house, Hit-Girl tells him to wear layers next time it's cold because his clothes could be a big disadvantage when it's time to fight. Hit-Girl then gives Kick-Ass a tour of the safehouse and talks about her first mission with her father. Hit-Girl also tells Kick-Ass he needs some training, but she will only train him if he agrees to help train her on how to be a normal girl, Kick-Ass agrees, with that, Kick-Ass officially becomes Hit Girl's sidekick, taking an Oath of Truth and Justice.

Kick-Ass's first training session has him and Mindy dressing up in rich fancy clothes to lure in thugs. Mindy times Kick-Ass seeing how long it would take for him to beat up the thugs. Next, Kick-Ass had to swing through a window into a building, but Kick-Ass says that it was too high so he starts off on a lower floor and has to swing through a window fifteen times. After the training, Dave showed Mindy all the clothes, songs and shows girls her age were wearing and talking about.

Later, while Dave is writing an article for CBR, Mindy calls him and tells him to get ready for their first mission. Before Dave leaves his apartment, his Dad tells him to take out the garbage, Once Dave is in his costume, he meets Hit Girl at the Hit Mobile and asks her if she has been practicing her lines for school. Kick-Ass then asks Hit Girl why he is her sidekick when he's five years older then her, Hit Girl just counters by saying "They might as well call you Hit Boy."

Their first mission is at a restaurant called Trotskis, where Hit Girl set up a meeting for Ralphies men to meet & talk. Kick-Ass makes his entrance by swinging on a rope, breaking through a window, and saying his Entrance line "Did Somebody Order a Fucking Sandwich?" Kick-Ass begins to beat up the goons with his batons and does well until he punches one of the guys the wrong way and breaks his own hand. Hit Girl enters the restaurant and guns down all the henchmen, leaving Kick-Ass in shock because Hit Girl agreed not to kill anybody. After Hit Girl kills one more goon, Kick-Ass leaves with her & and heads for the Hospital.

In Kick-Ass 2

Following this, Hit-Girl retires to lead a normal childhood, although she does train Kick-Ass to fight more effectively. A team-up with new hero Doctor Gravity leads to Kick-Ass joining superhero team Justice Forever, where he meets numerous new heroes, including Battle Guy, who turns out to be Kick-Ass' best friend, Marty. Both Kick-Ass and Battle Guy unmask in front of the rest of the team, which was probably not a clever idea, considering Red Mist had announced over the internet that he was recruiting supervillains to get revenge on Kick-Ass and Hit-Girl. They later encourage their friend, Todd, to become a superhero too.

Kick-Ass goes on a mission with Justice Forever, taking down a human trafficking organization. He continues to work alongside Justice Forever, his reputation growing, until his father, worried that he is doing drugs, finds his Kick-Ass costume amongst various newspaper clippings of the group's success. Initially, he is angry at his son for what he is doing and this prompts Kick-Ass to run away from home. Later, Kick-Ass and his two best friends go to Justice Forever's new HQ until they find a new spot and they all mourn the loss of Colonel Stars and Kick-ass tells them that Red Mist changed his Twitter name to The Motherfucker and that they should all stay in pairs.

Dave, Marty, and Todd are later seen at the Hospital visiting a badly beaten Katie and Dave tells his friends that when he was captured and tortured by Red Mist's father's henchmen, he said anything in order for them to stop frying his balls. Then Dave gets a text from The Motherfucker saying, "Forget the bitch; it's your 'old man' you should be worried about, you prick." Dave then runs to his apartment only to see his father being arrested by the cops since they came looking for Dave but his father told the cops that he was Kick-Ass and is put into a police car, leaving Dave in shock and crying out his name as the cops take him away.

Later, Dave goes to visit his father in prison and tells him he is sorry he got him involved, but Dave's father tells him that everything is going to be fine. However, Motherfucker's men kill him in prison. Dave later goes to his father's funeral and tells Mindy she was right about everything until Dave's father's coffin blows up and Motherfucker's Henchmen kidnap him but he is saved by Mindy who tells him to suit up (since the henchmen had Dave's costume). They both arrive at Motherfucker's hide-out; while Mindy kills everyone else, Kick-Ass beats up one of the super-villains with his batons (now equipped with spikes). Kick-Ass recognizes the super-villain who raped Katie and continues to beat him until he falls into the shark tank. Mindy then gets some information out of the villain and finds out that The Motherfucker is going to attack Times Square at 8pm. Dave then sends a message to all the heroes to help stop the super-villains.

Later, when Motherfucker and his army are destroying Times Square, Kick-Ass and Hit-Girl show up and Motherfucker mocks them for showing up until he sees the army of super-heroes ready to fight with Kick-Ass. Then Kick-Ass says, "What's the Matter, Chris, you shitting yourself? You should be." After Kick-Ass and Motherfucker throw insults at each other, Kick-Ass punches Motherfucker in the face and the fight begins.

While Hit-Girl is fighting Mother Russia, Kick-Ass pins Motherfucker on the ground and begins to punch him in the face, even knocking his mask off. The other Heroes tell Kick-Ass to finish him off but Kick-Ass wants to put Chris in jail. When the cops start arresting everyone wearing a costume, Chris makes a run for it but Kick-Ass follows him into a building.

When he reaches the roof, Chris attacks him with paint buckets. Chris tells Kick-Ass that the cops are everywhere and that they have to lay low but Kick-Ass refuses to listen and kicks Chris in the testicles. He then grabs his stick and beats Chris up until he tells Kick-Ass he will pay him to leave him alone but Kick-Ass refuses and says he is going to jail. Chris then grabs some nails and throws them at Kick-Ass' face. Kick-Ass hits Chris in the face and in anger, Kick-Ass yells at him, "Just fucking die!" Then he hits Chris in the face with his stick , which knocks him off the building.

Dave is shocked over what he has just done, thinking he killed Chris but he then hears him begging for help. Dave then calls the cops, who arrive to arrest Chris but they see Dave on the Building and were going to arrest him to until Hit Girl showed up and made a distraction for Dave to get away. Dave then finds Marty and Todd and tells them that they will meet Hit Girl in the safe house.

With Hit-Girl in custody, Dave receives a letter from Mindy and learns that he has inherited $2-million in cash along with all of McCready's "weaponry, vehicles, and crime-fighting equipment," along with instructions on how to break her out of jail. Six weeks later, he reassembles the remnants of Justice Forever and attempts to lead them in a cover operation to liberate Hit-Girl; the team is spotted outside the prison walls, however, and flees, leaving Mindy in the prison cell.

In Kick-Ass 3

Six months later, Dave graduates from high school and moves into an apartment in Hoboken with Todd, and the two go to work part-time at both a fast food restaurant and a comic book store. Believing that he completely screwed up his personal life, Dave feels that all he has left is Kick-Ass.

While on patrol, Kick-Ass and Ass-Kicker investigated a series of burglaries that occurred in the area. Kick-Ass attempted to interrogated a group of people in a bar for information, but a man named Moscow revealed the burglar as Tay Weez and gave out his address just to get back at him for not paying the money he owes. Kick-Ass and Ass-Kicker then broke into Tay Weez's house and found him passed out drunk in his bedroom. They tied him up and called the cops to arrest him. At the Justice Forever headquarters, tensions were rising since no one has made an arrest in seven weeks. Kick-Ass and Ass-Kicker were really upset with the new superhero called The Juicer, who was treating the headquarters like it was his apartment.

Lizewski finishes high school and gets a job working at a fast food restaurant (and part-time at a comic shop) with his friend Todd, who he shares an apartment with. After a fight with a gang, Kick-Ass meets a woman named Valerie and starts dating her. At the party being held to celebrate Chris's release, Kick-Ass arranges to get the members of Justice Forever to help him raid the party and send a warning to the mob. The plan fails, but Kick-Ass is rescued by his friends who abandon him at the first sign of mob retaliation at the party.

At the mercy of Chris, Mindy is saved when he, out of guilt for how his actions turned his mother into a pariah, turns and kills the corrupt guards, getting mortally wounded during the gunfight. Helping Mindy escape in a van, Chris accidentally crashes due to his injuries, and dies of his wounds. The police, also working for Rocco, find his body later. Mindy is caught by a police officer but is saved by Dave, who kills the police officer by bashing him in the back of the head repeatedly. The duo return to Justice Forever HQ after having learned from Chris that all the gang leaders will be gathering in a boathouse, and go their separate ways; Mindy goes to Rocco's meeting in a speedboat, intending to kill all the gang leaders assembled there, while Dave goes to save Todd in Big Daddy's monster truck.

Kick Ass manages to kill the two kidnappers; blowing the first one up with explosives and driving a chainsaw through the head of the other, only for Todd to reveal that there are four others downstairs. They promptly show up and proceed to beat Dave to pulp, who consciously regrets the idea of ever becoming a hero in the first place. However in that moment, Dave is reminded of his mother and father telling him that superheroes make people believe that any situation, regardless of how daunting, is possible to overcome. Rejuvenated by this memory, Kick Ass realizes that his suit is insulated and jams the extension cord into the spilled alcohol, fatally electrifying all the thugs, instantaneously.

Dave brings Todd back to the Hospital where Valerie reveals that all the other gang leaders where murdered via a series of explosions (courtesy of Hit Girl) and declares she cannot continue dating him if he continues fighting crime. However Dave reminds Valerie that promised her it was his last time and that a superhero never breaks his promise. When a relieved Valerie asks Dave who will stop the bad guys, Dave half-jokingly points out: "The bad guys are all dead."

A few months later, Dave is shown to have retired from his super-hero career and become a police officer, while giving Todd all of his inheritance from Mindy, including the luxurious mansion. In spite of ending his crime-fighting, Dave continues to be an every-day hero, helping out others in trouble and remains confident that the new heroes will do fine without him.

Statistics

Key: Pre-Training | Post-Training

Tier: 9-B | At least 9-B, likely Low 8-C, High 8-C with Preparation

Name: Dave Lizewski, Kick-Ass

Origin: Kick-Ass

Sex: Male

Age: Unknown in Kick-Ass 1 and 2 (Is still in high school) 19 in book 3 (Graduated high school and is over nineteen-years-old)

Classification: Human, Superhero, Police Officer

Dimensionality: 3-D

Attack Potency: Wall level+ (Broke the legs of a chair by hitting it against Red Mist's face. Defeated a group of John Genoverse's goons. punched through and fragmented a wooden door with a single punch which would be this strong) | At least Wall level+, likely Small Building level (Pierced the skull of an officer and should be somewhat comparable to Hit-Girl by Kick-Ass 3), Large Building level with Preparation (Has access to Hit-Girl's arsernal of weaponry, which likely includes Condition Red, which is a super secret chemical compound that gives the user the strength of ten men)

Durability: Wall level+ (Survived being stabbed and getting hit by a car without his metal plates. Both Kick-Ass and red Mist survived the collapse of a multi-floored apartment unit. Survived an onslaught of punches from John's goons after being shocked with the energy of a car battery) his damaged nerve ends and metal plates make him difficult to hurt | At least Wall level+, likely Small Building level (Stronger than before. Survived smashing into glass windows at high speeds early during his training. Survived multiple blows from The Motherfucker), Large Building level with Preparation (As Condition Red gives the user the strength of ten men, this should also apply to durability), his damaged nerve ends and metal plates make him difficult to hurt

Striking Strength: Wall Class+ | At least Wall Class+, likely Small Building Class, Large Building Class with Preparation

Lifting Strength: Superhuman (Was able to slightly lift up building rubble without it crushing him) | Superhuman, possibly Class 5 (Stronger than before. Should scale to Hit-Girl who could effortlessly kick over a bookcase and is implied to lift weaponry several times larger than herself)

Travel Speed: Athletic Human (Trained prior to becoming Kick-Ass) | Superhuman (Should be somewhat comparable to Hit-Girl who caught up with a van on foot)

Combat Speed: Transonic (Regularly fights John Genoverse's mafia goons) | At least Transonic (Faster than before. Managed to blitz three street thugs with ease and scales to other heroes), Higher with firearms (Has explosive bombs and rocket launchers)

Reaction Speed: Transonic (Regularly fights John Genoverse's mafia) | At least Transonic (Faster than before. Should be somewhat comparable to Hit-Girl who danced around bullets and Patience's team who can dodge bullets at close range)

Stamina: Superhuman (Even while losing blood from his stab wound and getting hit by a car, he managed to take his clothes off for the ambulance) | Superhuman

Range: Standard Melee by himself, Extended Melee with batons and pepper spray, Hundreds of Meters with explosives and firearms, Kilometers with firearms

Intelligence: Average pre-training (Although Kick-Ass has no former training, besides working out before donning his outfit, he has shown to be quite adapt at using the environment around him to his advantage and has made basic strategies on the fly) | Gifted post-training (Despite only training for a few months, he was able to effortlessly beat armed thugs and out skill the Motherfucker, who had also received some martial arts training for a brief period. David noted to had trained every morning after he and Hit-Girl quit training and furthered his skill as an officer)


Powers and Abilities

Superhuman Physical Characteristics, Preparation, Acrobatics (Can jump over cars and has shown to be very athletic), Accelerated Development and Martial Arts (Training and Fighting; Was trained by Hit-Girl for half a year and matched far more skilled opponents), Weapon Usage (Can use his batons efficiently), Stealth Proficiency (Snuck up behind a police officer and killed him), Vehicular Mastery, Social Influencing (Kick-Ass inspired people across the country to become heroes and gathered hundreds of heroes to face the Motherfucker in the battle at Times Square. Is remarked as charming), Sheer Will (Got up even after being beaten senseless and continued fighting), Regeneration (High-Low. Could heal his cracked ribs, smashed teeth, and head trauma back the next day with minor bruises), Fragrance Manipulation (Has a bottle of pepper spray he carries around), Likely Bulletproof (His newest Kick-Ass costume should be bulletproof as it was supplied by Hit-Girl. Wears a bulletproof vest as an officer), Immense Pain Tolerance (His metal plates make eighty-five percent of damage numb), Resistance to Electricity Manipulation (Survived being shocked multiple times with minor damage)
Enhanced Senses (Has access to a pair of night vision goggles which also enhances faraway targets), Explosion Manipulation (Has various types of bombs and rocket launchers), Smoke Manipulation (Via smoke bombs), Purification and Healing (Stated to have almost every type of medicine to use for curing illnesses), Hypnosis (Can force people asleep with drugs and has knock-out gas), Electricity Manipulation (Has Electric Batons that Kick-Ass uses), Fragrance Manipulation and Illusion Manipulation (Has a toxic gas that causes hallucinations), Paralysis Inducement and Electricity Manipulation (With his electric baton he used during training. Should have a similar taser to the one Hit-Girl uses), Statistics Amplification (Has a special compound that gives her the strength of ten men)

Standard Equipment

  • Original Batons: In Kick-Ass 1 and the first five volumes of Kick-Ass 2, David uses his iconic two green batons, likely made from a snapped mop handles wrapped in green electrical tape. Due to the minor modifications David made to the batons, they have handles at the bottom, allowing David to pull them off his Kick-Ass suit in the middle of combat.
  • Modified Batons: These batons were introduced in volume six of Kick-Ass 2, right before The Battle of Times Square. The only difference in these batons is the nails added at the upper part of each baton wrapped in grey tape. David continues to use his upgraded batons in Kick-Ass 3 until he retires as Kick-Ass.

Other

Standard Tactics: Kick-Ass will typically use his batons and strike at the head to daze his opponent before hitting them in the eyes or head once more to incapacitate them (Sometimes killing them if he feels it's necessary). Alternatively, he'll use some of Hit-Girl's equipment for a more serious situation (Examples being her C4 Charges, Electric Baton, Big Daddy's truck, etcetera)

Weaknesses: Kick-Ass pre-training is unskilled in hand-to-hand combat and can be overwhelmed by a more skilled opponent. | Although he does receive a modest amount of training from Hit-Girl, he still lacks the discipline to fight off martial artist to the point that he even doubts his chances against some world criminals as an officer.

Gallery

Battle Records

*Jesse (Minecraft: Story Mode) - Thread

  • Keys: SBA
  • Conditions: Jesse had his standard equipment while Kick-Ass had his optional equipment.
  • Location: SBA
  • Restrictions: None.
    • Scott Pilgrim (Scott Pilgrim) - thread
      • Key: Both were at 9-C.
      • Conditions: Kick-Ass had all of his pre-training equipment, and Scott had no knowledge of Subspace, thus couldn't directly access it.
      • Location: Random public college.
      • Restrictions: Scott Pilgrim's Plot Manipulation, Perspective Manipulation, Observation, Law Manipulation, and Transmutation were disabled.

    None.

    Discussions (Link For Mobile Users):

    Discussion threads involving David Lizewski