Porky Minch

• Ness, let's be friends again. Please answer me. I promise to be good. ...uh...okay... Hah! I lied! See you, sucker!

• Ness, you're so lucky... I envy you. I have no luck. But, Ness... well, okay...Let's be friends forever, all right?

• Come and get me, loser! Spankety, spankety, spankety!

• Is this really the time for you to be singing a dumb song like that? Hah hah hah hah.

• Heh heh heh heh. You must really be at the end of your rope. In this bizarre dimension, you four are the only force fighting for justice...And here you stand, waiting to be burned up with all the rest of the garbage of this universe...Haaaaah! That's so sad. I can't help but shed a tear. You know, my heart is beating incredibly fast. ...I must be experiencing absolute terror! Do you want to scream for help here in the dark?! Ha ha ha ha ha! Why not call your mommy, Ness! Say, "Mommy! Daddy! I'm so frightened! I think I'm gonna wet my pants!" I know you have telepathy, or something, so just try and call for help, you pathetically weak heroes of so-called justice! No one will help you now! Ha ha ha haah...

• Ness! Now, I...well...it's going to seem like I'm running away. But perhaps I'll just sneak away to another era to think about my next plan. It's a good bet that we'll see each other again... All right! I'll be seeing you! So now which one of us do you think is the cool guy?!

• cough* *wheeze* *cough* Come a little closer so I can see your face better... Oh, is that what you look like? I was the one who brought you here. A traveler who journeyed to and from past and future. I'm the most clever, most charming, and most trouble-making boy ever... Master Porky Minch! I welcome you once again, you weak hangers-on pretending to be the last survivors of this world! Spankety, spankety, spankety! Ahahahahaha! *cough* *cough*... *wheeze* *wheeze* You resorted to blanking your memories to create a new world where humanity's past failures would never be repeated... How stupid can you be?! No matter how much you change the rules, no matter how much you refuse to admit defeat, in the end, creatures known as "people" will always sign their own death warrant by acting out of stupidity and evil. And then... mankind will be gone for good. You could've been happy, if only you would've done as I did and obediently, selfish desires of a great hero... *wheeze* *wheeze* *wheeze* *gasp* *gasp* Why is it you struggle to cling to life with such puny minds, pitiable bodies, and feeble hearts? Well, no matter. The curtain is about to fall on this pathetic little play of yours. Because, soon, the power of power will be mine. The world and everything in it has been my oyster so far, and now I'll end it all by acquiring the ultimate power. Heheheh heheh. Aha ahahaha ahahahahahaha. *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *gasp* *gasp* *gasp* *gasp* Whew... Though everything so far has been fun and games, I've given you many a concession. I was bored out of my mind and wanted to play something more thrilling, you see. But now, since we're face-to-face like this, I won't hold anything back. My slave... My lifeless son will pull the final needle for me. And, the moment he does, the Dragon should awaken and do as I want. At which time, I assume you fools will turn into garbage or dust or something and finally disappear for good. Ahahaha... I'll admit this is kind of sad. But I would be crushed under the weight of boredom if it were any other way. *wheeze* *wheeze* *wheeze* *gasp* *gasp* *gasp* *gasp* Do you understand now? Do you understand the sadness Master Porky bears, now that he's godlike? Ahahaha. Aha ahahahaha. *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough*

• Oh! You love your little dramatic plays, so this couldn't have come at a better time for you! It seems that the seventh and final Needle has just been located deep underground, below here. (...) Waha... Waha... Wahahahahaha! I assume you want to pull it too, right, Lucas? Why not and go check it out then? I'm even being fair enough to tell you where it is. That really will make this game all the more fun! But I think I will use my shortcut to give myself a head start, if you don't mind! Ahahahahahahaha! *cough* *cough* *cough* *wheeze* *wheeze* *gasp* *gasp* Bring it on! If you can catch me that is! Here, you can use this elevator all you want! Spankety, spankety, spankety! *wheeze* *gasp*

• Stop! Stop! Stop right there~! *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* This really is no time for games anymore. I don't feel like letting you go any further. If you're after the Needle, then don't worry. My adorable little monster is on its way to it as we speak. *wheeze* *wheeze* *gasp* *gasp* (...) Huh? That monster's name is Claus? It's name was Claus?! That almost sounds like a person's name! But now it's my robot. Not even a fragment of life remains inside it. It's Master Porky's slave robot! It does whatever I say! It acts on my will alone. It's my double. It doesn't know anything about who you are! *cough* *cough*

• Let me fill you in on something. No matter how much you attack me, I'll never die. Even if I somehow wind up beaten, I'll never die. Bet you didn't know that, did you?

• I've gone through time and space so many times that I haven't aged like a normal person. Who knows, I might be 1000 years old, or even 10,000 years old. But, despite that, I'm still the same kid at heart! Is that funny? It is, isn't it? Does it make you laugh? *cough* *wheeze* Are you laughing at me?!

• If the Dragon wakes up, it might end up destroying everything and extinguishing all life. Even so... Ahaha aha ahahaha ahahahahahaha! *cough* *gasp* *cough* Even so, I'll be alive. Me and the Dragon will be the only things left alive in the whole wide world! I'm more than ready for that possibility! Ahaha ahahahahaha! *cough* *cough* *gasp *wheeze*

• Thank you for playing along with me all the way to the end like this. I'm actually a pretty nice guy, wouldn't you say? Aha ahaha.

• !? ...What did Porky do!?

• With my eternal life, I will see the world through to its end. Until everyone who won't like me is gone.

• I'll never die. I'll never die, nor will I ever be beaten... but it appears my machine has run out of energy for the moment. Ahaha. Lucas... You haven't won, just so you know. I'm going to duck inside this "Absolutely Safe Capsule" for the time being. When I'm inside, no attack will have any effect on me whatsoever. I'm sure you're thinking "Yeah, right. There's no such thing as 'absolutely'..." But there is such a thing... And it's this! The Absolutely Safe Capsule I trick Dr. Andonuts and the Mr. Saturns into making for me! Me! ME! All for me! *cough* *cough*

• Inside the Absolutely Safe Capsule, Porky is sticking his out at you. Because Porky is sealed inside the Absolutely Safe Capsule, the battle is, by definition, over.

Background

Porky Minch (Also known as Pokey Minch in EarthBound due to a translation error) is a secondary antagonist of MOTHER 2, along with being the main antagonist of MOTHER 3.

This dropdown contains the synopsis of Porky Minch’s story. Read at your own risk as you may be spoiled otherwise!

Porky makes his debut in MOTHER 2 where his name is localized as Pokey due to a typo. In EarthBound, Porky initially lives in Onett with his father, Aloysius Minch, his mother, Lardna Minch, and his brother, Picky Minch. Living next to Ness, Porky is often seen as an unruly nuisance, being selfish and cowardly, he also enjoys playing practical jokes. Porky does not have any friends, according to Shigesato Itoi he often used to play with Ness because of this[1]. When a meteorite strikes Onett, Porky is one of the first to investigate. When Picky goes missing, Porky recruits Ness to help find him. Along the way Porky cowardly plays dead or hide behind Ness whenever they're under attack. At the meteor they find Picky, who explains it was actually Porky who got scared and ran off. As they're leaving, Porky and Picky then witness Buzz Buzz retelling of the prophecy to Ness, to which Porky convinces himself that he is not one of the chosen four heroes. After this, the Starman Junior ambushes them. Porky cowers as Ness and Picky assist Buzz-Buzz with battling the alien on their own. Porky is then returned home where he is punished by his father for sneaking out at night, then he seemingly leaves home to follow Ness' travels. At some unknown point, Porky becomes affiliated with Giygas, party due to his jealousy for Ness. Ness later encounters Porky in Happy Happy Village. Allegedly, Mr. Carpainter gave Porky a major role in Happy-Happyism as the high-priest. He was directly responsible for the kidnapping of Paula. After Ness finds Paula, he sends two Happy-Happyists and Spiteful Crows to stop him from getting the key from Carpainter. Carpainter's defeat only has Porky falsely apologize to Ness, and while Ness and Paula continue on their way, Porky follows the trail of the Mani-Mani Statue. In Fourside, Porky, alongside his father, have achieved power and affluence by working as business consultants for the shady mayor Geldegarde Monotoli. Paula's rescue again results in his escape in a helicopter. From here, Porky is not seen again in the present. However, he was known to steal a Phase Distorter from Dr. Andonuts, Apple Kid, and the Mr. Saturns, which he used to travel back in time to prepare for the arrival of the Chosen Four. In the lair of Giygas, Porky confronts Ness and his friends as Giygas awakes in the Devil's Machine. He states that Giygas is incapable of being comprehensive, and calls him an "all-mighty idiot" as he shuts off the Devil's Machine, revealing Giygas' true form. When Giygas is defeated, Porky escapes in his disintegration, traveling through time and space away from the Cave of the Past, but not without taunting Ness as he leaves. Finally Porky sends a message to Ness through Picky, which reads Porky later reappears as the main antagonist in Mother 3. He was named "Porky" in the fan translation due to it being his correct name, and also due to a large amount of pig-related puns involving him. Although not present or mentioned directly for most of the game, Porky's influence is seen through the Pigmask Army that emerges early on in the story. When the game skips forward several years into the future, it is revealed that the Nowhere Islands are controlled by "King P", although the actual Pigmask forces are commanded by the Fierce Pork Trooper, Fassad, and the Masked Man. Porky's presence is hinted at in Chapter 5, when the party goes through his playroom in Thunder Tower. While only referenced as "the King's playroom", it is shown that the most prized possession there is the "Friend's Yo-yo", a reference to Ness's use of yo-yos in the previous game. The fact that Ness is referred to as a "friend" here and that the yo-yo is the most prized possession once again implies that Porky expressed some positive feelings of his former enemy. Porky is finally confirmed to be the identity of "King P" at the end of Chapter 7, when he invites the party to his home in New Pork City. When Lucas meets Leder, he learns that Porky didn't end up on the Nowhere Islands from the White Ship like the others. Instead, he came from a Time Distorter, and made people from other times, such as Dr. Andonuts, come to this time period. He also began putting animals together to create chimeras and became dictator of the land. He eventually learned of the secret of the Nowhere Islands' past from Locria, the seventh Magypsy. Porky then tries to have the Seven Needles pulled by the Masked Man to control the Dark Dragon. Lucas tries pulling the needles as well to stop him. Lucas and his friends confront Porky in the Empire Porky Building. Here, they scale numerous floors to reach him, and throughout he is shown taunting them through an intercom system. When they reach the final floor, he appears in a suit while looking about the same age as he was in EarthBound. He tells the party that he wants to be friends with them, and asks them to sympathize with him. However, reguardless of the answer, he explodes, revealing the "young Porky" to actually be one of many Mecha-Porkies. Once all of the Mecha-Porkies are destroyed, the real Porky appears. While still retaining his child-like body, his outward appearance has aged drastically, as he now has white hair, pale skin, and facial hair. He has now became weak to the point where he is constantly coughing and wheezing as he speaks, he must also use his spider-mech bed to maneuver. However he still possesses his childish mentality, albiet in a much more twisted way. He does not see people as humans and refers to them as "creatures". He admits he knew about the residents of Tazmily Village blanking their memories to restart the world, without memories of the lifestyle of the past world which brought about its destruction, yet he taunts them saying that in the end they will end up destroyed no matter what they try. Porky then says what he has done was out of sheer bordem, and now expresses his desire to use the Masked Man to pull the final Needle and put an end to everything out of self-enjoyment. Once the final needle was located, Porky challenged them to try pulling it first. He sent them down an elevator that leads to a cave below the building, but he said he'll be taking a shortcut to the place where the final needle lies. When the party chases him down, his state of madness becomes apparent. Once he learns the Masked Man is Lucas's brother Claus, he does not admit him as a human, calling him his slave robot while saying not a fragment of life remains it him. Porky reveals he had aged rapidly due to his misusage of time traveling (stating himself to be 1,000 or even 10,000 years old), however he is still a kid inside, he also claims he is immortal and will never die Reguardless of what happens. He realizes there is a possibility that when the needle is pulled, the entire world will be destroyed with only him and the Dark Dragon remaining. He expresses his desire to see this happen as his master plan is to see everyone who doesn't like him be destroyed, even if everything in the world dislikes him. When his spider mech is destroyed by Lucas and his friends, he reveals an Absolutely Safe Capsule built by Dr. Andonuts, which he claims is impenetrable. When he enters it, however, he finds himself unable to escape, as the capsule was built to be impenetrable from both sides when sealed. Porky does not appear to realize the nature of his fate, only sticking his tongue out at the protagonists. When Dr. Andonuts appears, he reveals that he designed the capsule in this way (even warning Porky not to enter it), yet he also states Porky may have gotten his wish of being isolated from everyone who dislikes him. Even after Lucas pulls the final Needle, the player can find a large rolling object in the ending that is implied to be the Absolutely Safe Capsule with Porky still inside. Unused sprites found by hackers show that Porky may have originally been planned to die in the end of Mother 3, though in the end it was modified so that Porky would live on forever in the Absolutely Safe Capsule. Shigesato Itoi has stated that Porky will still be alive in 5.5 billion years when the Earth will be destroyed by the Sun going nova; Itoi says that "the grief of that is incredibly depressing to me. It's amazing... Porky is truly a poem in himself."

Statistics

Key: Mother 2 | Mother 3

Tier: 10-C physically. 8-B with his Spider Mech | 10-C physically. 8-B with his Bed Mech.

Name: Porky Minch | Master Porky Minch, Master Porky, "Big Shot", His Highness, King P.

Origin: Mother 2

Gender: Male

Age: Possibly 12 (Should be around the same age as Ness) | Inapplicable (Due to excessive time travel, the concept of age no longer applies to Porky. Porky himself states that he could be thousands or even tens of thousands of years old)

Classification: Ness's Neighbor, Party Member, Bully, Giygas's right hand man | Tyrant, Manchild, King of New Pork City, Time Traveler

Alignment: Chaotic Evil

Dimensionality: 3-D

Attack Potency: Below Average Human level physically (Is an overweight kid, hasn't demonstrated any feats that would put him on the level of the other characters). City Block level with his Spider Mech (Fought against the Chosen four alongside Giygas, but the specifics of who hit who and/or what is unknown and Porky was monologing most of the time. The end-game Chosen Four could defeat the likes of Thunder and Storm who can create storms to attack, which was calculated at this) | Below Average Human level physically (Porky is a frail old man-child due to the effects of excessive time travel, becoming unable to properly move on his own, and cannot speak that much without gasping for air). City Block level with his Bed Mech (Should be comparable, if not superior to his Spider Mech. Fought against the main cast at their end game peaks who should be comparable to the end game Chosen Four who could defeat the likes of Thunder and Storm who can create storms to attack, which was calculated at this)

Durability: Below Average Human level normally, City Block level with his Spider Mech (Can tank hits from the Chosen Four) | City Block level with his Bed Mech (Comparable to before, tanked attacks from Lucas), possibly Universe level otherwise (States that no matter how much Lucas attacks him, he can never die. Noted that even if the Dark Dragon wakes up and extinguishes all life, destroying everything he would still be alive, though Porky is unaware of the full destruction of the Dark Dragon and believes it will only affect the universe). High Multiverse level+ with the Absolutely Safe Capsule (The Absolutely Safe capsule was designed to keep Porky safe from anything outside of it, and specifically made to survive Dark Dragon's reset on reality, which it was successful with)

Striking Strength: Below Average Human Class. City Block Class via Spider-Mech | Below Average Human Class. City Block Class via Bed-Mech

Lifting Strength: Below Average Human. At least Superhuman with his Spider Mech (Due to its size) | Below Average Human. At least Superhuman with his Spider Mech (Due to its size)

Travel Speed: Superhuman normally (Can keep up with Ness). higher with his Spider Mech | Below Average Human level normally (Can hardly move on his own due to insane age). higher with his Bed Mech

Combat Speed: FTL (Can tag endgame Paula, Jeff, & Poo) | FTL (Can tag Lucas, Kumatora, Duster & Boney)

Reaction Speed: FTL | FTL

Stamina: Below Average (In Mother 2 he is an overweight, out of shape kid), the Spider-Mech is Limitless | Limitless (Despite his constant coughing and weak body, Porky himself can actually never die nor truly be beaten into incapacitation or unconsciousness)

Range: Extended Melee. Hundreds of Meters with attacks. High Multiversal via Dimensional Travel (Can travel throughout Time-Space and hop to infinite parallel worlds)

Intelligence: Supergenius (Successfully stole the Phase Distorter from Dr Andonuts. Learned how to use PSI. Established an entire army and empire dedicated to himself while manipulating the inhabitants of the Nowhere islands, even viewing the entire place as a giant "Toy Box". Created a time traveling system more advanced than Dr. Andonuts, also became a dictator and constructed mechanized animals to do his bidding. Is a master strategist and manipulator; successfully kidnapped Claus, brainwashed him and transformed him into the Masked Man)

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Powers and Abilities

Superhuman Physical Characteristics, Genius Intelligence, Social Influencing (Manipulated Monotoli, the mayor of the city of Fourside, who has garnered so much power in the region that the police force take oaths to protecting him first above any other occupant of Fourside. Manipulated an entire army of people from different universes into worshiping him as a godlike figure. Established an entire empire in which everyone is completely loyal to him and will do whatever he says to the point where people would call this "brainwashing"), Statistics Reduction and Fragrance Manipulation (Via Gas discharge, which decreases both offense and defense to all enemies), Time Travel and Dimensional Travel (His Spider Mech allows him to travel throughout Time and Space at will. Confronted the Chosen Four in The Cave of the Past, and even stated that he would sneak away to another era to think about his next plan after Giygas's death. During the events of Mother 3, it was revealed by Leder that Porky had been traveling to different universes to expand his army, but was eventually shut off from all other universes resulting in him tumbling to the Mother 3 universe), Resistance to Fire Manipulation, Heat Manipulation, Paralysis Inducement (PK Fire, PK Freeze, and Paralysis is only half as effective), limited Resistance to Mind Manipulation (Brainshock is only 99% as effective)

All previous powers and abilities, Reality Separation (Type 2. Porky had been traveling to different universes to expand his army, but was eventually shut off from all other universes resulting in him tumbling to the Mother 3 universe, traveling throughout time-space so many times has caused him to become immortal and unkillable as he is completely outside of time and no matter how old he gets he cannot die) Immortality (Type 1 and 5; Traveled throughout Time-Space so many times that it caused him to age rapidly to the point of ageless immortality. In his encounter with Lucas, he makes remarks on how he is "unkillable" and how he would survive even when the Dark Dragon erases the universe), Self-Sustenance (Type 1, 2, and 3; His own body aged rapidly as a result of traveling throughout Time and Space. Never fatigues as his Mech is doing all the work for him and claims to be unkillable. Can survive even when he is isolated for all of eternity), Inperceivable Attacks & Energy Projection (Porky can use attacks that cannot be noticed or understood), Paralysis and Uncontrollable Crying (Porky does something unknown that causes uncontrollable crying), Life Absorption (Can suck up the party’s health points), Mind Manipulation, Telepathy, Telekinesis, Forcefield Creation (With PSI Counter Device, creates a forcefield around him that envelops him with PSI Counter), Resistance to Fire Manipulation, Heat Manipulation, Electricity Manipulation, Explosion Manipulation, Paralysis Inducement, Empathic Manipulation, Mind Manipulation, Sleep Manipulation, and Poison Manipulation (Immune to Paralysis, Crying, Brainshock, Hypnosis, and Poison. PK Fire is only 30% as effect, PK Freeze is only 70% as effective, PK Thunder only being 60% as effective, and bombs being half as effective)

Invulnerability and Resistances to Reality Warping, Higher-Dimensional Manipulation, Space-Time Manipulation, Conceptual Manipulation, Nothingness Manipulation and Existence Erasure (Type 3 & 4. The Absolutely Safe Capsule allows Porky to be protected and unharmed by anything in his own Universe. This includes any form of physical and psychic attacks. It's also specifically designed to defend against the Dark Dragon)

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Standard Equipment

Spider-Mech | Bed-Mech, Absolutely Safe Capsule

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Other

Weaknesses: Porky is cowardly, lonely, sadistic, hypocritical, and had a genuinely bad childhood. Vulnerable to Brainshock and Paralysis. Once inside the Absolutely Safe Capsule, he can no longer interact with the world around him and is thus isolated for all of eternity.

Battle Records

*Vriska Serket (Homestuck) - Vriska's profile (Mother 3 Porky & God-Tier Vriska was used, speed was equalized. The Absolutely Safe Capsule are both restricted)

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